....and had a feeling of doom straight away. I hate these days.

I feel like a waste of space to be honest, like I get on EVERYBODYS nerves all the time. Feel like I should just shut up and not say a word. Insecurity at the moment is double, like people think I'm always seeking attention, like I'm sorry for myself, I dont mean to be so horrible. This site was meant to help with issues I have from the past, I 've never told many people about things cos it always sounded like a sob story, i thought coming here I could let it out, be open about what happened and the way I feel but now just feel people are sick of hearing it. Dont get me wrong, I have had the most wonderful support ever, just so confused again right now. Some people find it easier than others to recover I suppose - well good for them, nothing but admiration, but we're not all the same.
When I write it comes across as...me me me all the time, I just want answers to stuff, I dont mean to sound so selfish and boring and self absorbed. I thought this place was meant for this, maybe I'm wrong? If we're not seen as being happy are we useless? All I can say is I'm trying my best and Rome wasn't built in a day. 30 odd years of crap is going to take a while to sort out, truth is it;s hard to know where to start, wish it was so easy as to just put it behind me and get on, but unfortunately it doesn't work like that. Sorry if this doesnt make sense, just writing exactly as I'm thinking right now....

Jinny xxxx

((jinn))))))))
It made perfect sense
you told the truth of how you are feeling
know we all care and are not judging you
tc may you find peace

((((Muffy))))

Thankyou so much, that meant so much to me, you just dont know how much.......love you, Jin xxxxx

[anna342]

Jinny, I think a lot of people can empathise with your feelings. I have these kinds of feelings too. But you got to remember, you are just as important as anyone else. You are feel to vent your thoughts here, and we all want to be here for you.

I have never thought of you as attention seeking or selfish, quite the opposite. You have been there for a lot of people including me. You have been lovely to me when I've needed someone. I'm so sorry you feel bad, I can honestly say that you aren't those bad things. Even if we don't have the answers, we are still all here for you.

Take care Jin, let me know if I can do anything, or you want to chat. xxx

thankyou Anna (((((((((hugs))))))

Sometimes I just fel so down and can't shake it off, I think, well I know I suffer with paranoid episodes too, something I only just proably realised.... idk

Jin, ty so much, love to you

[moodyblu]

Hmmm...what's this I see? I "woke up" and see friends hurting...that are reluctant to tell you they hurt? On a support site? Kerry...please don't be holding back when you feel badly inside...cause how else would we know? How else could we try to console and comfort your troubled spirit ? Ya know...everyone here has rough patches...maybe some "clam up"...others talk about it...but we all are here for reasons of support and care for each other. I am here for you anytime you want to vent. It's alright...go ahead....just know this...o.k.?
gentle hugs...understanding...d.

[Cyran0]

You may have noticed from some of my posts that I worry that I'm being self involved, etc. So I get it. But I believe this is a safe place to be a little self oriented. After all, first and foremost, you're here for you; to help you get better. I don't get the sense that anyone here has a problem with that. Quite the opposite. It seems to me that there are many here who thrive when given the chance to listen, help and support.

So I'd say, if you're going through a rough time, lay it all out there. No need to apologize. I'm sure that in those precious moments where you feel strong, you're there for so many others.

There's a lot of love here and nobody thinks you're horrible.

Cyran0

thanks guys, I dont know how I'd cope without you, I know I've said it before, but I mean it....love y'all, across the pond, Jinny xxxxx

[dragonphoto]

(((((Jinn))))))

I know exactly how you feel right now. But like you said things will get better. Just keep reaching for that caring hand. You are not telling a sob story, you are facing your past and what has hurt you. some people never do this they just keep it all bottled up and it ends up hurting them or someone they care about. So please do not stop telling the stories and know that we are all here to support you.