[Kiya]

Ohhhhhhhh my gosh, I must have been totally out of my MIND to take a seasonal job in the mall when my main anxiety is PEOPLE!!!! Crowds and crowds of people!!!!
Such a pleasant way to start the day off by having an anxiety attack from just trying to get to the store - then finding it crammed with people. I've only been there 3 weeks i think and today the workers are starting to see a new side of me (mainly because i then switch into someone a lot more irritable and with a stinging, quick tongue. I told one gal, I'm trying so hard to be good, but I left my halo at home.
Something's got to change and I don't feel I can just up and quit right as the season (for which I was hired) is starting.
Kiya

[pachyderm]

You do not have to share your insides with everyone. Only with ones you choose.

[Perna]

Kiya, I did that, started a retail job and then quit because I didn't like it, right about this time. If it is not right for you, it's not right! Your experiences are supposed to be providing you information about your likes and dislikes. If you are surly :-) working with the public and your coworkers, how is that helpful to anyone? Don't feel guilty about quitting now, especially since it is early and they can probably get a replacement clerk easier. It's not going to get any easier, as you know!

[Kiya]

Today was worse - I was not surly, just panicked. Someone asked me what was wrong and I told them it was a panic attack - then broke into tears and ran to the break room. =( I'm going to call my dr in the morning, and my T (PMHNP) and see if there's anything they can help with. I can't keep on like this - and as was said, the circumstance is not going to improve. I might talk with the manager, too - I do ok at the register. But today I was assigned floor person. @_@! That's just not gonna work out. I'm scared to tell them! I don't want to appear how I feel (damaged) and be fired! I took this job out of desperation after not being hired for 3 months.

[no_peep_outa_me]

If you absolutely need the job to survive, try talking to the manager. You said that being assigned as floor person is "just not going to work out." But, you do OK at the register, right? Why not tell the manager you feel as though you're a good fit for the register position and ask if you can be assigned to that position, either more often or from here on out.

The manager can either say yes or no. Try approaching him/her as a concerned employee who wants to do a good job. Sometimes managers are more receptive if you ask for their advice. I do this all the time with my boss: "Do you have a minute? I'd really like your advice about something that's been on my mind..."

If the manager isn't willing to work with you, or if you still feel like the position just isn't going to work out (no way, no how), start looking for a new job. I know, easier said than done.

The bottom line is that you need to take care of yourself. Talk to your doctor. Talk to your T. Talk to the manager. But, don't feel guilty for taking care of yourself, even if that means quitting this job and looking for a different one. The store will survive with or without you, so make the decision that's right for you.

[Kiya]

ok... that's a plan. I already emailed T. Not that she's ever emailed me back. But if all else fails i see her on tues. I will call MD in the morning. THins is dumb, but I am hoping my manager will bring it up first "I heard you had a panic attack yesterday".... that would help me to be able to say my needs. Chances are more likely that that won't happen. Anytime someone approaches M. she can level them with a look. I'm running all types of synarios in my mind to be prepared for tomorrow.
Thanks... kiya

[AAAAA]

Good Luck Kiya,

Hopefully the Dr will give you some medication to deal with the anxiety. I would be lost without my lorazapam.

[haunted]

good luck to you! I was just put on xanax yesterday for severe attacks. I work at a hospital and the other day I told a nurse that i didn't have her paperwork ready for her when she called asking for it that I was very sorry, my crystal ball is way too heavy for me to cary to work on a daily basis and that next time could she just call and tell me she needs something? She was not happy with me, I know it is not in my nature to say something like that but that is what anxiety does. Makes you say things you regret sometimes.

[Kiya]

Thanks. I told my manager that i wanted to stay on the register as much as poss - she looked at me like i'd done lost my mind. 2 days later she had a totally different attitude because the asst. manager *had* told her! She was very helpful and had me on a register in 2 hours.
But that was just one day. Though the other managers are letting me work on their registers until mine comes open (ty m!!!) I started on some anxiety stuff, but I can't tell if it's working. i had more attacks last night in choir where i ended up crying because i felt claustrophobic in the center of the choir. i did get to move for the last song. i am nervous about today and friday (2 of the busiest days in the shopping world). Then from Friday on till Dec 24th i hear it will be hell. Boy am i glad i took this job.
good luck to you also and everyone else dealing with stuff.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((everyone))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[ocdchick]

I was looking into a part-time job but I think I'll wait till the holidays are over-they've probably already hired all the seasonal people.

ocd chick

[Perna]

Too much "thinking", call/stop by and ask! My local grocery store wants a part-time veggie clerk :-) Don't just look at the obvious places, everyone will need extra help.

[Kiya]

yeah i still see signs up in the stores - hallmark was hiring.
just call - it can't hurt. all they can tell you is no. =)

[Kiya]

and it continues!!! We had our final choir concert last night and and a party - and anxiety hit hard. I even know a lot of these people - certainly not all.... I had to really push to keep myself from leaving right away.
*tears*
Kiya