[PanicNoMore]

About 3 and 1/2 years ago I started suffering from panic attacks in the middle of the night, vomiting from stress, not being able to sleep at all, not being able to enjoy anything in life, and fear at all times. I could hardly leave the house, and I could hardly stay in it. IT was absolutely the most horrible experience of my life. Everything I read on the net was from people that said medication hadn't helped them and that they were still trapped in this after years and years.

For two years I tried to deal with it alone. Finally, after losing my career, my mind, and nearly losing my family, I reached out for help. I talked with some people at a church who felt like I had something wrong that could be fixed with medication. I went to see a psychiatrist. I was so scared to try it, scared it wouldn't work, but I did.

I was put on Zoloft and Xanax, and started to attend a 12 step group. I found some people who were honest about their abilities to cope with life just like me. I started all over and put out an ad to be a piano teacher. Nearly 4 years later, I'm still working as a piano teacher and I enjoy it. I still take Zoloft and Xanax (about .5 to 1.5 mg a day). Life has improved a thousandfold. I guess what I'm trying to say is if you are experiencing anxiety and panic, it is a serious thing. Find help, reach out, there are people that will help you and you can find peace of mind and get your life back. There is definitely hope. If you have a similar positive experience, share. I know it would have helped me to hear something like this back when I first started experiencing it.

[Mouse_]

thank you for sharing your hope.

[Soidhonia]

Hello Panic no More. Thank you for sharing your inspirational story with others at Psych Central. I hope your story will go on to help others in need. Take care. Soidhonia

Thank you for sharing your story. I have a similar anxiety-related-hope story. When I was 17 I had my 1st panic attack. Almost instantly, it turned into 5 major panic attacks per day. I couldn't stay in classes at school-- I would just get up from my desk, walk out, and go home. The panic attacks got so bad that I couldn't go out to dinner, shopping, concerts, trips, or anything. I was in danger of not graduating high school. Somehow I did (by a very slim margin), and decided one week before community college classes started, that I was going to try college. So in the midst of all my panic attacks, I began to attend college. This was around the time that I told myself that I was going to fight these panic attacks and there was no way I was going to let them win. It took me 3 1/2 years to get through community college because I had a lot going on-- I was still suffering with the panic attacks, depression, self-injury, etc. I finished with my associate's degree and also began to teach music lessons, just like you, PanicNoMore. I decided I wanted to get my Bachelor's Degree in psychology so I made a promise to myself that no matter what I went through in regards to my mental health, I would not let it interfere with school. I graduated with honors and got my first full time job as a case manager at a homeless shelter. After a couple of months, I was promoted to supervisor. As time went on the panic attacks began to dissipate. I found ways of coping with them, things that worked for me. I realized that just because something might work for a lot of people, or I may read it works, this does not mean it works for me. I had to find my own, creative ways of beating the attacks. I started my Masters Degree and then relocated to Philly. Moving out of state is something I never thought I would do-- I could barely leave the house at one point. Currently I'm eight months away from graduating with my Masters, and have an application in for the Doctoral program. I have an internship as a therapist and I work in vocational rehab. I still deal with pretty bad generalized anxiety, but I very, very seldom have a full-blown panic attack. WIth mental health issues, I do believe there is a point in which you sometimes have to stop and say, "I can't." It has happened to me. However, I don't believe that is ever a permanent thing. I believe strongly in pushing myself and finding what works for me. There was even a time during my Master's studies in which I had to one of my two classes because it became too much for me during a depression-- I was extremely disappointed in myself and thought I broke my "promise" even though I was still attending a class. It was then that I realized the value in being strong enough to realize what was too much, and slowing down to take care of myself-- I thought about it this way rather than beating myself up for it. The most important thing I learned is that anxiety will not kill me-- at times it felt like it would, but it won't-- it's a manifestation of my own "stuff." So many times I would sit in class and ask the professor a question or offer a comment while I was having a panic attack-- no one but me knew. I was trying to fight my way through it and it worked. I knew that whether I was having the panic attack at home, at school, at work, whatever... it was all the same... it was still me... nothing was going to happen even though it was scary as hell... so I just kept pushing... until I pushed them away.