[Zen888]

Hi

I know someone who has (in my mind) extreme OCD when it comes to keeping the home in order and clean, controling those around them...etc. How do I not let this person's behavior (which I think is extreme and unnecessary) not anger me or saden me? This person is very nice but the OCD part of this person is very disruptive to my friendship with them.

[prettyjolie]

I know how you feel.. my mom has OCD (in my mind, as well.. she hasn't been diagnosed by a doctor) and she appears to be bipolar and she has a lot of psychological problems like depression..
I don't know that you can really do anything to keep it from angering you or making you sad.. i, too, feel bad for my mom and she does make me sooo mad sometimes. She makes me do crazy things to clean and well, it's not fun to live with.

But I love her to death, she is my mother. I think the only thing we can do is be there for her/him and accept them as they are.

[untold27]

I think what you need to keep in mind while you are around them is that they are probably more frustrated inside than they might make you. So trying to maintain your anger and frustration is really important. If you get upset with them it is more proned to make them more frustrated because they feel as though you don't understand.. and in all honesty, unless you are OCD you probably don't understand all that they feel.

Just try to be there for them and show your support and understandment. Patience is key.

[Gaston]

Well, I may be able to give you an "idea" of what OCD is like.

Imagine if a loved one was on an airplane that crashed, and the news said that 50% of the passengers had died. Imagine what you would feel if you tried to resist the urge to find out if your loved one was among that 50% or not.

Or, imagine that you had a loved one going on a plane ride, but you had this overbearing feeling that if you didn't do something that your anxiety was telling you to do such as avoiding stepping on cracks, or checking the locks on your doors over and over again, or washing your hands, that the plane would crash. Even though you know there is no correlation and no possible way that stepping on cracks would have anything to do with a plane crashing, your mind won't let you shake the feeling that you just have to complete the "ritual" in order to ease the anxiety, and to be sure everything is "right" or "ok".

I have OCD, so I can understand how frustrated this person must feel. I am, however, pretty good at hiding my symptoms from people, so most don't really get to "see" the OCD side of me, even though I have told them about it.

The best thing you could do for your friend is to see to it that he finds some sort of help. A therapist, or even some of the good books out there that teach self-help methods of beating OCD. And also, be patient, if he does have OCD, then he is going through a very tormenting time in his life, one that is not easy to live with.

[Maven]

I understand that living with or dealing with a person with severe OCD can be frustrating and difficult, but when you let the anger slip, even if you say you're sorry, it can worsen the person with OCD, because it adds to his/her self-esteem issues, which most, if not all, of us have. We feel like a burden as it is, like we should be able to stop the way we act, stop doing the things we do, and control ourselves. When we aren't successful in doing that--especially when people don't believe you've tried--it hurts us more.

While I generally think it's better to be straight with people and tell them what you think, in cases like this, it might be better to tell your frustrations to someone else who doesn't have OCD, someone the OC won't likely come in contact with, or even knows. Not because you should talk behind people's backs, but because you need to vent, too...but you don't want to make the OC feel s/he can't trust you, and you don't want to tell someone who will tell someone else, even if that person won't come in contact with the OC. It's a matter of privacy and respect for people to keep your confidentiality.