[Hopeful4Change]

Hi everyone,

I have an intense fear of pregnancy and birth, though I very much want a child. I'm getting to an age where it's now or probably never. Has anybody else been through this? Was there anything you found helpful?

[Raging Quiet]

Hello, I hear you! Currently 30 weeks pregnant. Terrified each day and of everything and very worried about birth.

Have seen a t since the beginning weekly and speak to my midwife often.

CBT has been helpful and taking baby steps.

I find settling weekly goals beneficial and the support from other pregnant women or groups. I've been told Labour is normal and you get through it in the end with a beautiful result, there are billions of positive labour stories out there

I wish you all the best.

[Blue Fish]

I'm terrified and also at an age where it's pretty much now or never. I can't really help just wanted to let you know you aren't alone in your fears

[A18793715]

You're so not alone. I cry because I have the same intense fear.

[Hopeful4Change]

Thanks guys.

I first talked to an OB GYN about it a year ago. His response was less than ideal. A little dismissive, a little judgmental ("Women have been having babies for thousands of years"). He did say that I could have a c-section if I wanted, which I think I would basically have to do since most of my fear is about labor.

I also went for therapy for several months. I can't say it helped. Now I'm just stuck. We have thought about adoption, and that may be the road we take. It's hard, though, and expensive.

[A18793715]

One of my main fears is needles going into my back. I would have a heart attack if I ever needed a spinal tap. I'm absolutely terrified of needles going into my back.

Unless a doctor is willing to put me to sleep (yes I know that could be very bad for the baby) to give me a c section, I really highly doubt I could do it.

[Hopeful4Change]

Ah, I understand. I am so sorry about the fear of needles.

I actually had a spinal tap when I was 19. I don't know if hearing my experience will make you feel better or worse. First, the pain was minimal. It really did not hurt much at all. However, it took a very long time for them to find the right "spot", so they had to stick me a lot of times. Still, it didn't hurt really.

I'm not so much afraid of the needles, but given this past experience, I'm afraid they won't be able to get a spinal or epidural right and I'll still be in pain. The pain of labor is what scares me, or especially the pain of a c-section if the spinal is not working.

[Love&Toil]

Hypnobirthing is excellent for women who are afraid of childbirth. Birthing From Within (look up the website or book online) also has many exercises for women who are afraid of childbirth. Be well.

[A18793715]

My fear of needles going into my back is that something will go wrong and it'll cause like nerve pain that can never be fixed or paralyzation. I know it's not common, but I always come to the worst case and get fixated on that and can't shake it.

As my thoughts on hypnobirthing, I almost can guarantee that wouldn't work for me. Having bad panic disorder on top of schizophrenia, just. Makes life really hard. I had a therapist once who tried hypnotherapy on me but even to this day, I can't do anything that involves keeping my eyes closed (if I could sleep with my eyes open, I would.) without starting to panic in less than 2 seconds because I can't see who or what's happening around me

But with me having treatment resistant schizophrenia on top of bad panic disorder, I don't want to risk passing it onto my child. It breaks my heart, but it would break my heart a billion times more to have my child go through the same fight I have to on a daily basis to survive.

[TCFlecke]

My recommendation would be to talk to someone you love or trust or somebody that has given birth before. (Your biological mother would eb the best bet.)
Best Wishes,

-Tyler

[BatsAndButterflies]

Honestly, I am absolutely terrified of ever being pregnant. The idea has freaked me out my entire life. The very thought makes me want to curl up into a ball. SO, I just decided that I am going to adopt. They will be my children and I will love them just as much as I would love anything that could come out of this weirdo body of mine.