[brimajo93]

Hey guys,
I am 22 years old and still scared of the monster in the closet. Okay, not really. But I'm terrified to be home alone. I mean TERRIFIED. I have always been nervous about it, but I was coping. Then a year ago, three guys kicked in my front door, robbed my house and attacked me. Two months ago, in a different house, someone again tried to break in while I was there alone. Now my anxiety hits the roof any time I'm here alone. My boyfriend has gone to the gym, just for an hour, and I'm trying not to panic. I know I need to be able to deal with being here on my own. I know the house is locked up tight and I have my cell phone and ways to protect myself. But I'm so SCARED. And I also have a hard time separating rational and irrational fears...like I'm not entirely convinced the monster from Jeepers Creepers isn't watching me from the window. My boyfriend has some business trips coming up, so I NEED to be able to cope with being here alone, all night. Could someone help talk me through this if you have some time? Thanks :-(

[Misssy2]

I don't like being alone in the house either and I have never had anyone break in...but someone was spotted underneath my bedroom window one night.

For you - do you have a girlfriend or a parent you can go stay with on the nights your b/f will be away? Or can you go to a hotel room? They are not that expensive. If he can afford to go away on business..he might have a decent job...ask him for the 80 dollars a night to stay somewhere else?

Hi brimajo93,

I hope you managed okay. I have a few ideas I learnt in CBT (which I'm a big proponent of). I will msg you a more complete description but in the meantime here are some of the things you might try:

develop an anxiety bag - full of items that use each of the 5 senses to calm and soothe
Evidence For/Against list
Catasrophic Worksheet
Advantages To/Not behaviour list

While I willmsg you more information, a good many tools including worksheets are available on the net. One great website is:

CBT Worksheets For Therapy & Self-Help PDF | Psychology Tools

[brimajo93]

Thank you both. I honestly don't think I would feel any safer in a hotel room...it's the silence that does me in. My brain starts making up stuff to fill it, and my imagination is super vivid: sometimes I can't tell for sure what's real and what I made up. It's easy to freak myself out really badly. The anxiety bag has been helpful.

What helps the most, I think, is talking to people. Getting on the phone with someone or even texting keeps me grounded enough to keep my brain from going haywire. Writing helps too (so the worksheets helped).

He left this morning (ten days, EEP!!!) and now it's like...I know the noises I'm hearing are the washing machine. I know I'm armed and trained. I know I have an escape route. I know nothing is going to kill me (unless some Navy Seal really has it out for me). And yet the anxious part of my brain is terrified that the noises from the washer are really some twisted murderer straight out of a criminal minds episode running up my stairs. I really need to learn to work through this, I can't stay with friends every time my boyfriend is out of town :-( I'm determined to be independent. So I'm going to self-tan and do my nails and probably not sleep a wink tonight.

[shabur]

After I was hospitalized I was put in CBT then DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy). Based on what I learned in DBT, I was able to put together a plan that I use when things get bad. I laminated it and I carry it with me where ever I go. When I'm in that place, I pull it out and go through the list and find what works for the situation. It has been a big help.

i am sorry that i can't offer you much advice.

i am alone here all the time, and not bothered by it- i've only had 1 time where i thought someone was in the house, but that turned out to be a van outside... i'm not entirely sure what to suggest, suppose i just wanted to reply to tell you that i've read it and i wish you well

[amandalouise]

Im sorry we cant act as a therapist with you, talking you down from your anxiety. what we can do is tell you what has helped ourselves..

the first thing I do when my wife has plans to go out of town is I contact my treatment providers (medical doctors, therapists, psychiatrists...) and together we all develop a plan of how to take care of myself and my anxiety.

then i just follow my treatment plans. example....

my treatment providers and I exchange contact information, i keep mine on both my house phone and my cell phones, that way regardless of where I am and whats going on I can contact my treatment providers.

my treatment providers do medication adjustments so that my meds can handle the added anxiety levels I am in when my wife has to be out of town.

I also plan activities like visiting friends and family, outings with my children, take in a movie or show, take myself out to dinner....

at home I plan what tv shows I want to catch on tv and internet services.

journal and other lower my stress level activities that I normally do...

my suggestion is since each person has their own things that work to lower their stress and anxiety the best move for you is to contact your or a mental health treatment provider and your physician, they can help you to develop an emergency plan on how you can handle your anxiety while your boyfriend is out of town.

I make similar lists planning out what to do in catastrophic or worst case scenarios. Alongside these lists I have ones about the likely scenarios too.

[RachelLyn915]

My heart goes out to you. I have a similar fear. I'm not in a place yet where I can be left alone over night. I don't like being alone at all. For me, being armed and trained takes care of my fear of an intruder but it doesn't even touch my fear that something will go wrong with my health and I will be all alone with no one to help me. Even typing it I see how irrational that is (I'm 26 years old with no known medical conditions and boy have they searched for one), but I have yet to completely beat my hypochondria.

Just think of how much stronger and proud of yourself you will be when the ten days are over!