[jaymoq]

I am feeling terribly anxious today. I was invited to attend a farewell get together for a friend of mine that is leaving for another exciting job opportunity. As a woman in my mid-twenties, I guess I should be excited. But, I am dreading it! I hate social situations, especially with strangers, and I also know that the main event will be some extreme binge drinking. I myself do not drink. I don't mind others that do, but it does make me uncomfortable if it is in excess. I have already heard several times they want to see "who pukes first". This is not something I want to do. But, I want to be there to support my friend! They are all meeting for dinner then moving on to a bar. I am just so anxious about how I can excuse myself after dinner. A lot of my anxiety surrounding the drinking is due to a past relationship where my ex would get drunk and then yell, break things, chase me around, etc. That relationship ended up quite physically abusive and I guess over time I got incredibly anxious whenever I saw anyone drinking because I imagined them turning in to this monster.

Soooo, I am just needing to vent my fears a little and hope I can get through the night. I have already dialed her number several times to cancel, but I don't want to be a flake. I just HATE HATE HATE social situations with a lot of new faces in a place I've never been. I assume a lot of y'all can commiserate? Hoping to utilize some of my coping mechanisms. And, to be realistic with my stress levels. If I'm not comfortable, I have already recited my excuse stories to leave. I hate that I can't be there for my friend or I can't be comfortable around this type of social situation. Especially since most of the peers my age engage in this type of activity regularly!

[kaliope]

i am the queen of bailing on invitations. so much so people do not invite me anywhere anymore. i am working on trying to go out more with people but this is just so traumatic for me. i even wrecked my car last week side swiping it across my friends car in my anxious attempt to leave as quickly as i could after going out to dinner with a friend last week. 2k worth of damage. i am working on going out at least once a week as a means of exposure therapy. so i went out for my car wreck dinner. then i went out wednesday for dinner. then out for frozen yogurt with coworkers thursday then thursday night i was invited to a big halloween bash and another coworker got all excited and was yeah we have to go and i immeidately had a panic attack at the thought and they were going on and on and i just put my hands up and was saying "stop". my one coworker knows about my anxiety but the other is new. i have no problem telling people about my anxiety and i let him know i am agoraphobic and the idea was too much for me to handle and this was something i could not consider at this time. my friends understand. if they dont understand, then i dont care. i dont want unsupportive people in my life. i will make honest attempts to go places if i want to support people, i will not put myself in uncomfortable positions, and if i get uncomfortable, i will remove myself from those situations. my mental health and taking care of me is what is most important. i have missed family members funeral, my son;s big events, important things, and i dont feel bad about it because i have to take care of me. if i go somewhere for the sake of someone else and i become a basket case, how good of a time is that person going to have if they have to take care of or worry about me?

[francisR]

Jaymoq

I would hate to be at a binge drinking session myself. Perhaps just being for the dinner and then coming up with an excuse for not going to the bar would be best. You could have some family member coming over to see you later on. Or a very important meeting to get to in the morning so that you would need not to have a hangover.

That most of your peers go in for this sort of thing does not mean that you have to. Perhaps more a one to one thing out for dinner or coffee or with a few close friends would work much better for you. Take care. I hope and pray this works out okay for you. Have a really great week. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis

[Potsy4]

Just go to the dinner and say your goodbyes .... They know you don't drink so it won't be fun for you. Take care of you!

[popuri88]

If I were you I would leave after dinner. And you don't have to feel bad for leaving, it has nothing to do with anxiety, but with the fact that going to a binge drinking when you don't drink is like going to a married couple meeting when you're single.

As for me, besides having anxiety, I'm very introverted and I really don't feel like going to most of the social meetings I'm invited to. People seem to care about attending to places a lot more than I do, and I honestly don't understand why it's so important to go out in weekends and do something every week. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with the thought that I won't be invited anymore and how hard I am making my own life, specially in the rare occasions I decide to attend to and end up hearing what people say about who is always missing social events.