[CrystalSteph]

I let fear get in the way of doing the things I have to do. I don't know if it's because I was raised by two protective parents who always restricted me from what's out there but I feel as if I am behind. My parents didn't exactly teach me to do things I would do as an adult. My dad would do everything for me, not because I wanted him to but because he felt the need to like if he was the brain of the house and also didn't want me to grow.

I am now 23 years old and my husband has been the one who pushes me out there.

There is a particular fear that I am currently dealing with and MUST overcome. It's driving. My husband taught me how to drive about a year and half now. I have drove by myself nearly less than six times. I am starting school next year and will possibly have to drive by myself and probably have to take the highway.

I feel that I know how to drive but I get soo nervous that I allow myself to make mistakes. I fear it so bad, I fear hurting someone else and myself. I fear that I am on the road and no one knows that I am still learning. It hurts me because I know a few people who are 16-20 and they know and have that fire to drive, they actually want to do it.

But, like many things in life I let fear get in the way.

[CrystalSteph]

My boyfriend tells me I don't have that fire in me to live like other people. I wish I did at times. I know it's there, it's just hidden..protectively waiting to burn out. I know young women my age who do things happily and excited. In contrast to me, I am usually first afraid then happy..

[Little Lulu]

Driving is a common fear for people with anxiety. I struggle with it from time-to-time, especially when in a new environment. Here is how I handle it. Go out driving with someone (like your husband) when traffic is low and now in a non-busy area. Do this regularly. Then go out driving alone in a low traffic area for a brief time with your cell phone so you can call if you get anxious (you probably won't need it but have it handy). Gradually extend the time, distance, and complexity of your driving. You especially want to drive to the school you plan to attend before it starts.

Most important, when you get home, take a moment to give yourself praise for you efforts and successes.

You may always have issues with this to some degree. That's OK ... everybody is dealing with something.

[Blue_Bird]

I agree with Little Lulu. I have an extreme fear of driving. I'm 20 and only have my permit but I hope to work on that soon. You'll get there, someday you'll get in your car and start enjoying driving. Maybe reward yourself for every time you drive somewhere

[CrystalSteph]

Thank you for replying!

It's funny how rewarding myself was mentioned (my husband told me to do the same), I realized that when I finish even if I do it perfectly fine I am upset with myself for feeling nervous/anxious to begin with. I take this to the head because it's not the only thing I let fear interfere with, it happens with almost everything. Especially when it comes to trying something new or anything outside my comfort zone. And I feel as if by now I should be past that stage. I don't want to be a woman who fears.

[Shriveled Muse]

I agree with Little Lulu as well. I am also afraid of driving and having an experienced driver by my side does help. Once you get used to driving, it won't seem as scary anymore. When I go to try something new, I tend to prefer to do it alone so that people won't judge, but that may be just me.
Good luck!

[Little Lulu]

Originally Posted by CrystalSteph

Thank you for replying!

It's funny how rewarding myself was mentioned (my husband told me to do the same), I realized that when I finish even if I do it perfectly fine I am upset with myself for feeling nervous/anxious to begin with. I take this to the head because it's not the only thing I let fear interfere with, it happens with almost everything. Especially when it comes to trying something new or anything outside my comfort zone. And I feel as if by now I should be past that stage. I don't want to be a woman who fears.

When you figure out not to have fears, let all of us here on PC know!! BTW, I drove today on the interstate to an area I generally don't go .... a very busy area ... and had some anxiety but I got through it. I think I will give myself some kudos for getting the job done!

(((CrystalSteph)))

[Hellion]

I don't know, if you really had a choice in the matter currently would you really be choosing for it to get in your way? I just feeling by saying you're letting fear get in the way it puts some blame on you which I don't think is necessary. If you are unable to control anxiety on your own maybe meds would be an option, however with the driving thing you'd want to discuss that with the doctor since some meds might impair driving...but it depends on the person most meds say not to operate machinery or drive till you know how it effects you. But aside from that maybe going to therapy or trying to learn some coping techniques to calm yourself when the anxiety starts would be another idea.

