[Nike007]

Hello. I realized today that I hate going to a restaurant by myself. I just feel so anxious. Especially if I have to order for someone else. I don't want to get anything wrong. Actually, I think it's more ordering for someone else than by myself, but anyways. This is major social anxiety. What happens if I order wrong? What if I'm taking too long to pay and the person behind me gets angry? So many what ifs.

Today, my mom needed to watch our store and she said to get us lunch and I was so scared of ordering wrong. And I didn't have enough so I had to run back and get the rest, which was embarrassing. It was 21.35 and I only had a 20. I was so scared and embarrassed. All we got was two wraps and two drinks. Anyways, it peaked my social anxiety so much.

This was mainly a rant post, but does anyone else have a hard time ordering? I have a hard time ordering when with an acquaintance or someone I am just meeting or for someone else and even just by myself. I like someone to order for me.

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg

Nike007, i use to take myself out to dinner every payday and sit by myself, order by myself and eat dinner by myself. It go so i was a regular and the work and management came out and talked with me. What was at first an awkward social engagement ended up something i looked forward to. I made friends and they as well reciprocated. I found that we are only as alone as we feel we are or made to be. I think you did well ordering for yourself and your mom. Social engagements by ourselves can be overwhelming if we don't always have the consolation of a friend in a new environment. hang in there, it does get better! tc

[Evaluna]

I quite like to do most things alone. I totally get the feeling of worry when you're queuing and I worry people will think I'm taking too long, but then I try to tell myself that I'm just a customer the same as everyone else and I'm really just getting some lunch.

I find it more stressful being with other people in that situation. I don't know what they will do or say and at least I know what I'm going to do. It's great that you managed to do it although I know the issue over the money must have been so stressful for you. Xx

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[xXFiyaXx]

I totally get you. I have the same problem going anywhere in public alone especially when getting something for someone

Well, if you order it wrong, it happens. Get the person who you are ordering for to write down what he/she wants, and a "plan B" order if the restaurant doesn't have what he/she wants.

If the person is too picky and wants his/her "onions translucent, not mushy" or his/her "steak just short of medium rare", well, better get them to order it themselves.

As for people behind you getting angry if you take too long to pay, it's their problem, they can very well wait for their turn the same way you waited for yours and the next person behind them is also waiting.

You could also ring the restaurant before and ask how much it's going to cost, and always take some extra money just in case.

In short: having a plan of action will help you reduce your anxiety. Get to know the restaurant: is it a sit-in with people waiting on guests, or is it a takeaway? Do they have a fixed, no-frills and simplified menu or do they take picky people's orders? What food they serve? How much it costs? Do they have a website? Can you see pictures of the food on their website?

Once things go well, you'll feel more confident in those situations.

That's what worked for me. These days I'm pretty relaxed when going to restaurants either on my own or with people, and when with people I just let them cater for themselves.

Enjoy your food

Originally Posted by Nike007

Hello. I realized today that I hate going to a restaurant by myself. I just feel so anxious. Especially if I have to order for someone else. I don't want to get anything wrong. Actually, I think it's more ordering for someone else than by myself, but anyways. This is major social anxiety. What happens if I order wrong? What if I'm taking too long to pay and the person behind me gets angry? So many what ifs.

Today, my mom needed to watch our store and she said to get us lunch and I was so scared of ordering wrong. And I didn't have enough so I had to run back and get the rest, which was embarrassing. It was 21.35 and I only had a 20. I was so scared and embarrassed. All we got was two wraps and two drinks. Anyways, it peaked my social anxiety so much.

This was mainly a rant post, but does anyone else have a hard time ordering? I have a hard time ordering when with an acquaintance or someone I am just meeting or for someone else and even just by myself. I like someone to order for me.

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg

[Kaoris]

I know how you feel about anxiety with dining alone! I have this problem with like 1000 issues that could possibly happen while ordering bouncing around in my head and when it finally comes time to order I'm sweating bullets lol.

[licksnkicks]

Yes, I can go by myself but can't sit still. I feel trapped! I need to get up when I want to and wander around! I rarely go out to eat!

Nike007 - when you spoke about being self conscious when it comes to being in line and paying 'properly' it really stuck a chord. I am constantly conscious of being watched as I do such tasks. Things like simply paying for something, using a self check-out, completing any kind of a transaction are difficult as I feel I am under scrutiny and don't want to inadvertantly piss the people off behind me. I worry that I won't do it properly.

My therapist and I used exposure therapy to deal with this. She drove me around from place to place and I had to make purchases (like candy bars) and engage with staff and other customers. Gosh it was awful - at first. I still am very self conscious but my anxiety no longer causes me to avoid doing things that need to be done.

Are you able to do something similar one day?

[gayleggg]

I used to enjoy going out to eat by myself but lately I find I'm too nervous to go in by myself. I don't know what the solution is though. It just depends on my frame of mind.

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[avlady]

yes frame of mind like a good one and confidence is the answer. You need to get used to doing it a few times and then it becomes second nature. i wish you well and keep your chin up!!!

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

I don't like it either but sometimes I am away on business, and I don't want room service and it is too wet for a picnic so I have ritual.

I am trying to taste every chicken dhansak in this sorry country so I sit and read my paper and eat my curry washed down with a pint of lager in every dismal provincial dorp from Penrith to Southampton.

Since you ask, you have to go a long way to beat the Bombay Curry House on Commercial Way in Loughborough.

Psychology would call the condition perfectionism. It may have stemmed from parents that were overly critical, such as bringing home a report card with 5 As and 1 B--and your parents focused exclusively on the B. Consequently, you have these unrealistically high expectations of yourself. Furthermore, you associate everything you do as some type of barometer of who you are as a person. This leads to catastrophic thinking: You either order food for someone "perfectly" or if you make a "mistake" you'll think of yourself as an idiot. Realistically, neither is true.

You probably like to plan things out, but what may want to try is just go into a restaurant with your mother or whoever on a whim, order food for your mother in an impromptu way, and laugh when the waiter says "excuse me?"

You, as a person, has nothing to do with ordering food off a menu for someone else "perfectly."

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by rcat

Nike007 - when you spoke about being self conscious when it comes to being in line and paying 'properly' it really stuck a chord. I am constantly conscious of being watched as I do such tasks. Things like simply paying for something, using a self check-out, completing any kind of a transaction are difficult as I feel I am under scrutiny and don't want to inadvertantly piss the people off behind me. I worry that I won't do it properly.

My therapist and I used exposure therapy to deal with this. She drove me around from place to place and I had to make purchases (like candy bars) and engage with staff and other customers. Gosh it was awful - at first. I still am very self conscious but my anxiety no longer causes me to avoid doing things that need to be done.

Are you able to do something similar one day?

Gosh, that sounds terrible. Probably not right now. That sounds so scary. Maybe later, but at the moment, it sounds scary to think about.

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg