[x_BabyG_x]

Hey guys, I dont think i've posted on this forum before though im a regular at psychcentral. so hello

I'm in a situation where fear is totally crippling me, and it concerns driving.

I passed my test 5 and a half years ago and havent driven since. Reason : Long story short, my studies have always been put first and ive used the money that could have gone on insurance and transport in to living whilst I study, I am also a mother of a two year old as well so funding has been tight.

I finished uni before the summer, and im now in the position to really go for the career ive always dreamed of, however, the only way to get in to work is if i drive. I have a car, I am now fully insured, but the problem is: im absolutely terrified of driving.

After being pretty stable for over two years, I've had issues this year with severe crashes of both depression and mania, and my life has been shaken up a bit. My confidence has seemed to hit rock bottom, and im fighting to find my way back to the top again. After a few therapy sessions I have bene brave enough to get in to the car, and my partner has given me two refresher lessons so far - which were both massive failures. My time off the road has not done the driving any good whatsoever, im having a major problem even remembering how to simply drive the car around a car park.

He got very mad with me today, as he doesnt understand why im not just bad at driving, but how I simply cant drive. It doesnt help that my concentration, memory and attention span have been impared due to all the stress recently. I had a breakdown and burst in to tears in front of him, as the anxiety of it all was just too overwhelming, and now I feel like ive failed.

Its embarrassing because it seems to come so naturally to others, however has become such a great hurdle which reflects as a phobia almost to me. My job is on the line for this, I will have to be able to make my own way (quite the distance!) for work and I just dont know what to do.

Thank you for listening. Megan.

[Blue_Bird]

Hi Megan, I have the same fear. I'm absolutely terrified of driving, I only have my permit due to that and have no idea when/if I'll ever feel confident enough to drive.

I'm sorry things are going bad for you right now, but it doesn't make you a failure I understand how difficult it is, I live in a rural area so I have to walk everywhere in order to find a job and it's very hard and very limiting. I hope you're able to bring this up with your therapist if you have one? Maybe he/she can give you some suggestions or help you start to overcome your fear. I know it may take a long time, but I hope things get better for you

[Little Lulu]

Driving has been an issue for me off and on and I think it is a common issue with people who are anxious.

Having my husband teach me anything (i.e. golf) resulted in an absolute failure. Too much emotion and expectation involved ... any chance a friend could go out driving with you? Start small, like back roads in low traffic areas , non-rush hour and make the sessions short to build your confidence. Of course you will feel shaky but I bet your actual driving will be fine.

Anyone who is raising a two year old, graduated from univ. and is in a ready to work in a dream job has the ability to drive ... you just don't believe you can do it and the only way around this obstacle is through it. But get some loving support and take baby-steps. The upshot you will feel when you get through this will be amazing ... I've been there.

[waggiedog]

Oh yes. I sure do understand. I haven't driven since two years ago when in the middle of a depression I crashed the car. I was alone, mounted the pavement when looking down to change gear. The car had five gears and I was only used to four. I could have killed a child, now I can't drive because I'm too scared, shake, and I feel sick if I even think of it. I do understand hunny. HUGS. XXXX

[atomicc]

I can completely relate to this, I don't have a license, a permit and I've maybe practiced behind the wheel four times...each time I panicked uncontrollably and cried. My boyfriend gets kind of annoyed as well because he just can't understand why I can't do it. How do you even explain to someone that something so many others do without even thinking causes you so much distress? I don't think I will ever be able to drive, but you've done it before and I think that's a big accomplishment! I know it can be tough but I think the fact you've done it and passed the test can give you a good edge.
Is there anyway you can take it slow or maybe get a couple lessons from someone other than your partner?