[mugenishere]

I have noticed this strange behavior in myself. It came to light during some discussion with my therapist when I was discussing about my social phobia. Can someone please tell me whether there is any term for this behavior?

Basically it's about "forgetting the context". What happens is lets say I'm interacting with someone and they say something which sounds harsh but actually it's not harsh based on the context at that time. I don't feel hurt that time. However, after a few days when I remember that incident I remember it a little differently - I've forgotten the context in which he was speaking but remember the harsh words. And that starts hurting me. This happens when there is someone habitually speaks in a harsh tone and in general behaves harshly with me over a couple of days. Let me explain with an example.

Let's say that my boss is speaking harshly to me (out of habit) and I know that something has happened in the project and he's worried about it. So when I hear his harsh words and his manner of interacting I know that he's reacting to what happened in the project. This goes on over a few days. And then suddenly one day I remember all these scoldings and I feel wronged/insulted/mistreated. I no more remember the context of his speech but only the harsh words. And it all just adds up into a big ball of pain.

After a period of a few days if I try to work on the CBT stuff (my therapist has been helping me with) then suddenly I realize hey maybe this is what happened.

Does anyone have any idea about what is going on here? This "Forgetting the context" thing that I do - is there any term for this?

[kaliope]

that's interesting. haven't heard of it before. not sure that it would have a term. think the focus would be more on the words triggering your emotional reactivity. Your t wasn't able to explain? welcome to psych central. you will find that we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[Kaboodle]

Sorry this has happened to you.

I don't know that there's a name for the delayed reaction that you described but it sounds like you ARE being hurt regardless of the context and it's building up over time. You stated that your boss speaks to you "harshly, out of habit."

Harsh words are harsh words and they DO hurt no matter what the context if you are in the line of fire. You've become sensitized to the harshness.

My husband is a Type A personality and sometimes lashes at me when, say we're doing a home improvement project and things don't go just right. He always says, I wasn't yelling at you or that's just how I am. That doesn't excuse it and it does hurt. It's a like a sonic boom. You just absorb the fall-out from it. If you are sensitive like I am, it hurts down deep and it builds up over time until you feel like you need a good cry. I am also discussing this with my therapist among other things.

Welcome to PC. I hope you find the support you need here.

[BLUEDOVE]

I wonder if you are the same as I used to be,in that,
I used to NOT WANT TO HEAR CRITICISM OR
PUT DOWNS,so I would physically go or turn around away from person so as not to hear. Problem
was, only when I WAS AWAY and on my own,I
would realize I HAD HEARD THEM!
My diagnoses of that now,is,if I didn't hear them
(at the time) then I would not have to CONFRONT
THEM, which I was very afraid to do.
If you think this is why you do this,I strongly suggest you get some books on ASSERTIVENESS
and SELF-ESTEEM. When I look back,I can see
I was in a living hell.
Courage To You,
BLUEDOVE

[not quite right]

If I had to venture a guess it sounds like dissasociation with the tone changing during a onset of recurrent memory manipulation. It seems like the tone is most likely hurtful so you pull out of the conversation, but when you look back at it you're realizing it was meant towards you in an ill context. & dissasociating is the way you handle seemingly abusive situations.
I have some issues with dissasociating & during my absence I have said or done things I have no memory of at all. I have quit my job twice & threatened to remove my managers eye with a teaspoon, just as example. While I can't help but find it slightly amusing it's also frightening. Not sure if that helped but welcome to pc where we've done, said & heard it all. Come without fear or embarrassment. We understand.