Social Problems

Hi, I don't really know where to start, but hey I joined this group to talk about my problems so I'll give it a try.
One of my biggest problems is being out in public. I absolutely hate it. No matter where I go, whether its shopping or having lunch in a restaurant, I feel I'm either being stared at or totally ignored. This stems from the fact that I'm in a wheelchair.
I've had family members tell me that I'm just imagining this, but I'm not stupid. I know when people stare or look away and pretend not to see me. This makes me feel lower than low. To make it even worse I often try to imagine what they are thinking & I always imagine the worst. It's like one problem leads to another & then another & then another. They just all pile up on me.
I don't want to be a social recluse but I can see that's where I'm headed. I sit home alot not because I'm afraid to go out but because I'm ashamed to. I'm ashamed of my disability. Now I feel like a hypocrite because just today I told someone to never be ashamed of their disability... Maybe I was just trying to encourage myself.

I can see how that would be frustrating. I imagine some people wonder why you are in a wheelchair but think it rude to ask, which it would be plus it is none of their business anyway.

Perhaps work on developing friendships with a few people.

I've seen a few disabled people who are the first ones to reach out to others. They smile, make small talk, crack a joke, keep candy and give it away - things like that - to combat this issue. It is sort of like beating someone to the punch but in a nice way. Anyway, it is an admirable approach and appears to be fairly effective. I tend to forget the person had a handicap when I an engaged with them in conversation or a laugh.

The "all" of you is not disabled. Use what you have to your advantage. A lovely personality goes a long way to combat any disability.

Thanks Guys, I appreciate your imput.

I think it makes a lot of people uncomfortable, like they don't know how to act about it for some reason... my brother is in a wheelchair (also mentally disabled) so I have had to deal with the staring/avoiding/acting uncomfortable thing myself my whole life growing up. It contributed a lot to my social anxiety I think but that is another story. Anyways I know it is very different than your situation and not saying I completely understand how you feel, but I know how it goes having people act like that...

If you notice someone avoiding looking at you while passing you on the street or someone staring at you maybe say "hello!" and give them a big smile Kids especially seem to do the staring thing because they don't understand it at all... sometimes I like to start talking to them about it if them seem like they're really interested. One kid was like "how does he sleep in bed??" and further talking to him indicated he was under the impression my brother was like connected to his wheelchair and the kid was thinking of it like part of his body

There's one guy in my neighborhood who rolls through the streets in his electric wheel-chair and is a cool motherf*cker. If anyone is at all wondering how they should react to him being disabled or whatever he instantly disarms these thoughts by just starting a conversation and cracking jokes. Not saying you have to be extrovert of the year but once you engage them I think people quickly realize that it's not something they have to be act weird about.

I don't know if any of this helps but take care man... I am pretty reclusive and I can tell you from experience that it ****ing sucks and I wouldn't recommend it. Regardless of how much I can relate to the other stuff I can definitely tell you that from iron-clad, firsthand experience

Thank You Nowheretohide,
I hope your brother is doing well & my heart goes out to him. That was a great post and it really made me feel better.
-Tim-

read this tim
Paralysed man Darek Fidyka walks again after treatment by British doctors on brink of 'cure' for paralysis

Paralysed man Darek Fidyka walks again after treatment by British doctors on brink of 'cure' for paralysis - Health News - Health & Families - The Independent