About to have a breakdown

Okay, I'v suffered with anxiety for as long as I can remember.. It has held me back from doing just about anything and everything. I see a therapist occasionally and once tried Paxil .. After Horrible side effects and sheer terror for 2 weeks and I couldn't continue.. So now I am just trying to figure it out on my own.

My anxiety is absolutely paralyzingly.. As long as I'm busy I'm usually okay, but on a night all I do is sit and worry..
And at times like this I feel I need help, I'm having an issue with the house I rent. Logically I know it's not the end of the world, but I'm honestly out of my mind panicking!! I'm sick to my stomach, I'm pacing, I can't eat, i can't stop crying and I just cannot function.

I have 2 children, my husband works away for months at a time and I'm essentially on my own. I don't know where to turn or who to talk to.. I have no friends because a lot of my anxiety is social..

I just needed to vent :'(

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You may need a real commitment to therapy once per week.
And a Pdoc so you can explore Meds.

I've had anxiety since grade 6 I'm on meds: abilify, Trintellix, clonazapam... I'm trying hard to get through this life .... My diagnosis is bipolar and BPD.... I see my doc every 2 weeks... You'll be okay if you get help and meds

I honestly don't know how to get the help I need.. I'v seen a doctor over and over for my anxiety and he just refers me to a therapist in the building to talk to. She's more like a counsellor I believe.. And when I do go, she's so busy that she tells me she needs to close my file soon so I don't end up going back.. Then my doctor refers me back to her when I tell him my anxiety is too much. But breathing and positive thinking isn't making anything better it helps with the depression part, but when I'm worried about something I get VERY sick.. I'v even called the mental health clinic in a panic in desperate attempt to get help during one of my 'breakdowns' and nothing came of it. They just sent me to my doctor!!

Thank you for the replies, I'm just confused to what is available to me here

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The other poster is in Canada too.
I Tryed for years to get my regular MD refer me to a Pdoc. No luck no approval from ins co.
Finally went ip. Then was treated by Pdoc from hospital.

I could have written this myself. My issues with my home are financial. And to top it off, I just lost my job because I was having too many panic attacks and erratic behavior from my BP meds. And yea meds help but it's not going to fix my problems this time. What we are both going through is situational, nothing meds will *ta da!* fix. At least for me. I haven't had a full nights sleep in two wks because once I lay down my mind starts racing and I end up having another panic attack. I'm trying my best to put on a show in front of my family but I kinda lost it last night when my bf confronted me saying that I'm not doing anything about my MI. Well my appointment with pdoc isn't until the 14th so I can't do much! I've been cooped up in my room and he thinks I'm in there relaxing. Hah. If he only could be in my mind for a day! Are you on a PRN med for anxiety? That's a med that would help you right now. Something to calm your attacks. Can you see your therapist more often or have friends and family you can turn to? The only place where I can talk about my issues, BP, anxiety ect is here on PC mostly due to having crappy insurance. It's better than nothing. We're all here to support each other so post away as much as you need! I really hope your problems resolve soon ((hugs)).

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Thanks for the reply!!! I was given Ativan for my panic attacks, it didn't seem to help all that much and left me feeling angry and agitated, really strange side effects but I just never went back to switch meds as it didn't seem like my doctor really gave a crap.
I'm 30 weeks pregnant now with my 3rd and the anxiety is getting worse it seems with the hormones!!
My anxiety definitely peaks and becomes unmanageable during hard times. Especially anything financial, I literally can't handle the stress I feel??
I should just call and book in with my therapist, the stupid part, is that I always go see her when I feel good. Lol when my anxiety is bad, I can't even make phone calls, it feels too much.. So I end up suffering in fear at home, bills don't get paid because I get panicky about dealing with money, I don't keep up with any kind of social life and I end up going stir crazy taking care of my kids and house.
I need to make sure I try to overcome my anxiety and fight it, but I literally become immobile during these times.

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Its really hard to be proactive and advocate for yourself when your experiencing episodes. Maybe you can find a family member to go to the DR's with you - to advocate and be a show of force.
Stay strong for your children, that was always a source of inspiration for me.

It is so hard! I feel tremendous guilt for not being able to be proactive as I'm actually a very positive, outgoing person when the anxiety doesn't have me by the neck so I reallllly hate when I feel this way.
I wish I had a family member or somebody of support.. My parents always have mocked me for my anxiety since I was a teen, they would make fun when I had a panic attack and it's just a huge joke to them.
My husband is really the only person I have as support but even he doesn't fully understand it. He thinks anxiety is all in the head.. Yet he doesn't experience the very physical side effects I feel from my panic!!

My children are the one and only things that keep me going. Without them, I don't know where I would be!!

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Here in Canada one gets a psychiatrist on referral. Ask your family physican for a referral. If they won't visit a clinic or other doctor. Another option is to visit the ER where they will get the ball rolling for you too.

It is important that you seek out a psychiatrist before or in addition to a therapist. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor and can prescribe medications. Also, don't rely upon your family doctor to know what is best to medicate you with. They aren't armed with the same knowledge as a psychiatrist to properly diagnose and treat you. It is not uncommon for them to make a prescription based on how you at that moment in time present that will cause the opposite effect.

A big example is when an SSRI is prescribed to someone who turns out to be Bipolar. Bad news ensues.

Here in Canada you are entitled to mental health care free of charge. While there do exist pay for service therapists, as long as you get a referral the majority of them are free of charge. However, (seek out what your employer can do to help) the pay for service therapists are more immediately available. There will otherwise be a waiting period for those part of your provicial health care system.