[Melodysmooth]

Hey all,

A quick intro about myself: I am in my late 20's, work full time from home for the past 10 years. My husband taught me to drive when I was in my early 20's but I don't drive everyday only on weekends or whenever it's necessary and mostly locally.

Around two years ago I posted a thread about driving anxiety/phobia where I received many helpful responds, and even feedback from many that could relate. Since that time, I have improved a lot. I drive more calmly, and don't hesitate to do so compared to before. But I still suffer from anxiety issues.

For instance, something that is driving me crazy! I still don't know to properly parallel park, I avoid it. I won't park in front of my own house that may require along the side or parallel, and instead I park in the rear yard and get panic attacks as I reverse my car in the carport, I constantly look outside, constantly 'think' about how to make my situation easier for me and even memorized my rear neighbor's schedule so if I park my car in forward I wait until she moves her car and leaves so I can fix my car and reverse park so it's easier for me to get it out and avoid crashing into her car (never happen, just me overthinking) if I have to drive the next day (Who does that?!). My mind becomes a nervous cluster when I have to reverse park, go on the high way (which I rarely do), driving to unknown locations, etc..

Sure, I get things done like taking my daughter to her med appts, grocery shopping, going out etc.. but I am still not a confident driver. I still google map street views. I still mostly drive in my safe zones. This is affecting my life.

I don't feel like this always but when I feel little control,scared then it leads me tot feel anxious,nervous,intrusive thoughts, overthink a lot, have self doubt, think people are looking at me.. and driving is only one aspect. An important one at that, because of this I avoid a lot of things. And it doesn't help that I work full time from home, it isolates me..makes me feel safer but I want to grow.

To add, I get similar anxiety feelings in social situations as well. Some people just tell me, I need to go out more,gain a social life and I agree but what if I actually have an anxiety disorder/ocd.. I know I have to get out there more, practice. Now more than ever that I am a first time mom.

Besides practicing more, should I seek a therapist for anxiety help issues or should I go to a driving school and see if they can help me with those things I have yet to improve? I am not sure if my problem is overall anxiety which isn't helping me think straight in those situations or if I just need some help from a professional when it comes to driving.

[Skeezyks]

I don't think anyone can really answer your questions for you. Especially when it comes to anything related to mental health issues, nothing is cut-&-dried, so to speak. Would it help to go to driving school? Well... it certainly couldn't hurt I wouldn't think. Should you see a therapist? It certainly wouldn't hurt to give that a try too.

There's not going to be any way to know which of these may help until you try them. So my thinking would be to start with one & then perhaps add the other. In the long run, what may be most important here is not so much what you do as is the fact that you're taking positive action to address problems in your life that you perceive as holding you back from becoming as competent a person as you'd like to be. Cultivating a feeling of being in control of your life & the direction it's taking is, to my way of thinking, what's important.

Hi there and welcome! Personally, I think it’s a good idea to see a therapist and go to driving school. Give yourself plenty of time and patience. I’m so envious you get to work from home. I would really love that. Best of luck to you.

[Melodysmooth]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

I don't think anyone can really answer your questions for you. Especially when it comes to anything related to mental health issues, nothing is cut-&-dried, so to speak. Would it help to go to driving school? Well... it certainly couldn't hurt I wouldn't think. Should you see a therapist? It certainly wouldn't hurt to give that a try too.

There's not going to be any way to know which of these may help until you try them. So my thinking would be to start with one & then perhaps add the other. In the long run, what may be most important here is not so much what you do as is the fact that you're taking positive action to address problems in your life that you perceive as holding you back from becoming as competent a person as you'd like to be. Cultivating a feeling of being in control of your life & the direction it's taking is, to my way of thinking, what's important.

Thank you, you're right it's not a cut and dry situation. Oh, how I wish there was a magical pill that I can take that will instantly make my mind free of worries and make me a great confident driver but it will take a lot more than that. Looking back to two years ago, I wouldn't even dare to get on new roads.. which I do now and I've improved so much but realistically it's because I've practice more.

One of my biggest problems is my mind, yesterday I was running errands and I knew I was going to park in front of my mom's house so all I kept thinking even the day before was "I hope there's parking so I won't have to parallel park or I hope I park well.." and luckily there was parking available. And even after I found parking, I would peek outside my mom's house window staring at my car just to see if I parked okay (I've made this a habit as well), and constantly thinking hmm I should have parked closer or let me go back and fix it (even though it was parked fine). Sometimes, I'd pretend I'm getting something inside my car, but instead I go back and try to fix my parking just to make my self reassure. See, those are the things I need to improve mentally. Fear and nervousness, will betray you to the point where you could be doing perfectly fine but your mind will taunt you and say, "no,no you did it wrong, could have parked closer to the sidewalk.. or the neighbors must be laughing". And this only happens with things I have self doubt.. I could be driving fine until I am placed in a situation where I don't feel confident in.

I will get there though, like you mentioned the most important thing is being aware of one's situation and the feeling of being in control.

[Melodysmooth]

Originally Posted by Sisabel

Hi there and welcome! Personally, I think it’s a good idea to see a therapist and go to driving school. Give yourself plenty of time and patience. I’m so envious you get to work from home. I would really love that. Best of luck to you.

Thank you! I agree, maybe doing both would be helpful. In my case, I'm not sure what type of therapist.. I was searching for one but it seems like most specialize in a list full of things, rather than just anxiety disorder/cognitive behavioral. As for driving school, I'm going to give a call and check if there's some sort of "defense" driving or if they can just teach me certain things.

yeah! I get that a lot about my job. I truly love the fact that I get to work from home, and I feel blessed about it .. but when you've been doing it for so long, and feel like there's no growth I sometimes wonder what else is out there