[faeyt]

Hi, I'm new to this forum but I legitimately don't have anyone else to talk to. I've had a friend, one of my best friends for a long time. She knows I've always had feeling for her and at a time she liked me back, but we never dated. She was in a long term relationship and it was kind of manageable for me, but now that she's single I've been getting panic attacks wondering if she's with someone else, or meeting other people romantically. It's reasonable, but there's no actual proof. I really want to be friends with her but the panic attacks every night are brutal. And the only way to stop them is to constantly question her who she's with, but she could easily be lying - not to mention it's completely unfair to her.
I just texted her saying that we shouldn't be friends anymore because it's not fair to her and it hurts me, but I don't want her giving up her freedom just because I'm crazy. But she was my last friend - I don't really have anyone else, so the loneliness and not being around or talking to the person I have separation anxiety to is only going to make things worse for a while until they get better...if they even do.

What should I even do in this situation? I'm so lost it's ridiculous...

[Travelinglady]

Hi, fayet! Are there places you can go where you can meet some new friends?

I am thinking part of you did want to have a more-than-friend relationship with this person, given your concern about her dating others.

[Raghib Ahmed]

Hello mate.

First of all, I want to let you know that, regardless of how you might feel, you aren't alone . There are lots of people out there, just like you, who want to talk to you, and be your friend, because you're awesome.

Onto the matter at hand. Have you tried to sit down and talk to her about this? I don't recommend breaking off a friendship, or any kind of relationship, through a text, but I can understand that it must be pretty agonising and scary for you, and you felt you had no alternative.

It seems like you want to be more than friends with her. Have you tried to talk to her about that? Have you asked her out or anything like that when she became single?
Talk to her about your feelings. Since she's your friend, try to talk to her and get her to understand your situation. Tell her about your feelings, and your anxiety.

At least she'll understand your situation a bit better and will understand why you might want to break off the friendship. Or who knows, she might even reciprocate your feelings. But you won't know until you try.

But I don't know enough about the situation, so sorry if all this way off.

Regardless of the situation though, since she's your friend, just try to talk to her about what you're going through.