[maddnessreturns]

I'm not sure this is the right spot or not. So I apologize in advance.

My fiancé has been diagnosed with ADD for a while. He used to take Adderall but doesn't anymore because it made his anxiety/paranoia worse. Right now I'm concerned over his anxiety and paranoia even while he isn't on it.

Examples: It can be me taking our dog to the park or being in a crowded store. But he is always planning how he would handle it if something happened. Like the dog thing he is worried someone will attack our dog or that his leash will break and get hit by traffic. We can't go to crowded places because he is always on guard.

This was worse immedietly after the military but got better. Then after moving recently to a big city it is much worse.

I want him to go see a psych to at least talk it out to decide what to do or if meds are appropriate. He is afraid of going because of what the diagnosis will be and just wants to see a GP about the ADD and nothing else.

Does anyone have any advice on this? Should I continue to try to get him to go to an appt or just leave it be? Is this GAD or something else because I'm not even sure right now. But it scares me sometimes.

[avlady]

i don't know if i have it either, i don't even know what it is, but i don't think, in my opinion, that worrying about taking the dog for walk and losing his leash is a bad thing. i hate walkig my dog, he runs ahead of me chasing squirrels, barks alot and is just a major pain in the *****. i am not a dog or animal person, i do love cats although. i do have a beagle, very hard to take care of i sometimes don't feel like i have the energy to let him out every 1 minutes. he's worryig that you'r dog wont get hurt by a car too, whars wrong with that? I think may i should be treated forADD too. you never know, i have everything else over the years why not something else?

[maddnessreturns]

If I could delete this i would.

I guess I thought since it got in the way of our life and it keeps him up at night it was an issue. ... Guess not.

[eskielover]

Anything that gets in the way of your life together IS A PROBLEM!!!!

I can also tell you from personal experience that things like that don't get better over time....they only wear on the relationship & end up making it worse.

While saying that, I also don't believe that there is anything that YOU can personally do other than encourage him to get professional help & to take the meds that do help.

I was in a marriage with a guy who had serious problems....I saw the red flags before I got married but chose to ignore them thinking as others that he would mature (grow up) as the years went by......

He was actually Dx'ed with adult ADD....but pdoc said there was something else going on.....I have since discovered what that something else is & it goes with ADD quite often.....but after 25 years of living with him....I started getting more & more angry at his behaviors & by the time it hit 33 years.....I had already attempted suicide so many times as there was no other way for me to escape the marriage....I didn't understand this was what was happening at that time either....thought it was JUST the loss of my career....but after leaving him finally 7 years ago....I am finally able to start putting the pieces together & understanding why the marriage failed so miserably & why his behavior was such a serious problem.

If there are problems you are having & he's not getting the help that he really needs....I would definitely NOT get married unless things bet better resolved. Don't jump into something that will end up making you so very miserable over the years.....it only builds up, it doesn't get better without professional help....& even then sometimes change isn't possible depending on what other underlying problems they REALLY have.

[Forever hopeful]

Hi madness , You said those are examples of some of the issues. So I will take it as it is more areas as well that it affects. If it is interfering or obviously a concern I would get him to take a few online anxiety test. If he can answer them honestly while it's not a diagnose it would be something you could print to bring to a GP. I found most of the anxiety/ panic test ect online to be pretty accurate suggestions in my case.

Also want to point out you mention he is afraid to go see a pysch due to a possible diagnosis so he is aware something is off but doesn't want a label placed on what it could be. I used to suffer bad agoraphobia is not really a big big issue anymore still affects my life somewhat in certain areas. Some of the examples you mentioned just reminded of the agoraphobic behaviours I developed starting with little things like being vigilant in malls, than progressed I am not saying he has that. Whatever if anything should be checked. If he is suffering with something best to try nip it in the butt getting help with anything at all in life. Is always best to do so earlier than later..

[winter4me]

Originally Posted by maddnessreturns

I'm not sure this is the right spot or not. So I apologize in advance.

My fiancé has been diagnosed with ADD for a while. He used to take Adderall but doesn't anymore because it made his anxiety/paranoia worse. Right now I'm concerned over his anxiety and paranoia even while he isn't on it.

Examples: It can be me taking our dog to the park or being in a crowded store. But he is always planning how he would handle it if something happened. Like the dog thing he is worried someone will attack our dog or that his leash will break and get hit by traffic. We can't go to crowded places because he is always on guard.

This was worse immedietly after the military but got better. Then after moving recently to a big city it is much worse.

I want him to go see a psych to at least talk it out to decide what to do or if meds are appropriate. He is afraid of going because of what the diagnosis will be and just wants to see a GP about the ADD and nothing else.

Does anyone have any advice on this? Should I continue to try to get him to go to an appt or just leave it be? Is this GAD or something else because I'm not even sure right now. But it scares me sometimes.

I think you should continue to encourage him---this is not just ADD & he is probably uneasy because he realizes that. It can be hard to let someone else "look"---a diagnosis can, at least give him (this is what it did for me anyway) a place to start---he could sit down afterwards, do his own on line research, talk to others (you mentioned military...) and decide if this fits (whatever it is) and to what extent, then he can take control of his own treatment/interventions. If he is really unwilling, maybe he would (just for fun...& relaxation) do some yoga/meditation/relaxation, even just regular sweat it up exercise as these are things helpful in general to decrease anxiety & increase focus...
take care and let us know how it goes.