Kind of an intro

I'm new to this support site. I remember being part of one when I was pregnant with my daughter, and it really seemed to help; mostly because I was the one offering my help and doing what I could to help other new moms.

Today I find myself in a group and it's because I need help. I have struggled with obsessive thoughts and anxiety since I was 10 years old. Now I'm 36 and my world seems to be spiraling out of control. I quit my job and moved to a new city with my daughter and boyfriend. My boyfriend started a new business that I am helping him to grow. Starting a new business is scary. My daughter was diagnosed with autism about 8 years ago, and I work with other children who have been diagnosed with autism. My life really seems great on paper, but in my mind I'm destined to fail and I can't seem to do anything right.

I get chest pains nightly and I cry for no reason. I can't sleep and I fidget constantly. Lately I fight with my boyfriend all of the time; mostly because he moves things out of their designated place in the house. I've begun to obsess over where things are placed and if they're not then it sets me off.

On my own I decided to go to the doctor yesterday. It didn't take them long to suggest a medication to go on and after 1.5 hours and some questionnaires later I was released back into the wild. This is what brings me here today.

I have a prescription sitting in my nightstand, and I am terrified to take it. It promises me a world I haven't known since I was a small child, but I am so scared it will change me. I don't know what to do. I'm here because I hope somebody can help me work through this or share their experience. Taking a prescription for the first time causes a new wave of fear in me. I'm lost and I feel more broken than I ever have felt...

Hello. First of all, welcome to PC!

I was scared of medication changing me too. I'm not going to tell you to just jump in and everything will be roses. But I will tell you my experience. You probably know this already, but everyone responds differently to different medications, so don't expect any one outcome based on what others say. Still, there are some things that are more common than others.

Is your prescription an anti-depressant? I started with one a few years ago, and it had some unpleasant but manageable side effects. Still, it didn't do a whole lot for me, and I stopped after a few months. I started up a second round, with a different type, two years later, and it seems to be the right one for me.

I'm on my fourth month of this new med. Has it changed me? A little, but not in a bad way, I don't think. I'm not an emotional zombie, which was a fear of mine. Has it "given me my life back", as some claim these medications do? Yes and no. I can tell you that I am not magically cured, and I am not out of the woods with depression and anxiety. BUT...these things have lessened noticeably, and when I do have good days, they are usually better than I've known in a long time.

So, for the time being, I am glad I took the plunge. I'm glad I came back and tried again after the first round didn't do anything for me. Take this experience with a grain of salt as you wrestle with your decision, though. I just wanted to offer one perspective. There are others on here who might give more caution than me, and others still who will be much more insistent on you taking them now, this instant!

Sorry for the wall of text. I wish you luck in managing your anxiety.

Hello. Welcome to PC. I’m sorry you’re struggling with whether or not you should take the medication. It could really help you. Just wanted to lend my support and wish you a smooth transition if you decide to go with taking it. Sending big hugs.