[sunflower07]

I am wondering if anyone has had a friend who can't handle being your friend because of your anxiety?
I work with someone who was supposed to be my best friend and since I told that person that I have anxiety, now everything is from that. I get stomach problems all of the time. I get panic attacks. Recently I had a herniated disk pushing on a nerve in my neck and had to be out of work for weeks, now this person said she can't handle being my friend because there is always something wrong. I am thinking I should have never told her I had anxiety. Now I am suddenly not a good enough person to be friends with.

[beautifulconfusion]

I'm sorry you're experiencing this, sunflower... that must hurt like hell. It's not because of you, though. It's not your fault that you are having panic attacks... you're in pain, and you need support & understanding. Unfortunately there is still a lot of ignorance & stigma surrounding mental disorders. Maybe you could print off some basic info & statistics about Anxiety disorders to share with her? They're actually quite common, I think something like 16% of the US population experience some form of anxiety disorder at some point in their lives (don't quote me on that, though, my memory's not so great! hehe)

Also, would you feel comfortable talking with her about how you feel? (or writing a letter, if that would be easier) Explain that you're feeling vulnerable/scared/super-stressed/(insert whatever you like) right now & it has been difficult to share these feelings. Your panic attacks aren't a means of "acting out" to get attention, and there is not always going to be something wrong. But for right now, while you're in crisis, you need her support. Really, she should feel honored that you trusted her enough to share with her about your anxiety... I hope that she will learn to be more understanding... & of course there are plenty of kind folks on here who understand what anxiety is like & will offer support -- you're not alone!

Good luck, and keep in touch... feel free to PM me if you want. Wishing you gentle waves of peace, serenity, & relief...

[beautifulconfusion]

PS -- Forgot to mention that I've definitely had some similar experiences... in fact, I've had a couple of romantic relationships that crumbled abruptly when my respective partners witnessed me having a panic attack....

Ok, admittedly, if you've never had a panic attack, I'm sure that it'd be pretty scary to watch a loved one go through it. & on both occasions I didn't have my xanax on hand, so the attacks escalated & got pretty ugly... hysterical crying, vomitting, pulling my hair, etc... but still, in both instances they had known for a long time that I have an anxiety disorder. Plus... I mean, you think you're scared just cuz you have to watch it? I'm the one who has to go through it & deal with the aftermath! Cowards! Ok, whoops, got carried away there for a sec... hehe... erm, anyway....

Ok, so how did these situations turn out? Well, my most recent bf, with whom I'd been in a commited relationship for about a year.... I never heard from him again after that (this was in the beginning of June), and he refuses to return a bunch of dvds I loaned him, which happened to be all of my favorite movies. Bastard.... .... but I shall take deep breaths & move on....

Now for the happy ending! I eventually reconciled with the other guy, and he is now one of my best friends. Ironically enough, he recently began sharing with me about his own troubles with depression & social anxiety. We've been able to support each other & bond on a deeper level, which has really been a blessing. So take heart... not everyone is going to be a complete jackass!

Damn, this was a long post... ... seems I'm gettin kinda hypo outta nowhere, hmm. Anyway, hope my tales of woe give you a laugh, or at least aren't too irritating...!

[ickydog2006]

I just wanted to say I"m sorry you're experiencing this. I've lost friends in the past from anxiety and SI. It's really hard, but it does get easier. Just try not to let this affect all of your relationships. It's really easy to refuse to let yourself open up to people after you lose friends due to this, and can really hurt future relationships.

(((((((((((hugs))))))))))

[sunflower07]

Thanks so much for all of the support!
I am a little nervous about work because I think this person has told alot of my work about my anxiety and people sometimes feel funny towards you. Now comes the kicker....I work in a hospital. You would think more people would understand HUH?
I appreciate your input and I am very sorry you have had bad experiences with this type of thing also.
Thanks for sharing.

[MyBestKids2]

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time with your friend. This is one of the reasons I have such a small social network IRL.

Take gentle care,
Dee

[pachyderm]

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sunflower07 said:
I am wondering if anyone has had a friend who can't handle being your friend because of your anxiety?

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Yeah, more than one ditched me because of how I was acting. It hurt a lot. Now that I understand more about it, it doesn't hurt as much. And I think I can find some people who won't reject me.