Driving Anxiety - Any Tips?

Besides social anxiety (and agoraphobic tendencies) I have a serious driving anxiety. Losing control of a car is a recurring scenario of my nightmares. Even just driving up the street, even on a route I've traveled countless times before, I feel frequent bouts of anxiety and panic.

It contributes to my social anxiety, as when I do socialize with people and a situation comes up which might require me to drive, I have to find a way out of that situation. I'm always making excuses and trying to avoid the subject with people I don't know well. Sometimes, I try to explain and people don't get it, and instead give me the old "you just need to push yourself and face your fears!" line which isn't helpful and just makes me feel more alienated.

I resisted learning to drive, and only got my license just in time for college (I passed the driving test on the first try, by 1 point). I managed to drive to my first college for two years on a short route, and my second college for three years, which was a much longer route.

Generally it's easier for me if I get used to a route to drive with less anxiety, but if I have to go somewhere new, if there's road work, an accident, anything that disrupts the normal route and routine, then I'm in panic mode and can barely stand it.

Since finishing college, and losing my only offline job, a few years ago, I've rarely driven. I rely on family for rides and work online sporadically. I was pulled over years ago (on a false accusation) and that made everything much worse. My most recent driving experience was, in an attempt to force myself to get used to it again, driving my girlfriend to a movie, and I was so nervous and terrified that I broke out in hives that lasted for days.

Does anyone else suffer from this anxiety, and if so, how do you deal with it? Any advice is appreciated!

Not to the extent that you seem to, but I learned to drive late because a medical issue kept me from learning in high school. Actually, I passed my driver's test at 15, but then got sick and wasn't able to drive until I was about 19-20ish. Honestly, I hate the way people drive where I live. The difference between me and everyone else isn't that I'm a better driver, it's that I know I suck and try to find ways to minimize my time on the road.I still have days where I get anxious about driving because I have to go somewhere new or know I'm going to have to make left turns across traffic to get somewhere.

Music might be useful to you. I know for some people they look at music as a distraction, but I have this weird hyper-awareness of everything going on outside my car and it helps me to filter out the sounds so that I'm not constantly wanting to jump when I hear a car or motorcycle drawing up on my left. I don't know why, but I seem to have a thing about the left side of the car. (I was probably British in a past life.)

I find it helps to look up where I'm going online before I head that way. Google maps to get a look at what the street is like if you are able to. Plot alternate routes for in case the main one you see online is blocked off. If you need to go out to run errands, organize the places on your list so that you can make a circuit that will bring you closer to your back to your home so that you don't end up having to drive from one side of town to the other. Have as many errands as possible at one time so that you can get them done in one day and not have to feel anxious about going out multiple times during the week. Feel free to decline if anyone wants to hit a street that is not on the way to the places you need to go because you've already committed yourself to a route.

If you have a few days before you have to be somewhere, drive by when you have some spare time a day or two before so you can see if there's any construction and you can plan how you want to enter it. Maybe let someone else drive you over to the area you are going, and study the path that they take.

Also, leaving your house early so that you have the extra time to find a new route if there is an accident or construction also seems to help. Also, that gives you time to drive a bit slower so that you can keep more space between you and other cars so that if someone nearby gets into an accident you have more time to stop from adding to the mess. That way you don't feel the added pressure of anticipating being late on top of freaking out about how that could have been you in that car that's being scraped off the sidewalk.

Hi KQiao, thanks for your reply, and for your advice!

Music actually is a big help to me when I drive, though it really only works when I'm already in my minimally-anxious, driving-on-well-known-routes mode. It can really take the edge off of focusing so much on the driving itself (not that it makes me less careful, just less hyper-aware of each possible thing that could go wrong). It does become a distraction in stressful situations, though.

I love your idea of planning errands all in one day, and on a route that minimizes distance between yourself and the house! This is an excellent idea, I'll definitely keep this in mind the next time I find myself having to run a lot of errands at once.

