[trashking]

i feel this fear and dread affecting my mood, and it's making me almost feel physically ill. I want to have a good day and stop dwelling on wanting to hide from my recent decisions, but this anxiety won't let me. it makes breathing hard, and makes me feel the /need/ to cry. my stomach is filled with knots of sickening regret and dread, and feels full, like i may throw up-and with all this stress, i might? i can't bear to think about looking my teachers in the eye again, i want to hide my face and never have to be seen again. the anxiety of alll of this makes me want to literally run away or drop out from school,that's how bad this is. of course, i will neither run away nor drop out,as i see those are both dumb and would not help me. i'm just stupidly afraid, i said too much. I can't. i wish i never said anything and things were the way they used to be before i f*cked things up.

[Nimitri]

That's an anxiety attack and it's all normal. I got the same feeling, all your symptoms and it's hard, so very hard. I have right now some methos of relaxation that somewhat work to take it down completely or minimize it for the rest of the day, but first I needed to go to a psychiatrist to take anxiety medication and went to a therapist.

Have you tried to go to one? There is no shame in having medicine help you. Anybody who tells you that you must do it alone either never had this sickness and/or is simply parroting outdated and false information.

If you look for a therapist, what worked for me was one that specialized in therapy cognitive behavioral to deal with my depressing and doom thoughts and changed how I thought about my life, my place in it and my future. If you had seen my post, you will see I still deal with this attacks today, but they are far, far softly that they were before and while a Crisis just took me that three years ago would have taken me months to deal with, right now I'm going out after a week were I never stopped functioning in my daily life.

And you can be healthy too. You can overcome this fears and control your thoughts and enjoy your days. It might seem impossible right now and I thought the same, believed fervently the same, but that's wrong. You can overcome this.

You can do it.