I have never had many friends in my life and there was a time there when that didn't bother me in the slightest. Now, however, I wish to be close to others, to have a great friendship, as most others are capable of.

The good news is, I've found a really great friend. And when I say great, I mean great. She knows most of my issues, my anxiety, and she's been a brilliant support for me, even though I probably don't deserve it.

That bad news, however, is the fact that I've never had this before and I have no idea what I'm doing. I've told her this before and she understands, which is brilliant, but that doesn't change how I feel. I get nervous when she doesn't reply to my messages even though I understand that she's a busy person. I worry about everything I say to her, and worst of all, I can't seem to believe the fact that this will last. In the past I've never had a friendship last more than six months. I'm the person people get sick of, that they replace. I understand that and I understand that I'm most likely too messed up to even have a have a friendship but despite that I have one. And I don't want to screw it up, I want it to last, even if a part of me wants to push her away to save myself from what I feel is the inevitable - her hating me and cutting all contact, even though she's said before she's not going anywhere. I just can't believe her words.

What's wrong with me, and more importantly, how can I stop this...anxiety from ruining everything?

Wow I can so relate to this post. I only have one friend and I always worry that one day she'll get sick of listening to me and not want to be my friend anymore. I actually kind of expect it to happen that way when and if it does it won't hurt as bad.

[Harmacy]

I totally relate to this. I have a friend at work at the moment who seems so cool and understanding that it actually makes me anxious to be around her sometimes because I'm terrified she'll get bored of me, stop talking to me and not want to know me anymore. I even had a dream about it the other day - I was talking to her and then she ignored me and lifted up her chair and moved away.

The one thing I have learned from the past (although I'm not the best person to give advice) is that sometimes if you fear something you can inadvertently make it happen. I think I've done that before by getting angry at imagined rejection - which has then turned into real rejection.

Try to enjoy the moments you have with her and enjoy the friendship now. It sounds like a good one so believe her when she tells you she isn't going anywhere

[Phobicperson]

I feel you, I have that same anxiety with all my friends. I keep thinking that they'll get annoyed with me and just ignore me altogether. I guess to reduce your anxiety you could ask her to write down why she's friends with you? Cause I don't know about you but I always wonder why my friends want to be friends with me. I don't feel good enough.. So maybe you could read that list every once in a while and maybe that would help? Take care <3<3