[noxxie13]

Hi, I'm new here and so no judging!

I've always had a fear of, well, everything. I'm scared of men, open rooms, lifts, people, speaking, etc. But right now, it's getting to the point where I am scared to go outside, and it's not like there is a valid reason as to why I'm scared.. I just am.

Today for example, I went into town to buy some things for Valentine's Day. I get into town and end up freaking out. My heart started beating really quickly and I started getting warm and shaky. All I could think about was everyone else looking at me and judging me and being all nosey and judging.
I hid in the bathrooms in one of the shops and cried for 10 minutes before getting the courage to get out, and I ended up going home after being in town for just 30 minutes. Since town is about 5 minutes away on the bus, after an hour of being home, I calmed down, had something to eat and went back into town. I had some games I was going to trade in to the game store, and decided to go there first because I knew what I was doing (I'd traded plenty of games in there, and bought them and the staff know me).

That failed because I forgot my ID. I panicked again and went home.. again. Now I'm sat in my room crying, I texted my boyfriend who knows how silly I can be sometimes and he's going to come into town with me tomorrow. He's one of the only people (besides my mum) who can take me places and keep me from panicking over nothing.

But anyway, I feel so dependant on him and feel sorry for him if I'm being honest. When I'm not with him, I stress out, panic and just get down so much more easily compared to when I am with him. My worst fear is being too clingy or overly-dependant, so I don't know what to do!

I had a psych-assessment last week, but the psychiatrist said I was fine and just being a teenager (I'm 16, almost 17). But she barley heard me out and I think she might have been wrong. Surely every teenager in the world, doesn't get scared when out in town for no reason at all. I hardly even got to tell her about me panicking or worrying so much, and instead she simply asked about my sleep, appetite and if I had any friends. She took a family history, and asked how my boyfriend and I were getting on, and that was about it.

So basically, what is wrong with me? I'm not looking for some diagnosis, but I need some advice on how to cope and gain some independence back..

Oh my, sorry it's so long.. I understand those who don't read it but it would be very useful and appreciated if you could read at least some and offer your advice.

Thank you!

[winter4me]

This is not "just being a teenager", your anxiety is severe, what you describe are panic attacks, and the beginnings of agoraphobia (being afraid to go out of doors)--there are non-medical and medical ways to approach this problem. Non-medical would be learning mindfulness exercises, deep breathing techniques, relaxation (at first you would practice these at home until you are able to feel the relaxation, and then begin to use the techniques in public); exercise can also help quite a bit (running, aerobics, yoga to name a few---even if you make a habit of running around the block--or some small area, several times a day). Also, stay away from all recreational drugs, and alcohol. Medications that help, along with talk therapy, can be discussed with your primary care provider, or a psychiatrist (know you saw one without results), a Psychiatric ARNP (advanced registered nurse practitioner, who can counsel and, if needed, prescribe). I think it is important you follow up by speaking with a counselor (whether it be a MSW, psychologist, or a different psychiatrist) so that your anxiety does not control your life. Some people find using "soothing kits" helpful (items you carry in your pocket that help you to calm down)---Since you are able to do things with your bf, chances are good that you will respond well to therapy. You can get some great support, and information right here on PC--WELCOME! ---my own difficulties with anxiety, and other issues, began as a teen. I think this is common, you are changing, your brain is still developing, but you are also approaching a time of independence, and need to be able to know that you Can take care of yourself. Do keep going out in spite of the anxiety, if you have to come home, that is ok; just don't let it rule you, and know that, although you may feel you are not functioning, and that everyone can see, in reality, you Are functioning, just under stress, and usually others cannot see this...((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))

[noxxie13]

Originally Posted by winter4me

This is not "just being a teenager", your anxiety is severe, what you describe are panic attacks, and the beginnings of agoraphobia (being afraid to go out of doors)--there are non-medical and medical ways to approach this problem. Non-medical would be learning mindfulness exercises, deep breathing techniques, relaxation (at first you would practice these at home until you are able to feel the relaxation, and then begin to use the techniques in public); exercise can also help quite a bit (running, aerobics, yoga to name a few---even if you make a habit of running around the block--or some small area, several times a day). Also, stay away from all recreational drugs, and alcohol. Medications that help, along with talk therapy, can be discussed with your primary care provider, or a psychiatrist (know you saw one without results), a Psychiatric ARNP (advanced registered nurse practitioner, who can counsel and, if needed, prescribe). I think it is important you follow up by speaking with a counselor (whether it be a MSW, psychologist, or a different psychiatrist) so that your anxiety does not control your life. Some people find using "soothing kits" helpful (items you carry in your pocket that help you to calm down)---Since you are able to do things with your bf, chances are good that you will respond well to therapy. You can get some great support, and information right here on PC--WELCOME! ---my own difficulties with anxiety, and other issues, began as a teen. I think this is common, you are changing, your brain is still developing, but you are also approaching a time of independence, and need to be able to know that you Can take care of yourself. Do keep going out in spite of the anxiety, if you have to come home, that is ok; just don't let it rule you, and know that, although you may feel you are not functioning, and that everyone can see, in reality, you Are functioning, just under stress, and usually others cannot see this...((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))

Thanks for your reply. My therapist isn't too helpful either, though I will mention it to her and maybe stress how much it's affecting me. If that doesn't work or I don't think she's being very helpful, should I maybe go to my GP?

Also, I would do things such as exercise but I have a problem with going out even when no one is around. There is a field which is almost always empty near my house, which is ideal for running on and I have done once, but I am too scared now. I worry about running into someone (excuse the accidental pun), or even something more serious like getting raped or assaulted (it's an overgrown field so I guess it's a little more dangerous). I can't run through my village because I get nervous and worried just walking through there, so running wouldn't be good. I'm also self-concious about my looks so I'd constantly be thinking about what other people were thinking.

So yeah, should I talk this through with my GP or leave it with my therapist?

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Looks like the early days of a pretty nasty anxiety disorder. Your therapist is clueless for the simple reason that your life, judging by what you've typed, is disordered as a result of your blatant anxiety. Try again, with someone who knows what they're on about. I might be a lot less messed up if my old child psychiatrist knew what the hell he was doing. ¬_¬ You don't wanna live your life angry at the idiot who didn't bother to pay attention, so make yourself heard! You're struggling, and you'll be damned if you'll let people write it off as teenager bullcrap. I've had OCD since I was a little boy, and anxiety issues since something like 12 - nobody bothered to get me the right help; they all thought I was just being a typical kid, then later it became a typical teenager, and here I am, 27, "disabled". Sorry to be all depressing, I just don't like the idea of someone being ignored like that. Maybe there's nothing wrong with you, aside from a mad 5 minutes, but I'm far from convinced that's the case. I think the earlier you catch these things, the better the chances you have of getting past it, or at least, learning how to cope, before it tears you to pieces as an adult. Good luck, OP.

[winter4me]

Do talk with your GP. With anyone you think may help. Don't let it go.
Maybe, for now, you could dance to music and stretch in your room---or find someone to walk with/run with. Do try to push beyond the self-consciousness and fear and get out to exercise (maybe a bicycle) even if it is just a short walk a few times a day, anything at all is better than letting the fear trap you inside. Z is right, the sooner the better, and don't settle for those who don't understand. (((((()))))))) You can get through this, it won't be easy, or quick, but you have already clearly identified the problem. Let us know how it goes.