So I quit my job today. A "good" job or so everyone has told me. It paid well that's the way I saw it. I worked with a bunch of back stabbing, over bearing women who didn't understand me and began to notice my bipolar. I'm in the accounting field and it's difficult to find a job in it. I was going through a temp agency and that temp agency sucked in general but when I had the interview it was all about how I'd be working with the accounting programs and blah but when I got into it I realized it had nothing to do with accounting. I became the ***** of the accounts receivables office and then to top it off I got in trouble for nothing. I took my shoes off once and one of the back stabbers told me that it was a bad idea and I would get into trouble so I took that as a she cared. But then yesterday my boss and her boss took me a side and said that the woman in question had been saying she had told me a lot as well as other people. That's a load of bull ***** if I don't mind saying. My bosses also told me that I needed to know the information already for sending invoices via email and shouldn't be asking questions because if they were gone who would I turn too. Well there you go. I ask questions while you're there and then I won't have any problem when you're gone. I don't understand. Over the last week I've gotten anxiety just being there because the two bosses have acted like they don't like me at all and it seems like they were making excuses to try and get me to leave. I know I'm a paranoid person and I always think people don't like me but it seems to have been shown. I'm a nice person, I care about other people. Even people I don't know and yet I seem to care to much. I don't know how to turn of my paranoia and my visits for therapy and my psych are up so I'm screwed there. What the hell is wrong with me? If I get the feeling that my job isn't worth is when I have the education it's annoying. Plus they hired three other people to do the work they said I would be doing. It makes no sense. And in order to get into the building you have to have a badge and they gave everyone one but me. Even the newer people. It's like they had this planned the whole time. I know I should have battled it. I know it would've been better for me to fight my demons but my anxiety and depression has been really bad since my birthday (last week). I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm screwed and have no one to help me.

[kaliope]

the way I look at it, sometimes you have to choose peace of mind over fighting it because you just aren't at that point of healthy yet. sure you could struggle and struggle to fight those demons and be miserable or you could quit and find something that is easier on your mental health. I worked very hard to get into grad school last year. it was a struggle with the interview and all but I was very happy and everybody was proud of me when I got in. I was doing very well but my anxiety was horrible, just horrible. I was miserable. grad school was going to take 5 years. I was constantly worrying how I was going to make it 5 years feeling that way. so I dropped out.i just couldn't bring myself to face that even though I thought I may be able to get better in therapy. I couldn't even stand it another sememster. so I support your choice. you have to do what works for you now. take care.

[HolisticGal]

@Zpe - I too work in a very similar field and I know first hand how the interview may not match up to the actual work you do. And that is not paranoia you are feeling - don't let people make you think you're being "crazy" etc - we just have a 6th sense where we can pick up on the vibes from the office politics a lot quicker. And let's face it - especially in Accounting where it's female dominated - you're going to have deal with jealousy, attitude, cross-cultural miscommunications, nepotism, along with the usual power struggle issues. That's a WHOLE lot to deal with 10-12 hours a day (and yes they expect you to LIVE there in that horrid environment). I've had to quit jobs for the same reason with relatives not understanding my decision but I picked myself right back up and got myself back in the field using what I learned from my last position. Don't let them run you over!! Be strong!!