So anxious.

I am in the midst of what I believe to be a major depression. I have been for years. I'm never happy. I have a whole host of problems beginning with my appearance and trickling down to every aspect of my life. I am so anxious anytime I have to do something involving people. I'm constantly afraid I'll say something supremely embarrassing or that people will see my for the weird, reclusive, socially stunted woman I am. I'm afraid to go to work because I dread confrontation and it is typical in this type of job. I don't date, I don't have any friends, and I can't talk to my, very narcissistic, relatives. I'm in my early twenties and I feel like my life is over. I hate this. I want to scream, cry, whatever it takes to feel better. Help please.

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time with anxiety/depression. You didn't say if you were in treatment at this time, if you are not in treatment I would highly recommend it. You shouldn't have to live with this alone. There is help and hope. Things can get better.

(((((ForevahAlone))))))))

You're very hard on yourself (some of the "labels" you use about yourself. You mention you have Narcissistic relatives. It's obvious to me you're intelligent and none of those things your Narcissistic relatives maybe want you to feel. I suggest that you research Narcissism. Please keep posting, many here will understand you