[zulphur21]

Hi everyone,

I signed up mainly because I'm seeking help for my problems right now. I am a 20 year old college student, and the last time I received professional help and medication from a psychiatrist was 4 years ago. I don't know how to categorize it but it's a mixture of depression and anxiety. I am generally an anxious person but lately I've noticed that it's becoming way overboard. There's the little things like constantly asking the same thing over and over to confirm if a certain plan is still set, or feeling a little paranoid that there is someone or something else in the room when I'm alone. Then there's the bigger things like the constant fear that I am never going to see my loved ones again, that I'm going to die, or that something terrible is just around the corner. The worst is the false feeling that everyone is out to get me or that everyone has an evil agenda against me. I believe my separation anxiety has stemmed from my boyfriend, whom I love and has been a huge help to me. The thing is I depend on him too much for emotional support. I've been dating him for a year now, and I notice I am clingy and I like to be babied by him. I constantly ask him if I'm going to see him the next day and get upset and angry if I don't hear from him or if plans change. I should also add that we are in a long distance relationship and I only see him for the holidays, and that my relationship with my family and the emotional support I get from them is fairly poor. I get depressed because I have this strong hatred and disgust for myself. I have self harmed in the past and lately I've had the urge to do so again. I wouldn't say I'm too depressed because I still have the drive to do well in school and have high hopes for my career. I excel in all my classes and love to do well in them, though I can't help but think it's because I want to prove something to myself. I don't know what to do with myself right now...if someone could just help me figure out why I feel this way, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you

[glok]

Welcome to the Community, zulphur21.

Anxiety, Panic and Phobia Center - Psych Central

I wish you well.

[Marg5]

You seem to lack confidence in yourself and feel threatened. Why do you feel so insecure? Is it because you failed in the past at something? Everyone 'fails' at something at some point in their life. You should not be so dependent on one person. I know it is difficult because if there is no one else it makes you increasingly dependent on the one person in your life. Look back and think of all your achievements. You are a survivor. Take a deep breath and tell yourself how capable you are. Try to find other people to meet, join something - it will be better for your health than being alone. I know it is easier said than done. Best Wishes.

[truebliever]

Hi Zulphur21.First I'm proud you,look how much you've done with going to school and wanting for your career.Sounds like you are on over load.I understand about the fear,and getting anxious.Please stop wanting to hurt yourself.I try to write on days I feel like you do and look back and realize I didn't die on those times I felt like I was going to,and I'm talking about way back in jan.As for the boyfriend,if you only seeing him on holidays,and he says you are needy,then you to think serious who is most important his feelings or yours.Honey its yours.Take care

Welcome to PC and i hope you find the support you need

[summerblueskies]

Hi zulphur21 I can sympathize because I am a 21 year old college student, I am soon to be in long distance relationship, and I have anxiety too. It sounds like you have already begun seeking help for yourself which is an important step. Wishing you luck with everything!