Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Jan 30, 2016, 12:02 AM
defyinggravity65's Avatar
defyinggravity65 defyinggravity65 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 224
I have been worried about developing scitzophrenia or psychosis for the longest time. These worries started after I experienced a bout of depersonalization where I woke up one morning with a memory in my head and I at first thought it was real, but later thought that i might have been remembering a dream. I've replayed the memory in my head over and over for 3 years and cant figure it out. I've posted about it before, and worry daily that I am losing touch with reality because of it.
These last few days have been horrible for me, my anxiety has been through the roof and I began to obsess about the memory again, determined to figure out if it's true or not. There is no way to prove this memory one way or the other though, so my efforts are a useless compulsion.
I was thinking yesterday that maybe I shouldn't have canceled therapy this week, then I could have talked about these types of things and got them off my chest.
This is the disturbing part for me: it was then that I suddenly had a fleeting, random thought pop into my head that my therapy office sent me a letter asking why I cancelled therapy.
I knew immediately that this never happened, but when the thought first popped into my head it sort of felt like it did. I am 100% positive it did not happen though.
Now I am freaking out because I'm worrying that this could mean I'm delusional! I'm worried that I dreamed the thing about the letter and that what happened to me 3 years ago will happen again!
I get a random false memory almost exactly like this one come to me from time to time.. I think it is just OCD's way of keeping the worrying about going crazy/memory distrust theme alive, since my ovreal anxiety about the event is still so high. I just don't understand why I would get a sudden random thought of receiving that letter that felt like a true memory...when it wasnt. It's made me feel totally crazy so any opinions anyone has about this are appreciated greatly!!!
__________________
Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ("Pure O" Type), Social Anxiety
Rx: Lorazepam PRN
Hugs from:
Anonymous37780, Anonymous37833, avlady, ladyrevan21, Stillcloseted

advertisement
  #2  
Old Jan 30, 2016, 08:30 AM
Anonymous37833
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I'm sorry that you're suffering.

Did you have a traumatic event in your life? Maybe something triggered your memory on a subconscious level 3 years ago.

If so, you may be suffering from PTSD.

I may be totally off, but I wanted to start with this line of questions.

Yeah, continue therapy.
Hugs from:
avlady
  #3  
Old Jan 30, 2016, 09:25 AM
defyinggravity65's Avatar
defyinggravity65 defyinggravity65 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 224
Thanks. I did not have any traumatic events happen to me, so idk where this all is coming from that's going on with me right now
__________________
Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ("Pure O" Type), Social Anxiety
Rx: Lorazepam PRN
Hugs from:
Anonymous37780, Anonymous37833
  #4  
Old Jan 30, 2016, 01:00 PM
Stillcloseted's Avatar
Stillcloseted Stillcloseted is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 29
We are with you defyinggravity. Know that.
Thanks for this!
defyinggravity65
  #5  
Old Jan 30, 2016, 02:58 PM
Anonymous37780
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Defying Gravity, you are not alone. I have lived much trauma and PTSD, and i struggle with memories which i have suppressed. What we tend to do is rationalize or try to figure out the blank spots where the memory is missing. That can lead us to false assumptions which we can mistake for reality. That is what counseling is there for, to help us process it out and find what is fact and what is assumption. That does not necessarily mean one is illusional so don't be so hard on yourself. Especially if people lied to us in the past to believe something wasn't true to cover their actions. This is worth thinking about with your therapist. Journal the thoughts, questions, and read them next time in therapy. It will help you tremendously. blessings and tc
  #6  
Old Jan 31, 2016, 10:44 AM
ladyrevan21 ladyrevan21 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2016
Location: Virginia
Posts: 656
*Hugs tightly*

Talk to your therapist about it. That's the best thing I can say. Hopefully they can help you sort through all of this. I also agree with omegalamed -- journaling can also help. At least it might also help you sort through everything that you're feeling.

I hope this helps, at least.
  #7  
Old Jan 31, 2016, 11:22 AM
defyinggravity65's Avatar
defyinggravity65 defyinggravity65 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 224
Thank you
__________________
Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ("Pure O" Type), Social Anxiety
Rx: Lorazepam PRN
  #8  
Old Jan 31, 2016, 12:02 PM
ladyrevan21 ladyrevan21 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2016
Location: Virginia
Posts: 656
No problem. I'm going through the same thing -- more daytime flashes than anything else, but still pretty bad. You aren't alone.
  #9  
Old Jan 31, 2016, 01:37 PM
defyinggravity65's Avatar
defyinggravity65 defyinggravity65 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 224
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyrevan21 View Post
No problem. I'm going through the same thing -- more daytime flashes than anything else, but still pretty bad. You aren't alone.
Thanks it's just so scary to have ocd and then to not know whether something happened to you or not. And I don't have PTSD so I don't know what it is.
__________________
Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ("Pure O" Type), Social Anxiety
Rx: Lorazepam PRN
  #10  
Old Feb 01, 2016, 08:56 AM
ladyrevan21 ladyrevan21 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2016
Location: Virginia
Posts: 656
Quote:
Originally Posted by defyinggravity65 View Post
Thanks it's just so scary to have ocd and then to not know whether something happened to you or not. And I don't have PTSD so I don't know what it is.
No problem. And I know. It's terrifying.

I don't know if it helps, but if you ever need someone to talk to, my inbox is open.
Reply
Views: 1805

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:27 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.