[HumbleIcarus]

Immutable Nature

Do we as human beings have an immutable nature that we are born with – a nature that is inherent in our personality and instinctual?

I have been pondering this concept recently and have wondered if it is the source of some, if not all, of my anxiety.
Please, let me give you an example:

Immutable Nature: I have a deep seeded instinct to be socially viable; meaning I love to talk to people and help people. It is in my nature. It is what I instinctually gravitate towards doing.

Confliction of Nurtured Thought: Through the course of my life I have been hurt the most by people. This hurt and pain has caused me a great deal of distrust towards people. When viewed in conjunction with my hypothesized “Immutable Nature,” a problem is easily foreseen.

Since my distrust in people is a condition of the environment I grew up in, it is in direct conflict with the instinct I was born with: to be social. Immutable Nature vs. Nurtured Idealism.

If we view these two separate modes of thought as two separate running programs, would they not be in constant conflict with one another at all times? The only time I feel anxious is when I’m in social situations and situations where people have pressured me into something.

What are all of your thoughts on this – do you believe I am onto something or just reaching?

Perhaps this conflict is the fountain of anxiety.

[Agent Misty]

I feel like there are a lot of people who have the inate desire to be social and be needed and helpful while also being afraid and stuck, unable to achieve it because of negative experiences causing fear and anxiety towards the actual act of socialization and becoming involved. It is a very painful and frustrating experience, and describes myself.

[feeshee]

I agree. Up until 2005 I was an outgoing, trusting, sociable person who liked being with people. A terrible work situation from 2005 until 2009 changed me. Now I am very wary of people I don't know, even long-time friends. I feel like I must be an unlikeable person. I miss people but so fearful of being around them. I can't risk taking a chance of trusting again. It just hurts too much.

[Sassandclass]

Trust is something I struggle with too - and others say I should be more vulnerable. But how can I do that? When I AM vulnerable I've had ppl use info against me, turn others against me, bully me, abandon me, spread gossip about me etc.
How do i trust after all that?

[HumbleIcarus]

Exactly - I think the problem is people.

Maybe we are mutants and are more evolved than they are and see social structure more importantly haha!

[Sunflower123]

My experiences with people and my environment has included so many traumas that is has changed my immutable nature so I don't feel a conflict anymore. I'm an introvert and don't like being around people very much. My entire personality changed. I was born social, happy and sunny. I am not that same person now so I can see your point about people. I also have social anxiety. Best wishes....

[feeshee]

Originally Posted by Sassandclass

Trust is something I struggle with too - and others say I should be more vulnerable. But how can I do that? When I AM vulnerable I've had ppl use info against me, turn others against me, bully me, abandon me, spread gossip about me etc.
How do i trust after all that?

Exactly.

[Unrigged64072835]

I was a happy child until I started kindergarten. Once I had to deal with teachers and peers it just went downhill. I'm introverted and shy, but I have a great imagination. I was bullied through most of school and my parents were deep into their drama so they didn't help.

I don't go out much anymore. When I go somewhere my husband is with me. I don't have any real friends IRL. People look at me as being gullible, so I don't interact much.

At college there was one student who I thought stated the obvious saying we are a mix of both, nature and nurture, you have to nurture your nature. I knew this well before college.
I have gone through all different phases, like a typical scapegoat does. Being super responsible ignoring own self, being selfish and destructive. Ending up in a co-dependent relationship almost, it was borderline I think. So I am still trying to find myself.
The bi-polar of my illness has made me quite erratic and unreliable. Even accused of having a split personality. But even though I am branded "schizoaffective" I have never lost my personality, it was always intact. I just slipped into depression and became secretive, I had to. My parents think I am bi-polar. I thought I just grew up really fast because of my illness. In hospital a young loon said I was like some old lady because I didn't converse with patients and drug dealers or get stoned. I was detained in the psych ward, I had to behave, bide my time, just read and keep myself to myself.
Another nurse said I needed to get back to being young again. I always felt it was my fault and my illness, It was me who brought about this disconnect from the world. In a small town everyone knows your business. I went into hiding, had enough. Never seen a pub for years. My sibling, was like at least your getting out now when I decided to re-join society.
When I was couped up, I bought a Swiss army knife, tired of feeling weak...
I handed it in to the nurses. I wasn't hapless, this s%^t is serious