[ComfortablyNumb5]

I get bad anxiety and PTSD triggers by anyone of authority. From my own father to a cop. Even if they mean no harm. It stems from when I was younger *trigger* and suffered mental abuse from my dads gf and I was often the punching bag when my dad would get into a drunken rage. So anytime there's confrontation with anyone of this sort, I lose it. At my last job I'd have to take my PRN almost on a daily basis while being a cardiologists assistant. I went to work terrified of this dr on a daily basis... and for no real reason. Just because he was well known and carried himself with lots of confidence. Now I can't even hold a job because my MI gets triggered and I lose my ****. I feel like a loser who can't even hold a job cause why? Cause I'm THAT terrified of those above me? Also at my last job there was a manager that would pick on me and just be mean because she found out I had anxiety issues. I haven't been able to work since. Am I the only one out there that fears authority and confrontation so much? I'm currently working to get on SSI for my bipolar and people ask me "are you EVER going back to work?!" And honestly, I can't even imagine that right now.

[Yzen]

I can understand how you feel. I had a strong fear of authority from events in my childhood. And, I have felt anxiety around my managers to a point I would avoid them. Something changed in my last job. My manager in that job pushed me so much that I reached a point where my only defense to the pressure was to stop caring anymore. When I started to get stressed by management, I would tell myself "I don't care...I am going to do what I can do and that is enough". I stopped caring what they thought of me; I stopped caring that they had expectations of me; I stopped caring if they judged me as good or bad. It seems like it has helped me see them as less authoritative. By not treating them like an authority, they are less threatening to me. I still try to do a good job to keep employed, but I decided I don't care about their position and control. I treat them like they are just another employee. I am not sure it is the right approach, but it is helping me.

[mindwrench]

I have high anxiety around those in an official authority capacity such cops or government agents. I have always had a problem with authority figures in general, from school school teachers when I was young to managers/supervisors as an adult. I always think they are going to abuse their authority and use it to do me harm be it physically or mentally. When I was still working I was so proactive in guarding myself against it that i often went on the offensive, even when I was not under attack. Holding down a job for me, especially if I had to work near other people or under anyone was an emotional roller coaster that left me angry, hurt, or in the bathroom dry heaving with anxiety on a daily basis the last few years I worked.

Please don't be so hard on yourself for not being in the workplace. Out of the last 22 years, I have missed 12 years of work due to MI issues. I have been off 9 months this time and I have no intentions of going back to work, at least not in any traditional sense of the word.

[Unrigged64072835]

I had the same type of abuse from my dad and that has translated into fear of authority figures. Once I worked through my issues with my dad the fear has gone down somewhat.

The other anxiety, though, keeps me from getting a job and even leaving my house by myself. I did get SSDI so I'm okay for now, but I dread the upcoming reviews.

[unaluna]

My parents scared the shyte out of me too. Then catholic school and church. And 400 italians. Ive been a wreck most of my life and not even realized it much of the time. At least youre seeing it while you are still relatively young. Figure out what you really really want in life. What you can contribute.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Wow I'm so relieved I'm not alone.

[handheart]

Well your problem its from your children and its buried in your subconstient mind and thats way you have this fear .I advice you to search a therapist or a psycholog its better to help you with your children problems .If you dont search for profesional help will be hard for you ,soryy to say this to you .Hope it helps

[Onward2wards]

I have similar fears, coupled with a fear of being negatively judged by "important people" too (the guilt and fear can get outrageous and irrational). Searching through my memories, it seemed to be less intense and way more situational in the past. I am not 100% sure why it got worse over time, although I have a few pet theories - look at your life experiences so far.

You definitely aren't alone. I have PTSD related to military service. I experienced some pretty rotten things during that time - often at the hands of superiors. I learnt distrust and fear. I also learned that I had no one to turn to when things got bad. Thus today I have a very poor opinion of and relationship with anyone in authority. Frankly, authority makes me uncomfortable, anxious, and at times quite terrified.

[Onward2wards]

From the perspective of your average "authority figure" who means well, I can imagine regular people like you and I who have to make big decisions while dealing with people who are secretly terrified of them. No pressure, lol! It's kind of surreal from everyone's perspective, come to think of it. People who abuse their authority make things suck for everyone later - those who deal with authority figures, and also those in a position of authority.