Your advice about doing a "test run" of sorts is great too. Actually, it gave me an idea for a tweaked version. I'm much less nervous when there's no traffic, so perhaps driving ahead to a place late at night could be a good idea. I'm a night owl anyway, so perhaps, when possible, I should try and get in driving practice at night. Of course, driving at night has its own hazards, but my night vision isn't bad at all and other drivers/vehicles, more than anything, are what terrify me about driving, so the more I can drive and practice without anyone else around, the better, and thus the more likely I think I'd be to decrease my anxiety when I am around more traffic.

Actually, a few months ago I had to follow my girlfriend to a hospital in an area I'd never driven in before (another state, in fact) as she had to bring a car to her sister (who had taken her son to the ER, long story, but with a happy ending so no worries). I was terrified at suddenly having to drive, but the fact that I was able to follow my girlfriend who was driving the other car, and the fact that it was in the early hours of the morning with barely any other traffic, made the whole thing tolerable.

This is all great advice, thanks once again!

I have driving anxiety too, and I don't know how to solve...I don't drive since more than a year, that is probably the worst thing to do. Probably the best 'cure' is to drive...but till now I couldn't force myself Unfortunately I don't have useful advices...just wanted to share this.

No problem. I think driving over at night is a good idea if you aren't prone to getting turned around like me. I have no sense of direction, so once I'm in a building I completely lose track of where anything is. I tend to look for street signs since I'm not as good at orientating myself by landmarks. Driving somewhere new at night wouldn't work for me in spite of the fact that I, too, am a night owl. Doesn't sound like it would be a huge issue for you, so give it a try and let us know how it works for you.

Do you have a car? if not you will need to buy one. Get one you like - I like cars that don't look like cars.
Practice. Go out for drive in the early morning or late night to get the hang of it when the roads are empty
Join a recovery service: if it goes wrong they will take it to the mechanic and she will sort it out
Get a satnav so you won't get lost
Audio is most important part of any car - get a good one and you will be enticed into your car
Don't have a drink to steady your nerves
I am an anxious driver and have good reason to be - I have no coordination and am easily distracted - you canno tbe worse than me.

I don't know if this will help you, but I hope it does. I too was very afraid of driving for about 7 months after being a passenger involved in a car accident (this was back in the summer of 2005). I was seeing a therapist at the time who really helped me gradually become less and less afraid of driving again, and I'll tell you how she helped me.

She recommended a book called "Brain Lock" by Jeffrey M. Schwartz. It's written mainly for people with OCD, but can be helpful to anyone with "obsessive" thoughts about driving or any other situation. Reading this book and practicing its exercises over and over again helped me TREMENDOUSLY, and now I am driving like an old pro again. I would say it only took about 2-3 months to get back to where I am now, which isn't bad considering I had been driving for years.

Hope this helps you!!!

Because of my driving anxiety, I have never learned to drive. I cannot wrap my head around looking and concentrating on so many things at once. And I have no depth perception so have no idea (literally) when to stop, or brake or whatever.

My son is almost 18. And we have coped all these years. Thanks of course to my patient husband. It hasn't always been easy. Especially living in a country with little to no public transport.

I'm fine (for the most part) as a passenger. But there are certain people (my mother included), that I am terrified of driving with.

I have a fear of causing a wreck and killing someone and going to jail. That is my driving fear. Is it possible you can drive early in the morning before there is a lot of traffic? I have a fear of driving after noon time. Two weeks ago I guilt tripped my Dad into taking me to an afternoon appointment I could not miss. This appointment is only for the afternoon. I am also afraid to drive to new places. Last year I moved and I had to start learning my way around another town. One thing that helped me do that is the town I moved from would require an additional 14 minutes of driving. So I would rather drive to the new town. I'm slowly but surely learning my way around the new town. My doctor goes to both my old town & new town. I saw him in my new town and I was nervous going to a different part of the town I had never been in. I refuse to let anxiety keep me from driving. I do all my errands and doctor appointments in the morning. There is one appointment I have annually and they only do it in the afternoon.

When going to new places I always use my GPS on my iPhone.