[Rio_]

That's something I often worry about - whether I'm doing or saying something just to get attention. I know it's a bad thing, but isn't everything we do that involves other people attention seeking in some way? Talking on here, we're trying to get other people to reply, to give us attention. When we start a conversation, or make a phone call, we're doing the same thing. Everybody does those sorts of things. So how can they be bad?

I'm guessing there's some acceptable attention-seeking behaviour and some that isn't tolerated...but where do you draw the line? I don't know, and it confuses me. I don't want to be attention-seeking, I don't want to assume that other people want me there, or to speak to me - they probably don't.

(Sorry, hope I'm making sense here.)

[ickydog2006]

all I can say is ditto. Been feeling the same way lately.

[complic8d]

You make perfect sense to me! I know that I get this horrible aching that means I want attention. I don't know how to ask, or what to ask for though. Or, what is the "correct" amount.
HUGS!

[Boopers]

Hi Rio,
Yes, what you say, makes sense. I'm not sure though what kind of attention you are talking about that you wonder if it's wrong.
I guess that would be for each individual to judge for themselves whether they are doing something wrong for attention.
Anyways, I wish you all the best.
Take care,
Linda

[Rio_]

((ickydog)) Good to know I'm not alone...but sorry you've been feeling the same way. Hope you feel better soon!

[Rio_]

((complic8d)) Thanks. I don't know what the "correct" amount of attention is either...I feel it's wrong and rude of me to want any at all. But if it is rude, then why does everyone want it? We all need attention, don't we?

[Rio_]

Thanks, Boopers. It started off with me worrying about the attention I get here - I don't think I deserve it - but turned into attention in general. People judging themselves whether they're doing something wrong to get attention would be best, I agree...I think my idea of something wrong must be a little warped, though.

[jacq10]

(((Rio))) You make complete sense to me. I often worry alot about that myself ... but i guess we just have to realise that yes it is normal for other people to call us, or to talk to us .. so we have to believe that we're not just begging for attention when we do the same thing - as hard as that is. Hope you are feeling better.

Rio,

This sounds like a new awareness for you. I think it is something for you to think more about. It sounds like you are identifying some behaviors as possibly attention-seeking and wondering if you are getting what you want and need. Good things to think about!

ECHOES
<---attention seeker!! lol

[Fuzzybear]

I've been thinking about this lately too. I get the gnawing ache inside which means I need something.... attention? Love? Something else? And what someone said about everyone needing attention and how all interactions are about people giving each other attention is so true. What is ok and what isn't. What is frowned on and what isn't. It all confuses me....

[Rhapsody]

I understand what YOU are saying.... and quite frankly it was a little bit of a shock to me to have read this thread right after having been told some thing by another person about this very theory - it was like dejavu - yikeeees.

AND - YES.... I agree that we talk and mingle with other people on a certain level for attention, but not as to say HEY LOOK AT ME - but rather to say HEY, I NEED HELP!!! - CAN YOU HELP ME!!!

Hang in there.......


LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

[Rio_]

(((jacq10))) Thanks. I'm amazed there are so many other people who worry about the same thing...I was thinking I was alone in this. That's a very good point, thanks! I'll have to try and remember that next time I start feeling this way.

[Rio_]

Thanks, Echoes. I don't think it's a new awareness - I remember getting myself worked up like this before - but I'm not like this all the time. These thoughts can come quite suddenly - this time it started off with a simple "they don't want to hear me complaining" - and sometimes they can be hard to shake off. I managed to convince myself that I don't deserve to be around people yesterday, and I can't even remember how I did it! I don't think my thoughts like me.

[Rio_]

Thanks for replying, Fuzzybear. It confuses me as well.

[Rio_]

(((Rhapsody))) Thanks. Like I said to jacq10, I'm amazed how many people there that worry about the same thing...and I'm relieved I'm not the only one. I felt like I was going nuts.

[anxietychick59]

Happy Holidays, Rio,

I know the feeling-I've done that all my life-behaved inappropriately/stupidly & that gets me the WRONG KIND OF ATTENTION!

Realize people know you are there; I'm working on that solution!

Have you tried meditation, etc. to ease your anxiety?

AC <font color="purple"> </font>

[Numbers]

Your question realy got me thinking... good question!
The only answer I could come up with is this.
It's ok to seek attention as long as you also provide attention. If we seek help we come across as attention-seeking, but not realy if we also try to help others. I think that's why posting here isn't a bad way of seeking attention, because we also give attention to others.

[Rio_]

Thanks, anxietychick. The things I'm worried about, though, are things like starting/joining conversations, or asking for/getting help - most people don't seem to have a problem with those, which would suggest that they're normal, so I don't know why I sometimes feel so bad for doing them myself. Good luck with working on your anxiety! I haven't tried meditation, but I did try a relaxation exercise that someone suggested here a while back and it helped a bit.

[Rio_]

That's a very good point, Is_this_the_right_place, thanks!

[Annieluv]

I kind of understand your feeling. It's what I've been thinking too...

[Rio_]

Thanks, Annieluv, I'm glad you understand. Sorry you've been thinking the same way, hope this thread helped a little!