hyper aware of my existence

i have extreme pure O ocd all my life. 8 months ago i went through a really stressful and obsessional period of my life that i had no idea would change my life forever. it all resulted in PTSD and then Depersonalization disorder. two weeks ago i was in the shower and had this sudden and intense realization of my own existence within the universe. But it goes farther than just that, life itself, existing in general freaks me out. Being alive freaks me out. Im overly aware of my own existence and my consciousness... i look around and can barely even look at things because everything just seems so surreal and insane that we are here on this planet and that we are alive being able to perceive and interact with things. Its like I'm FEELING reality itself... reality itself scares me. How are we even IN reality.. I'm obsessing and obsessing over existential things to the point where i feel like i can't return to normal.. i feel like I've opened this window in my consciousness that cannot be closed. I just dont understand how we came from nothing and now we are here. Its like i just look around at reality and I'm terrified of it. I feel like an alien among people, how come people dont ever stop and think to themselves... what the hell are we doing here.. how am i able to do these things how am i IN a reality... i feel lost and i feel scared... but most of all i feel hopeless. I miss my old life so much I've became depressed and everything seems boring and pointless. I question human anatomy constantly and how it all works so i can't even connect with people on an emotional bases. I look at things i used to think looked beautiful and it doesnt anymore... its all just products of the universe and existence.. which I'm terrified and bored of. Please help me.

Traumatic events can certainly leave one questioning everything. Does your therapist have a plan with your treatment?