[Trace14]

At first I thought it was just going places and being around other people, but I think it is I just don't want to leave the house. It's my safe spot. But I can't live life like this. I've been told to go out a little bit and then a little more, take baby steps to get out more. But it is so hard, I physically get sick thinking I have to go outside.

[Raindropvampire]

I know if it wasn't for work and doc appointments I'd never leave my house of my own freewill. So I make myself have lunch with friends at least once a month. Is there anything that you might enjoy that you could make yourself do so you get out every so often? I know it's really hard but if you pick something you enjoy maybe it won't be so hard once you're out and about.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

I know if it wasn't for work and doc appointments I'd never leave my house of my own freewill. So I make myself have lunch with friends at least once a month. Is there anything that you might enjoy that you could make yourself do so you get out every so often? I know it's really hard but if you pick something you enjoy maybe it won't be so hard once you're out and about.

Well I go to the grocery store and once I'm out I'm okay, it's just getting out that door. This once I get back home it's like close the door and hibernate again. Sadly it's getting worse. Not sure how much worse it can get, but the more I get used to it the easier it is to stay in.

[Raindropvampire]

Every time I take time off work it is a sheer battle of willpower to go back. You are exactly right the more you are home the more comfortable it is to stay there. Is there anything you enjoy doing? Library, movies, hobby shop, trying a new restaurant etc...

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

Every time I take time off work it is a sheer battle of willpower to go back. You are exactly right the more you are home the more comfortable it is to stay there. Is there anything you enjoy doing? Library, movies, hobby shop, trying a new restaurant etc...

No not really, and the cold weather doesn't help. Do they even have libraries anymore? Maybe when the weather gets warmer it may inspire me to get out some. It's a lot like dissociation...you can get so comfortable in that space that you just don't want to leave. Nothing else matters but being safe in that space. I loved working, loved to go back, I like to come home too, but I liked to go back because I enjoyed my job so much. Enjoy be able to work, the alternative sucks.

It stinks but I literally had to force myself to go out b/c I need to do so in order to survive.

I'd have full out panic attacks, bad ones, when getting ready to leave. Once I'd actually made it out of my apartment I'd have to force myself to take every next step.

I think if you don't try and force yourself out, the anxiety is just going to get worse. This is in my experience anyway.

And yes, they still have libraries. I'd be surprised if NC didn't have an awesome state library system. My county just built a whole bunch of new libraries, including the main branch. We have a bookmobile, too.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by GoldenWaves

It stinks but I literally had to force myself to go out b/c I need to do so in order to survive.

I'd have full out panic attacks, bad ones, when getting ready to leave. Once I'd actually made it out of my apartment I'd have to force myself to take every next step.

I think if you don't try and force yourself out, the anxiety is just going to get worse. This is in my experience anyway.

And yes, they still have libraries. I'd be surprised if NC didn't have an awesome state library system. My county just built a whole bunch of new libraries, including the main branch. We have a bookmobile, too.

Sounds so easy, right. Baby steps I guess.
We probably do still have libraries, not sure why though. If I had the computer and internet when I was in school I would have never gone to a library

[zijax]

agorophobia

[*Laurie*]

I live across the street from a libraries. Sure, there are still libraries, fortunately.

Are you on medication?

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

I live across the street from a libraries. Sure, there are still libraries, fortunately.

Are you on medication?

Yes, Wellbutrin and Lexapro, Trazadone at night.

[Unrigged64072835]

I know the feeling. It's hard to get out, and often after doing something I just want to head straight home. I should stay out and get out of my comfort zone, but it takes some doing.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

I know the feeling. It's hard to get out, and often after doing something I just want to head straight home. I should stay out and get out of my comfort zone, but it takes some doing.

Once I'm out, I do okay, not great but okay. I try to get all my errands done in a short amount of time so I can get back home. Maybe in time this will get better. There's got to be a bottom to this and then we start working our way back up to a some what normal life, ya know?

Hmmmm, there are numerous 'thought patterns' that lead us to not want to go out. It could be thinking catastrophically (yep, this is me). It could be a matter of thinking critically of one's self and being convinced others will do the same (yep still me). Disqualifying the positive even.

It might be helpful to ask yourself the big question about how helpful it is to have these anxious thoughts. What is to your advantage by thinking this way and what is to your disadvantage of thinking this way? Similarly ask yourself what is positive by going out and what isn't. What incremental changes are reasonable then for you to make?

