[HaeliRealic]

Hi, I have a couple really weird fears that make me very paranoid, anxious and maybe even a little delusional. One of those fears is one day having acid thrown in my face. I have always had a fear of this kind of thing as a child just from watching the news and stuff but It was never something that I was paranoid about of thought of often until a few years ago. Out of nowhere words, phrases and photos in the media, online or anywhere really would start to stick out to me. If I ever heard the words acid, facial reconstruction, Fire etc. they would jump out at me for some reason. I started to see things as signs of some sort whether the news report or conversation had anything to do with an actual acid attack was pretty irrelevant.

Recently I have been only noticing these signs after making a major decision. I have been out of high school for 2 years now and need to make a career choice but my fickleness, my social anxiety and these delusions have made that difficult. Whenever I decide what path to take in terms of schooling and career choice I swear the day of I am faced with some kind of acid attack story and I interpret that as a warning sign telling me not to take that path. I know it's crazy and I don't even really believe it myself, I know my mind is probably just playing tricks on me. There is still a little part of me that does believe it and that little part is enough to second guess myself.

The only time I don't think I was faced with this after making a choice was when I wanted to be a firefighter so I saw that as a sign that I should be a firefighter. Huge problem though! I have high anxiety and fire is one of my major fears. I even find it hard to sleep at night in case the fire alarm in my building goes off. Fire is one of the things I'm paranoid about but my delusional side thinks that it would be a good career choice because I wasn't warned against it by the universe or something. It's crazy, and I know it's crazy.

I would rather just go to uni, study history and get a museum job or become a writer or high school teacher. Logically those are better career choices for someone like me but delusions are not logical and when I made the decision to apply to university for history, I saw an article about some poor woman and her cousin in London who had acid thrown in their faces and obviously I saw that as a warning sign to not apply to university and to not become a teacher. So I chickened out.

I know I shouldn't allow my strange beliefs to dictate my life choices but I can't help it. I'm terrified of making the wrong decision so I'm left here for another year not knowing what to do with my life. Should I just listen to my delusionsand get myself involved in a career that is not fit for me at all or should I be more rational and just do what my brain tells me to and choose a more suitable and enjoyable career? The answer should be simple but I'm a crazy person.

I can't see a psychologist for a while, maybe within 6-8 months but I need to know how to at least cope and push these delusions aside for now. I'm going to apply to an adult high school to upgrade my marks since I have a whole year to apply to uni now anyway. I need to know what courses to take ASAP. Could someone please just convince me to make the better decision here. How do I push delusional thoughts to the side? Thanks, especially if you took the time to read all that gibberish

[Skeezyks]

Hello HaeliRealic: You know... realistically there's no way I'm aware of to simply push delusional thoughts aside. Doing so simply makes them keep coming back stronger & more frequently in my experience. What needs to happen here is for you to get in to see a psychologist or mental health therapist... someone you can talk this over with & figure out what to do about it.

In the meantime, though, there is a Buddhist practice that may be of some benefit to you until you can get in to see a mental health professional. It is referred to as: compassionate abiding. Here's a link to a mental-health-oriented description of the practice:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

May it be of benefit...

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[Sunflower123]

I know you can't see a psychologist for a while but try to get in as soon as you can. In the meantime talk back to that irrational fear each time it pops up and think something else deliberately. Eventually those old neural pathways will fade and the new ones will become stronger. Best wishes

[dermald]

Wanting to be a firefighter, and then realizing your fears and not going there, is actually smart. If you can get pro help and learn to face your fears, then it could be an option down the road.

I'm 52 and still don't know what I want to do, so don't feel too badly. I think there's lots of pressure on young people like you, when it comes to magically knowing what you're going to do. The world is always changing, more rapidly now than ever before. The jobs I've had over the past 15 years didn't even exist when I went to college.

I'd also recommend avoiding the news. I've seen stories about acid thrown in people's faces. Those stories are few and far between, and usually occur within specific groups in specific communities. If you're not living in those areas, and aren't a member of those specific groups or communities, then you might be able to give yourself a break. It's hard to use logic to get over fears. It doesn't always work for me, but I try.

