[xmascarol]

Maybe this sound silly but I called my mom no answer of course I know that she is dead however I know that I am still not accepting her death even though she has not been gone for ten months yet.After all this time you would think I wouldnt feel this way.I cry myself to sleep sometimes just early in the morning I did it last night.How long will this feeling of sadness and denial last?I keep thinking that this is all a big nightmare and I cannot get out of it.I thought it would be gone by now.I need my mom,I do talk to her everyday and no I dont get an answer if I did I would be in more trouble.I tell her and my dad that I love them very much he is gone too.I miss Bob to he has been gone almost 15 years. Maybe this posts sounds stupid but I cannot help the way I feel.I feel like when I call her she is going to pick up the phone and talk into it.For me Idont want to die to scared.

[MickeyCheeky]

You're not stupid at all, xmascarol! This thread isn't stupid at all! It's perfectly understandable that you'd feel this way. It's certainly very hard and very painful to go through all of this. It's be for everyone. Unfortunately it can take us a lot to time to grieve the loss of a loved one. Ten months is definitely not enough for many people. You're definitely not alone in this. Unfortunately I don't know how long this will last. It may take some more months. Please don't give up. Try to hang on. I know it's hard, but I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this. I know things seem pretty hard right now, but trust me when I say that they can and will get better! I promise you that! Don't give up hope! I hope things will get better soon for you. If you keep them in your memory, they'll continue to be alive. Remember to take care of yourself as well! You're important and you matter. Take good care of yourself! Sending many hugs to you, xmascarol

[xmascarol]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

You're not stupid at all, xmascarol! This thread isn't stupid at all! It's perfectly understandable that you'd feel this way. It's certainly very hard and very painful to go through all of this. It's be for everyone. Unfortunately it can take us a lot to time to grieve the loss of a loved one. Ten months is definitely not enough for many people. You're definitely not alone in this. Unfortunately I don't know how long this will last. It may take some more months. Please don't give up. Try to hang on. I know it's hard, but I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this. I know things seem pretty hard right now, but trust me when I say that they can and will get better! I promise you that! Don't give up hope! I hope things will get better soon for you. If you keep them in your memory, they'll continue to be alive. Remember to take care of yourself as well! You're important and you matter. Take good care of yourself! Sending many hugs to you, xmascarol

I miss my mom today and I just had a nasty yelling spell I had no sound on my tv this the third time already but I found something that help I take the old batteries out of my old control put new ones in and they worked need my sound it makes me very anxious and nervous whenever I lose something all I did was chance the channel it worked I say it is a good thing I saved y remote still after awhile it goes out I am so sick of this crap.

[Goforward]

I understand xmascarol. I missed my mother for years after her death. I had a set time once a week when I would call. I would think of something I would want to tell her then come crashing down when I remembered she was gone. It took quite a while for the need to call to pass. Time will be the cure.

[xmascarol]

Originally Posted by Goforward

I understand xmascarol. I missed my mother for years after her death. I had a set time once a week when I would call. I would think of something I would want to tell her then come crashing down when I remembered she was gone. It took quite a while for the need to call to pass. Time will be the cure.

Thank you it is so hard.I cannot believe she will be gone a whole year on June 9th.I am missing her so much.My dad to . I lost both of my parents in less then three years.

[downandlonely]

I can't imagine how hard it must be to lose both your parents so close to each other. I'm sorry you're hurting.

I don't think it's stupid to talk to your mom. Plenty of people talk to dead loved ones, and I think it can be therapeutic. Do you have any support irl?

[xmascarol]

Originally Posted by downandlonely

I can't imagine how hard it must be to lose both your parents so close to each other. I'm sorry you're hurting.

I don't think it's stupid to talk to your mom. Plenty of people talk to dead loved ones, and I think it can be therapeutic. Do you have any support irl?

I do have my best friend other then that not really.My kids dont care how I feel ,they are always to busy to do anything.
I hope you are alright.I even throw my mom a kiss and a hug but it goes for my dad too,.you know when my dad died I didnt feel this way at all ,Maybe it was because I was closer to my mom.She wouldnt talk to me 2 weeks before she died.It wasnt me she just didnt want to talk to anyone,She was so sick.It makes me sick to think she looked like a skeleton.She was thin enough to begin with.Well she should be happy now because she is with my dad.Still it hurts

[downandlonely]

Yeah, the dead are probably ok, but it's the living that hurt and miss them.

I'm sorry you don't have support from your kids.

[xmascarol]

Originally Posted by downandlonely

Yeah, the dead are probably ok, but it's the living that hurt and miss them.

I'm sorry you don't have support from your kids.

You know that I love both of my children and 2 grandchildren so much.They sometimes make fun of my mental illness.I know they joke around how I got a screw loose.I may act like it doesnt bother me in front of them but when they are not around I cry on the inside.
So how have you been doing?I hope that you are alright.

[xmascarol]

I just placed another call to my moms house no answer ,Duh why should there be,I just wanted to hear her voice.Mom I love you and dad too.