[Pierro]

As the title states I have ran out of excuses for family gatherings. My husband's family just think that I am an odd *****. What can I do. They don't know that I have depression or crippling anxiety and I dont want to tell them. I remember talking to my mother in law a long time ago about a friend of hers that had depression. She told me that her friend had stopped going out, and I said "maybe her depression is quite debilitating". Well, she just shrugged her shoulder's and said, "I had depression but I had to get on with it". So I know that is the answer that I would get. Just thinking about a gathering is making me sick. These are my family and I shouldn't feel like this. Any words of wisdom. I take klonopin as needed but it makes me sleepy ( not that I can sleep) maybe dopey is the word I am looking for. How do you all handle social situations. How do you cope.??

[Turtleboy]

wish i had an answer for ya pierro, i just blow everything off, i think after a while people just stop asking, but then there is the thing where some people see it as not being interested in gatherings, i don't know, i think if your mother in law said she had depression and just got on with it then maybe it wasn't real depression, there is a vast different in having the blues and real clinical depression

I used to hide my mental illness too. It was what I needed to do in a family who is afraid of mental illness. But recently I tried an experiment and just let my family have my bipolar, take it or leave it. Some did leave. That was excruciating, but some left and came back. I just started educating and re-educating with the facts about my illness. I was mortified by how prehistoric their ideas were, but they are learning. I still feel compelled to hide my symptoms. I just don't hide the fact that I am bipolar or why I am taking a sick day. (and missing a function)

[Pierro]

RR18, I wish I was as brave as you.

[Turtleboy]

it can be so scary when you first tell people, when my family found out about mine i too discovered how little they knew about mental illness. some think "suck it up" and the rest thought "see i told you he was a lunatic" but others outside my family have been very supportive, but i figure that they can take me or leave me, i really don't care, i am not my diagnosis i am still me i just understand some of the things i do better ya know

[Gus1234U]

long after my 'symptoms' had freaked out all my friends, and alienated most of my family, i realized that there was a time when i felt the same way about myself. i grew up in a culture that didn't accept brain disorders, but marginalized people who had them, and avoided understanding and acceptance. i did this to myself when i became severely disabled, having no skills to compensate, no understanding of what had happened to me, i just wished i was dead all the time.

that day is past, my friends are still gone, my family is still alienated, i still hold a grudge that all this happened to me. but gradually i am coming to terms with my life, letting go of old resentments, and fears, finding a lifestyle that is very minimal, and being OK with that. it's hard.

i hope you are fortunate enough to keep a few of the people who love you, for who you are, not for what you can do. and i hope you find a way to accept this new life as long as it lasts, better yet, find a way to overcome. life goes on, and bad things happen. remember to focus on the good.

best wishes~
Gus