I am 25 and still have a permit, haven't driven in a long time but I'd know how if its automatic and not manual...but I am afraid my anxiety/ptsd and autism related sensory and processing issues could make it dangerous so kinda stuck taking the bus and getting rides from people...wouldn't be able to afford a car or gas anyways though. If nothing else is there public transportation you could take to get to school and back home?...didn't really sound like it since you mention having to take the high way.

But I hope you are able to get through this and be able to drive with minimal distress.

[Gakkari]

I too was immensely scared to drive, i waited until the last possible moment to learn to drive, and by that time i had already started college. I was afraid because I didn't trust myself behind the wheel, but the more i drove the more i got used to it and started to feel more comfortable with driving. However I have had a recent scare with driving again, where I nearly hit a pedestrian, it's safe to say i had a mini panic attack. But I took it as a lesson to make sure I never make the same mistake again, and I will continue to try to improve my driving skills and my awareness on the street. I hope you and I can both improve our problems when it comes to driving!

[Softballjunkie8]

I totally understand your fear of driving. I actually drove fine up until about 21. I had a panic attack while driving and cut off driving for 2 months. I then had obligations (like school and picking up my husband from work.) I started by driving down the road and then back. When I felt comfortable with that I would go a little farther in places I deemed "safe". After a while I was back to driving all alone!! I have had a relapse due to added stress and a close family member being ill but I know I can do it so it makes the situation easier.
Never compare yourself to others...it only makes you feel worse about yourself. I use to do it all the time. I have a friend who drives 4 hours by herself to see her mother. I ALWAYS would compare myself to her and it just made me feel horrible!
Good luck on your driving! It might seem hard but trust me with work it gets a lot easier!!

[ChildlikeEmpress]

I'm 37 and still terrified to drive. You are not alone -- actually it's great that you at least have your license, so that if you get into a situation where you have to drive, you can even if it's scary.
I don't really know how to get over this :/ I've been pestered by people all my life about it.
I hope you'll be able to get used to driving to school, maybe it will get easier the more you do it. At least it will be one familiar route.

[lilypup]

I am 55 and drove fine all over for many years. Suddenly I developed a phobia. I was afraid of getting hit by someone turning left on a yellow light. So I didn't like to go through intersections. My pdoc put me on Lexapro and it cured it.

[damaged92]

i have the problem where i love driving, am actually a decent driver (according to my instructor and family) but soon as i try to do my driving test i go to pieces! its the most annoying thing in the world ! i don't have any advice to offer as i am still trying to work out how to calm the driving nerves down, but hope you find a solution soon !

[Pink3032]

Dont feel bad im 31and dont drive.The reason behind it is fear but im gonna get back out there.i refuse to let fear take my life.

[CrystalSteph]

Thank you so much for replying everyone!
I had forgotten the website's url so excuse my late response. It is a relief to see so many people can relate! I feel as if I am not alone in this. I do think fear as a lot to do with it, as well as over thinking. I tend to think negatively before I even start to drive which adds a lot of pressure to myself. I constantly repeat and think, "what if I crash, what if I hurt someone, what if I get stuck".. instead of thinking, "I will be cautious, I will enjoy this etc etc".

I drove some more yesterday and I have improved a lot, even in parking!
I know I can drive and I've learned when you let your fear get in the way you can loose knowledge even of something you're capable of doing.

I wish you all safety,health and luck in any decisions and over coming fears

[lauralost]

Hey, congrats on driving! I am 23 too, but still haven't learned how to drive. Mainly, because I didn't had any money or time to learn, but I am also afraid of it so much, I even had nightmares about it. Typical ones, like the wheel is too big and I can't see out of the car, crazy traffic.
But this summer my fiancé bought our first car and I accompanied him nearly on all occasions when he had to drive somewhere. There were some "hiccups"... but he got better quite fast and this is affecting me too in a positive way. I still can't relax completely, but three weeks ago I had my first non-scary dream about driving. Guess this means I am slowly dealing with this problem. So, there is hope.
No one starts out as a perfect driver, we all have to learn. At least people like us who are so anxious will be much more careful and never drive recklessly. That's a good thing.

[CrystalSteph]

Laura, congrats and hope you continue to overcome this as well!
You're right about no one starting off as a perfect driver, I've realized some people learn faster than others and while others actually want to drive..and then there's us, those who want to drive but are afraid