[Squibbles]

Hello,

I was wondering if anyone had this particular driving phobia (with a twist?)

I generally enjoy driving, however, when I am out on the roads I continuously worry in case I'm somehow holding somebody up. I am generally a competent driver, generally able to drive at or slightly above the speed limit where safe, and I always keep to the 'slow' lane unless overtaking. However, whenever somebody is driving behind me, I worry in case I'm not driving fast enough for them or that I'm holding them up.

It even happens on busy roads - I was in heavy traffic and somebody was driving quite close to my bumper - I kept worrying in case I was somehow not close enough to the car in front, or was making the most of gaps in the traffic such as at roundabouts. When overtaking a slower vehicle I constantly worry in case the person behind thinks I'm not making use of overtaking opportunities.

I guess at the end of the day I'm seeking to avoid criticism at all costs, whether justifiable or not. I'd like to think I'm generally a competent driver (of course, with room for improvement) but I dislike the idea of being criticised for any reason. Incidentally, I have only been criticised by other drivers a few times, but the idea that I'm holding someone up or inconveniencing them is a real and persistent worry. I'd ideally like to shrug off any unjustified criticism that I receive - there are many inconsiderable and aggressive people out there right, and its impossible to please everyone?

Can anyone relate? If so, how would you suggest I challenge these fears?

Thanks,

Squibbles

[NWgirl2013]

You are a good & considerate driver. A safe driver. ALL GOOD! Think of it as everyone being in their own bubble, they are really not thinking about you at all, but what is going on in their bubble. If you inconvenience someone, even for a moment, it is what it is, the circumstances of the moment & nothing more. And then the moment is gone.
I probably inconvenience people sometimes, as they do me, but it is only the ebb & flow of normal traffic. Please don't fret about it if you can help it. It isn't personal, it's traffic.

[BLUEDOVE]

I used to do this when walking up or down stairs in
the subway! "Oh maybe I'm holding someone up, I
better walk faster." NOW, I say to self," Hey, I've
got a perfect right to take up space on this planet,
and walk at MY PACE.!"
The cause was,massive
lack of self-esteem and urge 'to please.' Which in
turn was caused by complete absence of affection or love when a child,and making the world at large
my surrogate parents by trying to get approval and
love from the world.
I strongly advise you to get
some books on self-esteem and assertiveness,that
knowledge changed my life. Don't feel bad about it, there are many people who don't feel they have a
right to be alive and on the planet,but do,do some-
thing to change it.
If you need more info,message
me.
Warmest Regards,
BLUEDOVE

[Redsoft]

I could have written your post myself, Squibbles! I have all the exact same concerns and anxieties while driving. It makes me feel paranoid - constantly checking rear view and side mirrors and such...WAY beyond the necessary point, I know, haha. But it's true - this is probably what makes us safer drivers. Rather err on the barely-slow side than grandma-pace or reckless speedster.

If you don't mind swearing or dark humor, you should look up the comedian Louis CK's clip "on driving" from his Oh My God special on YouTube. It's a few minutes long. It makes me feel better about those totally jerk drivers that freak about everything and see even better how ridiculous they are. You really can't please some people. On a somewhat related note, people in the area I live honk for everything and it makes me crazy. Maybe if people would take the time to control their vehicle in a scary spot than apply their efforts to honking their horn, there would be less accidents!!! Urhghhhgh. Haha.

[Jolisse]

No matter how I drive, I annoy someone. I don't like to go over the speed limit, but where I live everyone drives fast.
People give me the finger, yell at me and beep their horn all the time.
It use to bother me, now I ignore them. My safety is more important then the people who want to drive recklessly.

[a bland]

I feel the same way but I guess I do it wrong lol! I make sure I'm the fastest person on the road to make sure I'm not getting in anyone's way. Accept those crazy fast people on like Suzuki motorcycles. They r absolutely insane sometimes, cutting in front of people at the last second and going 130 mph!

[Squibbles]

Thanks for the replies everyone! Where do you live Jolisse? Sounds scary! I'm in the UK where apparently people are a bit more patient than in the likes of Italy etc, but at the same time, the whole idea of being beeped at or given the finger just seems too scary to contemplate.

Bluedove - you mentioned books on self esteem/confidence - which ones would you recommend?