[linoleumbob]

Hey everyone, I'm new to this site. I was stumbling across the internet, trying to find someone to talk to, and I found this. I'm scared to sound like a whiny teenage girl here, but here goes.

I've recently been noticing weird habits that I have, and beyond that, disturbing..visuals that pop into my head. I've had them for about 2 years, but until recently, I didn't think anything about it. The habits are very number-oriented, usually with me clicking my nails a certain amount of times until it feels right, or biting away the inside of my mouth in a pattern.

The worst part, however, is these..visions. It's really starting to distract from my schoolwork, and even my social life. They usually deal with terrible things, with lots of blood, and often sexual acts. Example...in class yesterday, I suddenly had a vision of myself slitting my arms wide open and smearing the blood all over the class walls. The most disturbing part is that in many of these, I'm killing people.

You have to understand, this isn't a cry for help. My main goal here is to get an opinion on whether or not I should seek some sort of help, or if I should wait. I'm...unbelievably scared to talk to my parents about it. I don't think they would understand. I've tried off handedly telling them about some of my number obsessions, but so far they've only laughed. My mom told me that I've always had them, and she used to get mad at me because I wouldn't stop doing them, particularly on stage when I was acting.

So...thank you, and if you need more descriptions on my "condition", just ask. It feels nice to have somewhere to vent. Opinions on what the hell is wrong with me would be appreciated.

Hi linoleumbob, and Welcome to PC! This is a great place. One of the few sites where 'forum' really means 'forum'. I love it here.

You ask about seeking help... or waiting... waiting for ..?

Because you are uncomfortable with your thoughts and habits, I think you'd feel much better to have someone professional to talk to about those things. Disturging and intrusinve thoughts are... disturbing and intrusive and there's things to learn about them and how you feel about having them.

Instead of looking at what you do as something that needs attention, when talking to your parents stress how you feel about what's happening and that you want to feel better about yourself. Be very sincere and direct rather than off-hand, so they understand that this affects you very much and you want to seek relief, much as you would want to seek relief for a broken arm.

Some people go to therapy just to learn about themselves They may not have thoughts or habits that bother them, they just want to understand themselves better. So, even if a person doesn't have what some might consider a 'major' problem or issue to deal with, they can still benefit from learning abut themselves in therapy.

Here's a site I like that you might find helpful along with the kind and caring relies you'll receive here. www.guidetopsychology.com. Great Q&A section.

Good luck to you in your search for relief!

[sabby]

Welcome to PC linolembob!

I agree with ECHOES, if this is bothering you to the point you are questioning it, then talking with a professional might be just what you need.

I know it's hard to talk to the parental units sometimes, but again ECHOES was spot on in how to approach them. We parents don't ever want to think of our kids having issues, so sometimes we need to have things explained in order for us to really understand when something is distressing our kids.

I wish you well. I hope you find the answers you need and some comfort along the way.

Hugsssss
J