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

Hmmmm, there are numerous 'thought patterns' that lead us to not want to go out. It could be thinking catastrophically (yep, this is me). It could be a matter of thinking critically of one's self and being convinced others will do the same (yep still me). Disqualifying the positive even.

It might be helpful to ask yourself the big question about how helpful it is to have these anxious thoughts. What is to your advantage by thinking this way and what is to your disadvantage of thinking this way? Similarly ask yourself what is positive by going out and what isn't. What incremental changes are reasonable then for you to make?

I'm really not sure why I feel this way except maybe not having to make decisions, not having to remember anything, not have to deal with people. Positive I get my groceries and don't have to go back out for a week or so. I can't think of a disadvantage of thinking this way. Or am I not understanding the question.

In the last month I went out maybe 5 or 6 times only. For me the factors are: the weather, currently not working, depression, social anxiety, and being alone. I can force myself to go out, but more often than not when I do so, I go back home disappointed and more depressed. It's not a way to live, but being alone can throw you in despair. You cannot do things alone. I mean, technically you can, but you feel you are being judged because of that. Also, you feel bad about yourself that every body else is with someone but you. If you are sociable, maybe make friends or go to meeting groups, or if you already have friends go out with them every once a while.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Mr. Stranger

In the last month I went out maybe 5 or 6 times only. For me the factors are: the weather, currently not working, depression, social anxiety, and being alone. I can force myself to go out, but more often than not when I do so, I go back home disappointed and more depressed. It's not a way to live, but being alone can throw you in despair. You cannot do things alone. I mean, technically you can, but you feel you are being judged because of that. Also, you feel bad about yourself that every body else is with someone but you. If you are sociable, maybe make friends or go to meeting groups, or if you already have friends go out with them every once a while.

I too am alone and yes if someone were here to inspire me to leave things may be different. But do I want to give up that space and peace of mind to have someone else in my space? I don't know, it's complex, not as easy as people want to make it out to be. Every day is a roll of the dice.

I didn't say it's easy. I don't have friends or a partner for a reason. Part of the reason is that I prefer to be alone, but the other part is that I have hard times connecting with people. I'm socially awkward to put it mildly. If you are happy not leaving home, that's OK I guess. But you said you cannot live like this. I have the same issue. I like being home alone and away from people and life in general, but at the same I don't like living like this. It's a dilemma, and I understand that.

[Smileonmyface]

I feel like as time goes on the distance I will go for groceries or anything keeps shrinking. And when I do leave the house doing more than one errand is too stressful. Like, trying to do a doctor appointment and go to a store afterwards feels like too much. Sometimes I force myself but usually I just go with it and limit what I do. It puts a strain on my marriage because he wishes I would want to get out more. And I love being home but sometimes it's a restless feeling.

[Angelique67]

It definitely is causing issues for me too. I had only mild feelings about staying close to my nest before the past few years, but it got much worse. And I've been in, literally a year. A year of staying in a one bedroom apartment. Never went out - no docs, nothing. I used telemed places to get my gabapentin refills. But now they won't fill or refill the prescriptions anymore.

So I'm very aware of my peculiarities. I remind myself of all the fun things I used to love. Can't do most of them anymore, but I can remember my carefree spirit.

I did exposure work with my therapist specifically with regards to going for groceries. I won't list off all the troubled thinking only that it was both scary and excruciating to go.

I was going in the middle of the night. Working with my therapist we made up all those lists I mentioned and I could not ignore that: going in the middle of the night was a disadantage as it was more dangerous, I benefited in no way from the worry. When it came to catastrophic thinking we did work that allowed me to believe in the conclusion that the worst case scenarios wouldn't likely happen. We also worked on my self worth and that I probably wasn't being stared at, etc.

gradually, she had me do my shopping later and later and more and more often through the week.

I still have troubles though - like when I don't recognize any of my usual cashiers. But things are soooooo very much easier.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I did exposure work with my therapist specifically with regards to going for groceries. I won't list off all the troubled thinking only that it was both scary and excruciating to go.

I was going in the middle of the night. Working with my therapist we made up all those lists I mentioned and I could not ignore that: going in the middle of the night was a disadantage as it was more dangerous, I benefited in no way from the worry. When it came to catastrophic thinking we did work that allowed me to believe in the conclusion that the worst case scenarios wouldn't likely happen. We also worked on my self worth and that I probably wasn't being stared at, etc.

gradually, she had me do my shopping later and later and more and more often through the week.

I still have troubles though - like when I don't recognize any of my usual cashiers. But things are soooooo very much easier.

We are just starting exposure therapy. Did you find it to be a benefit?