[Miss P]

I hope this will not come across as being totally lame, stupid, whatever. I'm aware I've brought a lot of stuff on myself. I know my problems are .... all, in comparison to other people's. They are real though, entirely. Like anybody, I have had a lot of traum, etc in my life. It's only in the past few years, I've even began to pick up on what self/care, love are. I have been on self distruct for decades. Everyone else is losing faith (in me), if their still in my world. To say I've messed up n treated everyone badly is sadly an understatement.

I understand where people are losing hope/patience. I just wish I could get em to see, my problems are not all of my own creation. This is the opinion I'm fed, whenever I try explaining to people, yes, I know how it looks (that I am just lazy, I feel sorry for myself, etc) I do agree, in part. I could do more, very true.

I moved over 10 years ago, from hometown. Gradually, over that time, if I've not driven them away, people have naturally driftedaway. I hardly go out, or see anyone. Only a friend locally, who is good to me, and we meet pretty regularly. I don't understand, how/why, my doctors n therapist, are all mostly saying, I do have genuine problems. Yet, people who have known me, for decades, if not, for my whole life, tell me, I basically just need to crack on, I'm quite simply emotional. 'They've' made it plain, my stuff is my own doing

I do feel miserable n misunderstood (opinions of others, constantly thrown back to me) no, I don't feel like I manipulate, if anything, I hold back huge amounts (thank gosh my therapist sees it) I'm getting tired. I know I've anxiety n am sure I'm depressed, but I stress, depression's very rare...I mostly have anxiety.

everybody on this site is here for you.

((((hugs))))

[Miss P]

I really appreciate it. Thank you

Ahhh....nothing is really wrong, that's just it...but, lots of things are, y'k? It's everything knowing I can get it out here, sounding/testing things n it means a lot, as I have been lucky enough to find y'all. You 'get' it, and I'm also here. For anybody

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry you are feeling miserable & misunderstood. My own experience over the years (& there have been a lot of them) is that the people in your life (family, friends, etc.) just want you to be the person they want you to be... the person who fulfills whatever niche you fit into in their lives. And they don't care what that does to you.

The people in your life don't really care about your problems. They have their own & they don't know what to do about yours. They'll stick with you for a while, depending on how important a person you are to them in their lives. But sooner or later if you don't conform you'll see them drifting further-&-further away. That's the good thing about therapists. Since you pay them for their services they're willing to stick with you... at least until the money runs out. I apologize if that seems harsh. But it has been my experience.