[InACorner]

When i was in my old home..living with my parents....i had the idea cameras were all over the house....i tried to do nothing that would...embarress me...or criminate me...or anything.....i had this idea....that even if i was alone ....there were ghosts everywhere...and i just couldnt see them.....i also thought there was definitly someone upstairs...or around a corner.....behind a door...i swear i thought i saw doors move with no one there.....i swear someone pulled up the shades when i didnt...my nerves were shot to say the least....(my parents didnt help cuz of abuse) i had to be on the phone all night everynight with my boyfriend...i had to have my light on at all times....i had to watch a dvd player with the same movie in it..i couldnt watch tv...in case something like The Ring happened....i couldnt listen to the radio...sudden sounds made me jump and more nervous.....so it helped if i listened and watched the same movie over and over again....i made a priest bless the house over three times in a year (not enough for me..but if i asked again he might think i was nuts) i felt someone was always watching me...always listening to me....i felt there was someone behind the door..under the bed....even hiding under a desk i had...i had a cat...and i always kept him in the house when i was alone...i would study his movements to see if he felt something...especailly when i was alone i would never leave the living room...with all the lights on...the tv on ,i could only watch the tv in the living room...for some reason it felt like that tv was ok...in fact...that was the tv i couldnt watch movies on...unless they were through the tv channels....i couldnt watch a movie unless it was light...because id have to see the dining room....and someone was probably there staring through the glass door that we had there leading out to a deck by the woods, if and when i did fall asleep....i had to sleep with my face facing the door, because i felt like someone (a ghost) was always standing beside my bed...or that someone would come in my door....i took out my tv from my room because i was afraid it would turn on by itself....the closet door had to be closed ...the shades had to pulled down extra long and now...i live in a house with 9 others...and im still like this...i still feel pretty much the same stuff...except now i dont watch the dvd....and talk on the phone...i have two others in my room..but i just watch tv and take sleeping pills...and i still fight sleep because im so scared....and then i collapse in exhaustion...any thoughts or suggestions to calm down would be great....i dont know..i feel like i just had to get this out

[blah__x]

i swear i was about to post something nearly identical to this and i noticed your post.
ive had this obsession for ages and i feel every room has cameras in it, the phones are tapped, im being watched from every mirror, somebody is at EVERY window. just watching. like they're gona hurt me. i dont know. i aso keep my cat with me when im alone. she sits at my window at night and i study her for any movement to suggest that someone is out there. its horrible, cant think straight or do anything without feeling like somones there to witness what im doing..

no idea what to say as far as suggestions go..we're in the same boat.

hope it doesn't sink..

[InACorner]

thank you so much....even if i am with tons of people it still doesnt totally help i mean...obiviously its better than being alone..but i mean i have two people in my room at night....and im far away from the door...youd think id be able to sleep...but here i am....at 2 am...im sorry you have to feel the same way i do...it sucks doesnt it...

[InACorner]

i only had one reply...no one else has any idea? Or at least perhaps a hug...or something?

[chalmette70043]

((((((((((inny))))))))))))))

[sabby]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((( inny )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner than this, please forgive me.

I don't know if what you are going through is paranoia or not. But it does sound to me like you definitely have something going on, what it's cause is, I don't know. I so wish you could find a T to help you with these issues hon. I really think you would benefit from having an outlet with a professional.

I know I'm not much help here and I'm sorry. Know that I care about you and I'm sending you strength and friendship.


J

[InACorner]

thanks guys

(((((((((chalmette)))))))

(((Sabau))) No worries...i know you care...and you are alot help just giving me a hug....i appreciate it alot

Love,
inny

[blah__x]

((((((((inny))))))))

sorry i didnt reply earlier

[pachyderm]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
InACorner said:
When i was in my old home..living with my parents....i had the idea cameras were all over the house....i tried to do nothing that would...embarress me...or criminate me...or anything.....

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Couldn't this just be that you were expecting your parents to be censuring you?

[skittles]

i have simliar things happen to me...i feel that ppl watch me from my closet sometimes, and sometimes theres shadows next to me, feel them behind me, seen/felt a shadow of a little kid running by me out the corner of my eye i looked and nothing was there.... sometimes if i hear a noise i freak out when i feel/see these shadows.. i used to get images in my head of a huge dark firgue of a man.. one time i was driving and felt him over my shoulder and was scared to looki n my mirror..... so i know what ur going through..... (((( inacorner))))))

[SystemAurora]

Sorry, I don't know... but I do find as a result of especially anxiety attacks (I've been having one the past few days, think it's getting better), I'll think my mom is making me think things or is controlling my thoughts. I think it is paranoid but I don't know... =/ Sorry I'm not more help.

[Perna]

For me, thinking negative or frightening things that "should" be verifiable or not (whether there are cameras all over the house) but that I don't/can't verify, is paranoia on my part. I try not to be judgmental of myself but think of it as having an overactive imagination for whatever reason. I've decided there were footprints in the snow under my windows at night (it was snow melting and falling off the roof), just generally "jumped to conclusions" without checking things out. The important thing for me to remember is to always check things out; identify and do "reality testing" on all my assumptions. Having a "feeling" that something is a certain way without obvious evidence that it is true sets off my alarm bells to check things out. I often use "logic" to calm myself if I can't get the feeling to go away. The likelihood of your parents' home having cameras "all over" just to keep track of you and that you wouldn't know about it or be able to see them is not very high?

The other things you mentioned, like having to do certain things, follow certain "rituals" (watch certain movies or talk to certain people at a certain time) sounds OCD-like to me?