Anxiety Daily Check-In Point #3

Didn't really sleep last night, my anxiety is there but quiet for now.

Got the exterior holiday decorations up. Now I'm done with it for the time being. I have some anxiety going but it's manageable.

anxiety free day so far

will probably get worse later.

for the last 3 mondays in a row, something's happened that's triggered a panic attack

still concerns me when monday rolls around- had some real nasty ones

Woke up very anxious, worrying about what ifs and why nots, but forced myself to go through the motions of the day and now I'm feeling pretty good. There's that creeping feeling though that anxiety is always around the corner.

I've had a headache all night. I didn't read much today, but I have been catching up on my shows. That's productive at least, right?

I'm not sure if it's the cause, but the Cogentin is seeming to work well on my anxiety. It has a sedating effect and has helped the akathisia. Now if only I could sleep properly.

Anxiety is already high this morning. Worry has me in bad place.

I woke up at 3:30PM today.

I need to start reading my self-help book more, but attention problems seem to like to stop me in my tracks when I do start reading. I'll have to follow my T's advice: "Break it down into sections and take breaks."

A family member of mine might have to be given a spinal procedure tomorrow. I said I would go with them to the appointment to see if they need the procedure done or not. I'm hoping it isn't anything serious.

Just a reminder to myself: I will get through this.

Saw my psychiatrist yesterday. He talked to me about going back to work. I can't do this. I've had over 30 jobs in 35 years. If I try to go back to work I will be cut off my disability. What happens when my work situation fails?

So much happened today, but we got nowhere. My family member was ordered to go to the ER, but when we arrived they refused to give my family member the appropriate test and procedure because the referring doctor didn't send in an order to the ER staff! They are being sent to another professional in the city and I can guarantee you that this professional will say the same exact thing that the other one said. Oh, well... Let's hope we get somewhere tomorrow.

Well, good week everybody. I came back. This month has been nice. I no longer have anxiety attacks or night terrors or palpitations, but my problem is that I had returned to my bad habits again, postergating things, bad diet (I swear that the fear of diabetes will make me change, but two weeks later I'm back to the sweets and since my mother go out of vacation, I had drunk nearly a litter of coke and empanadas in the morning).

I don't have terrors, I don't cry or crawl and even when my school failed me and couldn't get my aplication for the master degree, I only went down slowly a couple of days and returned back, but why I become this internet obsessed, lazy man? Why I do nothing or do things to seem to get another panic attack?

I will change, I hope can change even little by little from tomorrow onward. While writing this I'm not trembling, not crying, my stomach and mind feel fine, but I can feel this small tentacles of crawling through my arms and I wonder if I need this stress to function and I hope it is not.

See ya. Bless you.

Tell me, what wold be worst, when things go down. Continue as you are or go to work? Why would your psychiatrist encourage you to return to work if it causes you so much stress? Had he tell you her reasons?

Really anxious about my health right now. I keep getting a headache in the same spot among other things, but thinking about going to the hospital just feeds into my anxiety as well and I end up sitting here worrying and googling everything it might be rather than actually getting it checked out which may actually give me peace of mind. I've always had a feeling I'd get a terrible disease and die young from it which just makes all of this worse. Thoughts are all over the place, just really feeling terrible physically and mentally.

I know that feeling too well, and have been let down by a lot of physicians, so that doesn't help. Do you have a good primary care physician? I finally found a PCP with a heart and soul and its helped me immensely. My therapist recommended her and I have to drive an hour to see her, but it's worth it. Maybe you can find someone like that. It takes some searching and googling lots of reviews, but there are doctors out there who really care and really listen. I hope you find one.

Personally, I had that feeling you describe for years, and come to find out, I was right. Doctors, family, friends told me it was in my head, or things like the water from our well was causing my migraines, skin rashes, etc. Now, I'm learning that there is a whole lot more going on from congenital anomalies to chronic conditions. Not the best news, but when I got my first diagnosis, I was actually immensely relieved, of all things. Because finally I knew. It wasn't in my head. There's something to be said for getting answers, even if they can't fix you right away. Sometimes they can, though, too.

