[Ali831]

I've dealt with social anxiety since kindergarten (i'm starting my third year of college) and I've noticed I have more of an issue with trusting people than I initially thought. When people smile at me, I'm convinced their smile is not genuine and they're just doing it because they have to, because they don't want to seem foolish. When I'm speaking with someone, i'm constantly focused on their expressions, eye movements, tone of voice, looking for indicators of them lying to me. Most of the time i believe they're lying to me. Perhaps this is also an issue of hypersensitivity, I can't be sure. But when someone says "that's a great idea" or something similar to me, i'm assured by my brain that they're just agreeing with me to appease me. Everyone always says trust everyone until they give you a reason not to trust them, but I believe that inane; i prefer to trust no one until they give me a reason to trust them, which never happens so I suppose a more appropriate saying would be "Trust No one".

I feel as if i'm struggling against every person I've ever dealt with in my life; i consider their successes a failure within myself. I have the ability to feel happy for people, and i do in certain situations, but not often. If i do feel a genuine sense of happiness, i'll turn inward and chastise myself for the goals i didn't reach. I used to think my social anxieties were just something that was there, but the further I go in life the more i'm convinced i'm entirely incapable of trusting that some people do want to be around me or that not everyone is a liar, or that not everyone is succeeding in their life just to rub it in my face. It makes it even harder to talk to people because i'm so focused on them and their judgement of me.
I just can't ever be close to anyone the way they think they can be close to me.
Does anyone else relate?

[Crazy Hitch]

I just wanted to give you a quick response and say I'm sorry to read that you're struggling with this as I believe that this has been quite challenging for you and I think that the cause may (or may not) be deeply rooted if you're having significant trust issues with others.

Thank you for sharing this with us.

My wish for you is that people experiencing this type of anxiety can come forward and offer you some suggestions that they have personally used to slowly help them overcome this.

There is always hope and change can be just around the corner. You matter to us so please let us know how you go

[wa(o)rrior]

Dear friend

I can very well understand what you are going thru. It's purely hell! mind always finding motives behind every person's action. I would suggest you try mindfulness as it trains you to be aware of every moment without any judgement. it might help you to let go of this trust issues.

[StormCat42]

I'm sitting here in tears because I could have written your post for you! I feel exactly the same way!! When ever anyone speaks to me, I wonder about their motive... Someone tells me good job, I'm wondering where the knife is that's waiting for my back... I hear someone leaving my cubicle and whisper something about "she" and I wonder what I've done... I hate it... I have a best friend who I've known for 14 years, and it wasn't until just the last 4 or 5 that I've truly begun to trust her and everything she says... (MY fault, not hers! She's been honest through everything!)

Trust issues? OH yea, I got 'em... And I know the sources for them... The question is, in this world of "dog eat dog" attitudes, and everyone worrying about themselves first, how do you get past it? I've been alone for 10 years because I can't bear the idea of even trying to trust someone on a first date... How do you start? Where does the "start" come from?

Inquiring minds want to know...