I never want to leave

I hate this but I never want to leave my house. I didn't go anywhere for a long time after I got out of my impatient stay in Feb this year. Now I can go out but only to my sister's house, or a friend's house. I don't grocery shop unless it's late at night and no one is out or if my husband is with me. I feel safer if I am with him. I know my fear is irrational but it is real nonetheless. It literally takes everything I have to get out of the house. And that's hard because I have 3 young children and we need to get out and do things, socialize with other people, etc. I used to go out all the time. Playdates, mom's night out, etc. I was super social and super involved. I volunteered at church and worked in youth ministry, I did street ministry downtown, I was at church every time the door was open. And I loved my life. I was happy. I was connected with people and I loved just loving people and being around people I care about all the time. Now it's like I am just not myself. When I am out my gauge seems to be off, my filter broken, I say things wrong, I am not witty or funny anymore, just very stoic and I have trouble putting my words together. So much has changed about me in such a short time. I barely recognize myself.

I've been there & back, HQ. I'm BP I, too, & when I get depressed it's so difficult to leave the house that I don't go grocery shopping until I'm virtually out of food. The only place I really feel safe is inside.

The only advice I can offer is what I learned in cognitive behavioral therapy. It suggests taking things incrementally. First going out to the car. The next time, getting in the car & driving through the parking lot. The next time, parking & walking up to the store's door...etc. It a way of progressively getting over your agorophobic tendencies...or so they say. I know it's easier said than done from my own experience, but when I start feeling a bit better it's a good way to start emerging from isolation.

I wish you luck & hope you can get back to your regular routine soon.

I am sorry you are feeling this way. I feel the same way in the sense that I don't want to leave the house or be 'seen' anywhere. I can completely sympathize with you regarding your issue with the children and needing to socialize. I'm dealing with the same thing right now with my 12 y/o daughter. I'm a single parent and have to force myself to get out and do things and appear normal, but I have to take anti-anxiety meds in order to do so. Thankfully I only have to take them once or twice a week (usually on the weekends--I'm fine at work). I can't seem to handle being out of my comfort zone and do everyday things like shop at the mall, or go to the movies. A concert would be out of the question. I hope you find some source of comfort and relief. That's what I hope to find here too. xo