[veronicamarie]

Well I guess I'm disspointed in a few things I wish I found someone going thro exactly what I am I know a lot of people have bad anexity like me but the fears aren't the same like my anexity is bad its always been it was a struggle to work to do anything hanging with friends going to the mall but I still had days when I was ok and I could do these things with barely any anexity feeling but three months ago I started havin panic attacks everyday at work and had to stop working so I was home all day everyday then developed agoraphobia which now leaving my house is torture because I get anexity attacks not just anexity but attacks being in a car being anywhere other then my home and btw the past three years of me having anexity I never once seeked help for it ever never only because I knew doctors would give me medication and I don't want that espcially since before I was addicted to pills so me taking pills again wouldn't be a good thing and anyways my anexity I need to be completely sober if I feel a little anything I start havin an attack well my anexity started because I was scared to become crazy you know crazy like people in crazy houses not normal anymore ones that kill people to if I feel anexity and I'm in my kitchen and see a knife ill get anexity and start thinking what if I grab that knife and stab someone I would NEVER do that but I'm putting things in my head and getting freaked out by it because what if I did that what if I was crazy I don't think I'm actually crazy but I'm scared to death to become crazy like what if I start banging my head against walls that's crazy stuff I would never do it but in my head its always what if I did so it just makes my heart race and a lot of times I'm traped in my head that's how I feel traped in my head with all these fears and over the years its like anything triggers this feeling not even crazy thoughts being in crowed areas I feel anexity being in a traveling car and even sometimes just being at a red light going to the cornor store what do I expect to live in my house everyday forever and never experience going anywhere I just can't put that torturest thought of havin an attack on myself i know how I will feel so I don't want to put myself thro it so instead ill stay home that's my mind set I'm surprised I'm not extremly depresssed right now I guess this post is more of a rant then actually looking for advice because I've had a lot of advice and good ones and still never did anything that nd plus I don't really have anyone in my life really pushing me to do it I'm sad I'm an adult I feel like I need to be more responsible I need to be proactive and I just can't push myself this is not me my fantasy is just to go for a long car ride and be ok I use to enjoy just driving around or even go to the cornor store or shopping the nail salon or even going for a walk those are the best fantasys and thinking ill never experience it is heart wrenching and when someone comes no beach no nothin no camping omg I love camping idk what to do just live in my room

[Mustkeepjob32]

Now that you are having the panic attacks in addition to just regular anxiety, you should probably address this with your counselor or pdoc.

[live2ski66]

Hello,
Sometimes I open my big mouth, but it is for a reason.

Well I guess I'm disspointed in a few things I wish I found someone going thro exactly what I am I know a lot of people have bad anexity like me but the fears aren't the same like my anexity is bad its

It would be nice to have someone who experiences what we do, but I would say it is nearly impossible. Even if you had a twin which would give you the best chance, it is still a far shot. Describing how mental health affects you is going to be different than how I describe the problem. And, if you go to the same PDoc he might offer a third opinion or tell you that on a basic level you and I have the same problem.

You say you would rather not take meds. That is a decision you and your doc will need to make. Make sure you tell him you've abused pills before. There are many ways they can dispense the meds. So if the doc recommends medication, take it. He is the expert in the field. You are the expert on you. It is your responsibility to be as honest as possible with the Doc and communicate any fears and concerns.

Finally, I wouldn't say you will never experience going to the salon, the corner store. If I were a betting woman, I would bet that you are wrong and that you will experience life.

The first step as others and myself have said is to find a doctor who can assess all of you and come up with a plan of action.

Good luck, we are here if you want to chat.

Originally Posted by veronicamarie

always been it was a struggle to work to do anything hanging with friends going to the mall but I still had days when I was ok and I could do these things with barely any anexity feeling but three months ago I started havin panic attacks everyday at work and had to stop working so I was home all day everyday then developed agoraphobia which now leaving my house is torture because I get anexity attacks not just anexity but attacks being in a car being anywhere other then my home and btw the past three years of me having anexity I never once seeked help for it ever never only because I knew doctors would give me medication and I don't want that espcially since before I was addicted to pills so me taking pills again wouldn't be a good thing and anyways my anexity I need to be completely sober if I feel a little anything I start havin an attack well my anexity started because I was scared to become crazy you know crazy like people in crazy houses not normal anymore ones that kill people to if I feel anexity and I'm in my kitchen and see a knife ill get anexity and start thinking what if I grab that knife and stab someone I would NEVER do that but I'm putting things in my head and getting freaked out by it because what if I did that what if I was crazy I don't think I'm actually crazy but I'm scared to death to become crazy like what if I start banging my head against walls that's crazy stuff I would never do it but in my head its always what if I did so it just makes my heart race and a lot of times I'm traped in my head that's how I feel traped in my head with all these fears and over the years its like anything triggers this feeling not even crazy thoughts being in crowed areas I feel anexity being in a traveling car and even sometimes just being at a red light going to the cornor store what do I expect to live in my house everyday forever and never experience going anywhere I just can't put that torturest thought of havin an attack on myself i know how I will feel so I don't want to put myself thro it so instead ill stay home that's my mind set I'm surprised I'm not extremly depresssed right now I guess this post is more of a rant then actually looking for advice because I've had a lot of advice and good ones and still never did anything that nd plus I don't really have anyone in my life really pushing me to do it I'm sad I'm an adult I feel like I need to be more responsible I need to be proactive and I just can't push myself this is not me my fantasy is just to go for a long car ride and be ok I use to enjoy just driving around or even go to the cornor store or shopping the nail salon or even going for a walk those are the best fantasys and thinking ill never experience it is heart wrenching and when someone comes no beach no nothin no camping omg I love camping idk what to do just live in my room