As for avoiding the news, it's something I've had to do, because we can watch all of this horrible stuff, and then what? There's nothing we can do about it. Be informed? At what cost? And you can only care about so much before it starts to take a serious toll, regardless of one's mental health.

I make news filters, so that I get news updates about things I really want to know about, such as certain technology things.

I think it's reasonable to make decisions based on anxiety or phobias. I feel a great level of anxiety around groups of people, so I avoid those positions. So when I was your age and got a job at McDonald's, I was fine so long as I was behind that divider, cooking on the grill. Move me up to a cash register with a lobby full of people, and I'm psychologically and physically in a world of stress, anxiety, and trouble.

I've never gotten past that, so it still dictates what I do, to a degree. Best of luck, and welcome to the forum.

[defyinggravity65]

Originally Posted by HaeliRealic

Hi, I have a couple really weird fears that make me very paranoid, anxious and maybe even a little delusional. One of those fears is one day having acid thrown in my face. I have always had a fear of this kind of thing as a child just from watching the news and stuff but It was never something that I was paranoid about of thought of often until a few years ago. Out of nowhere words, phrases and photos in the media, online or anywhere really would start to stick out to me. If I ever heard the words acid, facial reconstruction, Fire etc. they would jump out at me for some reason. I started to see things as signs of some sort whether the news report or conversation had anything to do with an actual acid attack was pretty irrelevant.

Recently I have been only noticing these signs after making a major decision. I have been out of high school for 2 years now and need to make a career choice but my fickleness, my social anxiety and these delusions have made that difficult. Whenever I decide what path to take in terms of schooling and career choice I swear the day of I am faced with some kind of acid attack story and I interpret that as a warning sign telling me not to take that path. I know it's crazy and I don't even really believe it myself, I know my mind is probably just playing tricks on me. There is still a little part of me that does believe it and that little part is enough to second guess myself.

The only time I don't think I was faced with this after making a choice was when I wanted to be a firefighter so I saw that as a sign that I should be a firefighter. Huge problem though! I have high anxiety and fire is one of my major fears. I even find it hard to sleep at night in case the fire alarm in my building goes off. Fire is one of the things I'm paranoid about but my delusional side thinks that it would be a good career choice because I wasn't warned against it by the universe or something. It's crazy, and I know it's crazy.

I would rather just go to uni, study history and get a museum job or become a writer or high school teacher. Logically those are better career choices for someone like me but delusions are not logical and when I made the decision to apply to university for history, I saw an article about some poor woman and her cousin in London who had acid thrown in their faces and obviously I saw that as a warning sign to not apply to university and to not become a teacher. So I chickened out.

I know I shouldn't allow my strange beliefs to dictate my life choices but I can't help it. I'm terrified of making the wrong decision so I'm left here for another year not knowing what to do with my life. Should I just listen to my delusionsand get myself involved in a career that is not fit for me at all or should I be more rational and just do what my brain tells me to and choose a more suitable and enjoyable career? The answer should be simple but I'm a crazy person.

I can't see a psychologist for a while, maybe within 6-8 months but I need to know how to at least cope and push these delusions aside for now. I'm going to apply to an adult high school to upgrade my marks since I have a whole year to apply to uni now anyway. I need to know what courses to take ASAP. Could someone please just convince me to make the better decision here. How do I push delusional thoughts to the side? Thanks, especially if you took the time to read all that gibberish

It seems as though on some level you acknowledge these thoughts as irrational. Until you can see a doctor, I would try to pay less attention to these thoughts and be more guided by the rational part of your brain. When you feel that fear of an acid attack or are about to make a decision based upon what you perceive is a sign, remind yourself that these are only thoughts, accept them, acknowledge them, but do not act on them. The more you do this, the less powerful those thoughts should be in your brain. The more attention you give them, the more they will keep coming back (speaking from my experience with obsessive thoughts in OCD). In the meantime though, I would really try to see a therapist and talk about some of these things!