[scatterbrained04]

Does mess and clutter effect any of you?

I get so anxious about it and stress myself out. My son is so messy (he has severe ADHD that contributes). He also has ODD and a low IQ that makes it hard to get his help. I can't even come close to having a clean house unless I clean several hours a day. I don't have that kind of energy, especially with depression. I do about an hour a day, slightly more on weekends. I won't have people over because I get so embarrassed. Like I seriously panic when someone shows up. It doesn't look like I clean at all. I get sensory overload because of it. I'm constantly mad at my child and sometimes resent him. What to do?

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Yes... mess & clutter would be difficult for my wife & I to deal with too. Fortunately for us, it's just the two of us. Plus we live in a townhome. So things stay pretty clean; although we do have a dog & he helps keep the place from being too immaculate.

Also, we're not savers. Anything we don't seem to have a use for, we get rid of. Over time, I've actually gotten rid of some things I now wish I had back. But it's too late now. From what you wrote it sounds as though you're doing more cleaning than we do on a day-to-day basis. I tend to do quite a bit of "spot cleaning". I'm always on the lookout for areas that seem to need attention. And if I see something, I take care of it then-&-there. That way there's less of a need for major cleaning efforts.

Unfortunately I don't know as there is much of anything I could suggest to you here. You didn't mention how old your son is or if he's in school, etc. Perhaps, if he's receiving special education or rehabilitation services, learning to help out around home could be something the people who work with him could focus on. If not, perhaps looking into what might be available in terms of in-home services might be worth while. The key here, it seems to me, is to find some way of teaching him to help take care of things. His disabilities probably do contribute to his "messiness". But they should not be allowed to be an excuse for turning you into his servant. I wish you well.

I have a great need for order. I need things neat and tidy. Things like the hardcore cleaning may fall by the wayside (for example I dust, vacuum, scour the bathroom regularly but I am lazy when it comes to things like baseboards and the oven.) but my place is always presentable and orderly - you never know if someone might pop over.

This stems from prior experience. My mother allowed the house to get cluttered. In university I lived with an aunt who was a hoarder.

[Nike007]

Messes make me anxious too. I can’t work on school stuff without having a clean area around me. I just have to clean up my area near my desk before I start working, which takes time, as I realize all the other things I need to do. I can’t do anything productive without having a clean area. My anxiety goes through the roof.