Advice on how to meet people when you have social anxiety?

I've found it's been harder and harder to meet new people as I get older (I'm 29) anyway, especially since I'm on disability and don't have a job. But my social anxiety just makes it worse. It's hard for me to be around a lot of people in general or crowded areas, let alone a lot of brand new people I don't know.

The year before last I actually went on some blind dates and stuff and was doing kind've good but now that I've really been in a black hole of depression for the past several months, I've found that my anxiety has zero tolerance what so ever and even going to the grocery store has become a nightmare.

I have no friends and pretty much spend all my time alone in my room. Despite my social anxiety, I'm a really social person and DO enjoy being around people. Does anyone have any advice or experience with meeting new people and making friends while dealing with social anxiety?

I'm in similar shoes to you, unfortunately. Almost the same as what you've typed, actually. Back when I was really social and went out a lot, it all happened from one person to the next, ... so like, I met one, then from that person another, and from those people other people, and so on. I was gaining friends each time; that meant more excuses to go out. Granted, I had to do some serious grade A pushing, but I managed it. I struggled at times (was SHing, on meds, and had panic attacks, back then, but to others, I may have looked sort-of OK)

Nowadays, it's not just a case of only anxiety, it's more than that; I don't know where to begin explaining that. Stuff happened, I went a little doolaalaa, but haven't been the same since.

In the UK, we have organisations (free) that deal with this sort of thing, ... you should see what there is in your area. Support groups, social get-togethers, ... whatever you can find. It WILL be scary, you WILL freak out, ... but if you stick at it, you might find you start to enjoy it, and that you ease up a little. Won't blame you if the prospect of that freaks you out and you bail, though, ... it's tough to get that ball rolling. It took me a long time to get the courage just to go to an OCD support group. Heck, it takes a bit of balls to get to the Tesco 10 minutes walk away, these days.

I'm 27, by the way. Beleef me, you ain't alone.

Hey I fit y'all's shoes as well. I use to be more social when I was younger (I'm 33 now) and had only a few friends in my neighborhood, but as I got older I got more isolated from the world because we lived in the rural area and didn't have neighbors to socialize with. Like you I just stayed in my room and talked on the phone chatline, and from there I became severely anti-social.

I was thinking of joining a local support group to get out of my comfort zone, but since we lost our car I couldn't work up the nerve to catch a city bus, but I do believe it will help once a person can get over that HUGE initial hump in the road.

Also I was thinking of just volunteering at a local thrift store, the library, or my child's school for an hour per week at first, then work my way up to more time; but hmmm,.. didn't follow through yet.

Stuff like that is hard for me to do because I don't have a vehicle and there's no public transportation where I live :/ If I could find something and figure out a way to get my parents to take me or whatever, tho, I'd probably try it out just to see anyway.

Things were so much easier when we were in school :/ LOL.

I know the others have hinted at this, Wolfheart, but attending support groups are a great way to meet others like ourselves. When I lived in California, my therapist suggested I attend a support group, therapy group for 6 weeks. I met one friend during that time and we are still friends. Unfortunately, I moved to another state and now I have to start all over again!

I also isolate because of my social anxiety. Sometimes isolating can make anxiety worse. We are social animals.

I don't have a car either so it's the city bus for me. Taking the bus itself is hard. Always worry I will get lost or something else would go wrong. I'm also embarassed that I don't have a car.

You can type "meet up and the name of your city" in google and there may be a social anixety group in your area to go to, it may take a lot of courage to get on the bus (try distracting yourself like with a book or something).

Remember baby steps and exposure therapy.

Hugs to you.

I attended a meet-once-a-week depression group at my church for awhile last year. However, I found it really hard to relate to any of them because they were all several years older than me and everyone was married and had kids - and the only other woman who wasn't, was divorced.

For me is easier tell people that I can't see how I feel than see them face to face because I am always worried about what are they thinking of me.

They may be local enough to get there by bus. Luckily, there's a few around here, within bus distance. Good idea about getting someone to give you a lift.

If we were even remotely near each other, I'd be happy to meet you! Alas, ... we aren't. |:

Take care.

I hope you find somebody. But your still young yet.