Absolute Worst Fear

My absolute worst fear is that when I get older and have kids and a family of my own, I will still be this broken. Just on this website alone I've seen lots of adults with children they are hiding mental illnesses/self harm with and that makes me terrified. How am I supposed to be a supporter of my own family when I can barely manage myself? Its terrifying.

For me, my mental health, stopped me from having children. However, I'm happily married. I feel, I can barely take care of myself, & becoming a mom terrified me & is just not in the cards for me. Perhaps, if I had managed my mental health better, perhaps, things would have been different for me. Who knows.
Remember, even though you may feel broken, you are not. You are just sick & need help. Please don't compare your situation with others here. You have a choice. A choice to find answers for yourself. Don't give up. Your life is not my life choices. Your life is your own. Know I care about you. Keep talking, asking, posting, replying, & sharing. Active participation in learning about your mental health works.
*big warm friendship hug*

You have no idea how much better that made me feel. Thank you, truly.

I made a personal decision to never have kids or get married. This isn't directly related to my mental health, but what I want my lifestyle to be in the future. Just make some kind of pact or promise to yourself that you'll only have kids, or get married, when you're happy and healthy. That's what everyone should do anyway.
My mom was depressed and actually drank wine while she was pregnant with me - why she chose to get pregnant in the first place when she wasn't happy, is a mystery.

My kids are suffering because of my mental illness no matter how much I try to hide it, it just never helps

I'm terribly sorry, I apologize if this post offended you.

I knew it wasn't the right thing for me, so I never had kids. I am sad that it wasn't in the cards, but it just really wasn't. It would have been horrible for them and for me. I agree that you should keep posting and reading. It's been very helpful for me to be here too.

I am married and my husband is wonderful and supportive, but we don't have kids yet. I'm beginning to wonder if I even want to... I'm afraid I won't be able to pull it together and take care of them as well as I should, but even more than that, I worry that I'll pass on my mental health problems to them genetically. I don't want them to experience this.

Exactly what I feel like. Im so sorry.

I was married and had kids before I figured out I have a mental illness. It has definitely been a struggle, but for me personally, my kids are a big reason I still get up off my ***** and try to function on a daily basis. I know I need to strive for mental health for me and not anyone else, but having little ones rely on me really helps keep things in perspective.

That being said, I do worry about passing on my crazy to them, but I honestly am afraid of who/where I'd be without them in my life.

Dear nutty, if fear is the reason you decided not to have a family, I would seek counseling before completely rejecting the idea. My husband & I decided not to have a family and are now retired. We had full lives during our working careers. Now my parents are gone, no siblings; a couple nephews and cousins. I do appreciate the family we have, but not the same as your own. Remember, for every action or non-action, there is an outcome. I wish you a good life.

The consequencies of childlessness are very real but it's something that must be done for the right reasons. Not knowing whether you'll be good at it or able to cope is another matter. Most people don't know but obviously their desires tends to outweigh any fear and they proceed hoping for the best.

I think women have a right to choose - not having kids isn't the end of the world these days, we're not lesser human beings for having found other purposes in life. We're not here solely to recreate.

I hope you find peace with whatever decision you make.