Also, googling symptoms is a huge anxiety trigger, because I swear it always brings you to something terrible like cancer. Example, I get terrible chest pains, so I googled and of course I'm coming up with heart failure, ect. Come to find out, I have costochondritis, which is basically just the cartilage between my ribs gets strained and causes pain. It hurts like crazy for a little while if I do strenuous exercise, but otherwise totally harmless. I was so relieved to go to the doctor for that one.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I hope you can find a good doctor who you can be comfortable with and who will really listen to you, so you can figure out what's going on. Best of luck.

Your symptoms sound so similar to mine, Pandora. I also get that in my chest, extreme tightness in my sternum and a burning sensation between my ribs that is only relieved by stretching until my sternum pops, I have to pop it like ten times a day. My left shoulder pops and cracks from a workout injury too and looking up what it might be almost always brings up surgery, which I just can't pay for right now.

I have a lot of old sports injuries that I never addressed and it feels as if it's all came back to effect me since I turned 30. I had two seizures from head trauma when I was young also and never got an MRI to properly check them out. After researching what an unchecked head injury can do to you later in life I worry that if I do get an MRI the results will be bad to say the least.

I do have a doctor I trust but I lost my job a while ago and so lost my insurance as well, to continue seeing him is very expensive so I'm stuck with what I can afford rather than who I trust. I actually went to the hospital two months ago and maybe I didn't express my symptoms well enough because I feel like they didn't address my concerns and never really gave me any sort of answers that gave peace of mind.

I feel the same way you do, if I could just get some sort of diagnosis, even if it was bad, at least it would remove the uncertainty and worries about "is it this? Is it that?". I feel like I drive my friends and family crazy with talking about it so I've stopped bringing it up to anyone except my girlfriend who wants me to go to the hospital. I start worrying though that they'll want to do a ton of tests on me that I can't afford and I'll either have to refuse the tests or bite the bullet and get the tests done and then blow a ton of money on them. Anxiety just makes this entire thing a hundred times worse.

Sorry to hear of your diagnosis, though at least now you can treat it and hopefully start to get some relief from the pain. I hope I can get to that point soon.

I had an anxious episode around lunch time. A couple coworkers talked to me for a bit- and I totally panicked after I spoke because they looked at each other (locking eyes) and smiling. You know, like the way mean girls do when they were just talking about you behind your back; only to then come and talk to you about something 'random'- though that randomness is within the context of what they were talking about you behind your back.

That, and i noticed when i get low blood sugar- anxiety spikes for me.

I don't usually have much anxiety but my body's been in an emergency state for the last couple of hours, mostly due to a lot of reading and thinking. I was just looking up something about a disorder I might have and now that's stressing me out. I'm shaky, my stomach is in agony and my heart's racing. I kind of want to cry and earlier I felt like I might be ill. What the hell is wrong with me?

I ha a break in my anxiety for quite a while but now it's back. I am in a good marriage all things considering but two days ago we had a fight and he said that he wished our life was easier but that with me having lupus and PTSD there is only so much we can do. He later apologized but now I've spent the last day wondering if he felt this way our entire 17 years of marriage and if I should set him free. I don't want too, it would shatter my heart but is it fair for me to hold him back. He married me knowing I had both conditions, not many men would have done that, but has he had his fill? I would be lost without him on so many levels it hurts to just think about it. We spoke about it again today and he said he does not want out of the marriage he just wishes I felt better and it's hard on him because he can't 'fix' it. I love him with all of me and just want him happy.

Anxiety is pretty high this morning. Not sure what is causing it. I don't have anything planned that would cause it.

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My social anxiety is rather okay at this time. I have been able to tolerate the large crowds of holiday shoppers without panicking in the stores and even go to the busy cafes.

But...

...this anxiety has been replaced with an overwhelming anxiety about failure and my well being. I live in daily fear that my car will breakdown or I will crash/get stuck on the sliippery roads. I am anxious about my finances. Owing to the holidays, I have busted my budget and have no money to last me the rest of the month. I am reduced to using my credit card for the basic necessities - something that I think about with dread.