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#1
Feb 10, 2014, 09:06 PM
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Does anyone else have this fear? It's like I will actively try to keep good things from happening to me, and if I realize that something is going well or that I am happy it causes me to start having panic attacks because I believe that something catastrophic will happen.
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 AutumnOwl
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#2
Feb 10, 2014, 09:28 PM
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Quote:
 (no i'm not scared of happiness, i'm just incapable). |
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#3
Feb 11, 2014, 10:41 PM
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Over the years, I've had something along those lines, yeah. You don't want to get your hopes up. "Don't count your chickens before they've hatched". After a while of being let down, you tend to get used to it. I think I'm better at it, now, but it's not always like that. There are times when I'll be really happy, then suddenly it drops down to my thinking all sorts of depressing, morbid things. It's like I won't let myself just be happy. Then again, I probably feel that I don't deserve to be happy.
__________________
{ Kein Teufel }
Translation: Not a devil [ `id -u` -eq 0 ] || exit 1 |
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#4
Feb 11, 2014, 10:53 PM
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I think that all the time. A good friend once mentioned (gently) that it feels like I do that. One piece of advice I got recently was do not go chasing "what ifs" even though you know I do every time. The past few weeks have been so awful. I try to stay positive but it is so hard. You are not the only one.
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#5
Feb 11, 2014, 11:15 PM
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Quote:
And I just heard on CD 2 of Peter Levines audio book Healing Trauma that this is very common. When we are traumatised any excitement can overstimulate us. Thats the cause of the panic attacks. Its physiological. It is not psychological. Its not self-sabotage or feeling unworthy of happiness or all those clichés. It os what a traumatised persona body does when it feels strong feelings, even positive feelings. Im in the sane boat. Ive begun doing David Berceli TRE, and wow. I feel pretty great. But I still have PTSD. I get a little too social, or relax and dance a little, or engage with others a little too deeply, and there is rebound. Once I am alone I get a little manic. Sometimes I drink. I feel ashamed and impossible. I shut down. This is how trauma keeps us flat and unengaged. It sucks. I have hope that Bercelis TRE and Levine's Somatic Experiencing can heal it. Its working fine so far. I encourage you to read the books and give the exercises a cautious whirl. We deserve to be able to experience .ce joy without dread. May we heal that much.. |
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