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#1
Sep 19, 2013, 09:50 AM
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Today I had class at 8:00 till 8:50, yeah..I hate those classes. I also had some hours to put in at the lab since I'm working on a project with one of my professors on orphaned and vulnerable children in South Africa. I woke up this morning at 6:00 am and just couldn't make myself do it. I emailed my professor and went back to bed. I woke up repeatedly with severe anxiety about missing class. I know that it wasn't a big deal, and it's the first time, and I'm allowed three...but I was beating myself to death for it.
How could you miss class? You probably slept enough, why are you so lazy? You won't even do anything all day, you're such a waste. I kept trying the relaxation exercises my T taught me to try and center myself and get away from the anxiety. It's completely unwarranted, but I just couldn't do it. My heart was racing, my mouth was dry, I couldn't get out of bed yet my head was screaming I needed to or I would lose it. I don't know why I even bother giving myself these break days when I know all I'll do is hate myself for being so weak... |
 falsememory7, gayleggg, HealingNSuffering, June55
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 Mustkeepjob32
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#2
Sep 19, 2013, 11:46 AM
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I can relate to this. Keep trying the relaxation technics, over and over until you get it under control. It's okay to give yourself a day off. You are not weak just tired.
__________________
Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha  |
| atomicc, Phoenix_1
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#3
Sep 19, 2013, 07:57 PM
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Morning is never my best time, I am usually anxious or depressed or both (but it is better than it used to be). I always feel better as the day goes on. However, not doing the next right thing always makes me feel worse than just getting up and facing whatever in ahead of me, no matter how bad I feel. And the up feeling I get from facing my fears and getting on with the day beats the alternative.
I have a friend I call when I want to 'cave' who helps me through and I love her for this. Support when I am trying to make positive changes is so important. Maybe you could find someone who might help hold you accountable. Just a suggestion ... You are not a failure ... sounds to me like you are someone who is looking for a better way to do things. Good on you. 
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| atomicc
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| atomicc, Phoenix_1
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#4
Sep 20, 2013, 05:38 PM
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I too can relate to this. Mornings are hell for me and have been for a long, long time. Recently however I've been doing a bit better with them and what I've figured out is this, I wake up anxious and since I'm not distracted by anything yet all I have is my worries. The only way for me to feel better is to get my day going as quickly as possible so that distractions can begin. This is counter intuitive as I always want to go back to sleep because I feel so bad but anxiety wont let me sleep so its get moving or lay there and suffer.
Cyran0
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My blog: http://cyran0.psychcentral.net/ Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD (childhood physical/sexual abuse), history of drug abuse. Meds: Zoloft, Lorazapam, Coffee, Cigarettes "I may climb perhaps to no great heights, but I will climb alone." -Cyrano de Bergerac |
| healingme4me, Phoenix_1
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#5
Sep 20, 2013, 06:34 PM
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Amen Cyran0.
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| Cyran0
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#6
Sep 20, 2013, 10:19 PM
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uughhhh i completely feel you on this subject. Mornings are hell for me whether induced by a specific thing or not. Considering i have yet to find a remedy i cant offer advice , just the comfort of knowing you arent alone on this subject. Have you tried medical marijuana? because that helps like nobodies business, its the best solution. a hit right when you wake up will usually calm your nerves better than any meditation or breathing excersise.
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#7
Sep 21, 2013, 02:37 PM
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Quote:
Cryan, you hit it right on the head! My anxiety will not allow me to stay in bed at all. Sometimes it'll go away once I'm getting ready and on my way to class but that really depends on the day. I never know when the anxiety will decide to stick around all day!
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Allie Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder. I no longer qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but there will always be my borderline traits that I struggle with especially during times of great stress. I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016
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| Cyran0
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#8
Sep 21, 2013, 11:56 PM
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You're not weak at all, atomic! And I do know how you feel <3 but if you never cut yourself some slack, how can you possibly perform your best? Treat yourself sometimes, even if it's the small things, such as sleeping in a little extra
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~your friend~ 
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