Fear of going insane...

Hello everyone, hope you're all having a pleasant day.

For a while now, i've been fearing losing my mind and feeling like i'm slowly and obviously, that's been causing me a lot of distress. so i figured i'd ask you guys about this to see if you have any useful advice for me.

So, i'm scared of that i'll develop an illness like schizophrenia or lose touch with reality, and at this point, i'm not sure if i'm exaggerating very minimal things/have irrational fears or if i just don't want to admit that i'm about to "lose it" and can't do anything about it.

I've googled the symptoms of things like schizophrenia and started getting really scared of that i might be about to develop something like that. for example, i ramble a bit and i used to ramble much more, i'm scared of that i might be delusional and i sometimes worry that i'm seeing or hearing things, i'm scared of having certain thoughts because they make me feel as if i'm going insane, i also used to enjoy philosophy because i found it interesting, but after discovering that "Over-philosophizing" is apparently a symptom of schizophrenia i've become too horrified to think "deeply" about anything, even though i'm merely interested in philosophy and don't use it to avoid reality or change it into something that i'd find more "Pleasing" and so on. i also worry that i may not be acting "Normal" even though no one ever tells me i'm doing anything weird.

And the thing is, even though everything i'm experiencing is apparently a symptom of anxiety or something like that and millions of people have had this happen to them without going insane, and my condition has been the same for the last few months and i haven't seen any deterioration at all, i simply can't just shut these feelings up.

Sorry for the long post, but i just have a lot to go through. anyway, do you guys have any advice for me? if it helps, i've been diagnosed with GAD and i'm almost fully recovered from depression and Panic Disorder and have been dealing with them for 3 years.

Thanks for your time...

I've been fearing losing my mind and like i'm slowly going insane*
Sorry about the typo in my first post.

Like the disclaimers say we can't diagnose, but your post doesn't sound delusional or out of touch with reality. And lots of people philosophize or ramble without having any issues. But your right that feelings sometimes just don't go away, even when we think they aren't very rational.

Is it correct to assume you are, or have been, in therapy? That would seem like a good place to talk about these feelings and hopefully figure out what's causing them.

You also mention having been diagnosed before. So maybe you could also go back for another evaluation?

It sounds like the GAD talking, but I don't have any personal experience with that. So maybe someone else here can offer some more experienced support.

Hang in there. If you've mostly recovered from depression and panic disorder, you're a very strong and capable person. You can deal with this.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, i'm honestly relieved to know that i seem "Sane" so far. also yes, i've been diagnosed before with GAD, Panic Disorder and Depression, i've been receiving therapy and took medications for a while (I take less meds now). and i've talked to a therapist about my disorders last month, he said i'm in decent condition but i could benefit from learning how to handle stress better.

Thanks for the kind words, and thanks for sharing your thoughts again!

Yes, I think it might be more a case of the GAD giving you these fears, as well. Because it sounds similar to the way people who suffer with health anxiety [another branch on the anxiety tree, I guess you could say] rationalize things. Hang in there sorrow88, you'll be okay in the long run.

Holy crap. That sounds exactly like me. Over philosophising and worrying about delusion, abnormality and general insanity.

Sometimes I do that when I’m going through a period of anxiety or a mixed manic epidsode. I used to live in mortal terror of being declared “insane.” Then I totally went off the rails and over a cliff. I was labeled with major depression and then bipolar. I finally reached a place of “meh, it is what it is...so what if I’m insane?” I think the fear was the worst part. I’m pretty much ok with it now.

Hi,
I also have really bad fears of developing schizophrenia. I am terrified of delusions and hallucinations, and my obsessive mind therefore always "thinks" I am having them. I have depersonalization as well and often just don't feel like myself. Sometimes I'll have random random, weird thoughts pop into my mind and it makes me really feel like I'm losing it. I definitely know where you're coming from and I've found that just staying busy and keeping the mind occupied elsewhere really helps, as does engaging in social activities. I am a major introvert and feel somewhat uncomfortable and anxious around people, so I like to hermit up in my house a lot, which always makes everything worse.

Julia

Hi Sorrow88,

Everything you've said, I've heard other people say...

Also, in my late teens, I was afraid of going insane and being put in a metal institution (because my mother had). One therapist told me that usually insane folks don't wonder if they are insane.

When I thought about it--my mother never did wonder--she just went off the rails and thought everyone else was crazy...

I think we all have those thoughts now and then--we just shouldn't live there...

I think people worry a lot and it is not a sign of anything, but if you are really distressed you need to go get assessed again for treatment of anxiety or possibly OCD. You can make it worse by doing things that seem to make you feel better in the short term.