[Bipolartist]

So, yesterday somehow I warded off my anxiety and constant worries. I kept telling myself, "Not today! The worries don't help anything and there's always tomorrow." Well, today, the fears and worries and anxiety came back double. Or so I think. Maybe any anxiety always feels like the worse.

I think I might have exhausted myself yesterday, keeping all those worries at bay and basically fighting with my brain all day.

I am having some serious conflicts with a few people, mainly because I've decided to stand up for myself, for once in a very long time. I've always thought any conflict will result in someone trying to come and kill me.

Last night I had terrible nightmares about these 2 people whom I foresee terrible conflicts with. They are triggering me big time, but no worse than actually trying to hang out with them and pretend everything is OK. I'm trying to be proactive and look out for myself.

Some people have no respect for my illness and I want to stop being with negative people who trigger me. So, I'm sure my dreams could be seriously analyzed.

I had to stay home from work today and I'm trying not to let this anxiety paralyze me. I took a walk and had a conversation with a neighbor. That helped some. I think if I keep myself busy, it will help, but just getting up off the couch is such a chore.

[bluekoi]

Bipolartist, Good for you for taking a stand against anxiety! You should allow yourself to be proud that you accomplished this. Even one day makes a huge difference. You just proved to yourself that you can do it, even though it was hard! Unfortunately we all have negative people in our lives. Keep them at arm's length and don't allow them the opportunity to trigger you. Keeping busy is smart!

[Bipolartist]

Thank you, bluekoi! No one else responded, so that was making me paranoid. Just reading your words makes me feel better. I was on again, off again all day. I worked and kept my anxiety away, then went out to dinner and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I got real paranoid and worried. But now that I'm home, I'm proud of myself for not just sitting here. Although I that's what I really wanted to do. Tomorrow should be good, it's my Friday!!! Off on Friday to take a rest.

[bluekoi]

Bipolartist, I understand how you feel. I suffer from anxiety also. Over time I've gotten a lot better and sometimes feel almost normal! I'm very happy to have been helpful!