[Susan27]

hi all,
i'm susan (duh). i have been using this site a lot lately because i find it really helps to read other's posts and respond when you can really relate to what someone's written to offer support. i hate being alone...i actually get scared when i'm physically by myself and so i like to log on at work and when i'm home so that i can feel closer to people. Everyone sounds so nice on here and there's a lot of warmth and support.

i feel like it's really hard to fit in and am not quite sure how to befriend any of you on a more personal level. i try welcoming new members whenever i can and responding and doing what i can to "join in" but i still feel like an outsider looking in. i'm sure it probably takes a while to get to know people but this is one of those symptoms/triggers that i deal with on a regular basis anyway so it's especially hard - just feeling lonely, invisible, and not really there to people.

guess i just wanted to put that out there in the hopes that a few of you would say hi. my bf has been away for like a week, the anniversary of my father's passing is tomorrow and I'm in an ongoing struggle with severe anxiety and depression and depersonalization symptoms that strike up pretty often so i can feel very cut and isolated off at times.

it would just be really nice to know a couple of you better so that i can write during the day I actually have somebody to write to in these posts. Hopefully one day I can fit in to one of those groups that get and give all those ((((hugs )))))!!

thanks for listening.
-just me

[Cyran0]

Susan27, I'm so sorry you're feeling left out. It's one of the cruel tricks of the internet, we're all invisible. I'm completely hidden until I post and even then, it's up to some other stranger to notice what I typed. It can be hard to stand out.

I think starting this thread is a great way to call out to people and start some good conversations. Send a couple private messages to people who's posts you connected with and I think you'll notice a lot of people write you back.

Another silly thing that works is to get a unique avatar so people associate you with a visual image (doesn't have to be your picture but something nobody else has as an avatar).

I'm glad you're here and now that this conversation is started, I'm sure you'll get lots of interest.

Good luck and be safe.

Cyran0

[Susan27]

thank you cyran0

it's weird, it can feel so impersonal at times and yet it's great because you have a place where people are suffering from a lot of the same issues that you know you'll be able to really connect with as opposed to those we run into in our everyday lives.

guess i'm just feeling really lost and lonely lately and i know there must be others out there who want to make a more personal connection but are just standing by the wayside reading. i guess i'm reaching out, like you said, in an attempt to do just that.

see, i've checked this posting already and it's only been a few hours. thanks for your kind words and your advice.

[Kiya]

Hey - I've seen you asnwer several of my posts, i had no idea you were feeling like you weren't connecting with anyone. =( Feel free to write me any time, i LOVE email and responding to people. Sometimes in here i feel i "talk" too much and try to step back. i don't want to be overbearing or like I am taking over someone's post. I write far more than i ever talk. Hope you feel connected soon.... nice to "meet you in person" as it were.
Kiya

[Perna]

Hey, Susan, we're all here and including/enjoying you; if we didn't we'd let you know

I don't like the anxiety either of looking/feeling like an outsider so I just "assume" I'm included and act like that :-) The more posts one gets without being thrown off, that helps too, LOL.

Seriously, I'm very glad you're here and wanting to join in.

[AAAAA]

Hey Susan,

I totally understand how you feel. Have you tried the chat room for real-time company and support? I've met a lot of really wonderful people there.

[50guy]

(((((susan))))) there ya go kid! Welcome and don't be shy.

If you like to PM go ahead and send me one.

Eric

[Susan27]

Thank you Kiya, Perna, AAAAA and 50-guy (especially for the hugs!) i feel better already. (i should've also written it wouldn't take much!) just knowing you took the time to reply to my post makes a world of difference. (self esteem must be low lately because my fear was that it would go unanswered)

can i give them now....um.....

((((( to you all )))))))

heehee - i'm like a little kid that got some attention. surely needed that

[nowheretorun]

((((Susan27)))) (27 is my favorite number..... (((smiles)))

[Susan27]

(((((((nowheretorun)))))))))
I've gotten more huggles
yipppeeeeeeeeee


OK..on a more adult note...thank you so much.
it's amazing me how much this has helped.
so glad i posted now!

[Pita]

Hey ((((((((Susan)))))))

I know what you are saying - sometimes it is easy to believe that we are invisible to other people. But just know that you are not and that you are as important as anyone here. Anytime you need it - just reach out as you did and ask for a hello or a hug.

((((((((((((Susan)))))))))))))
I'm sorry you've felt left out! I was just talking to someone tonight how posting posts is really like just putting yourself out there. We're here for you! Take care.

[NewDawnFades]

Dear Susan,

I just wanted to let you know that I can honestly say that I sincerely understand everything you addressed in your posting. There is not a single day that goes by that I don't "battle" severe depression, anxiety of all types, OCD, agoraphobia, and memories of the past. It seems never-ending.

I also wanted to say that if you need a friend or even simply a sounding board, I will be here for you. I am relatively quiet and reserved, but I also care about others who struggle with the burden of these difficult problems.

Well, I hope that you are feeling better and that you and your family have a great new year. Please take care of yourself,


David (NewDawnFades)

((((((((((((((susan))))))))))))

welcome to pc....just want you to know we share the same fears, and want to extend NewDawnFades point of view in that I am here if you need to talk.....I suffer with mild agraphobia, insomnia, depression, anxiety etc etc....lol....trying to overcome it all in therapy...my past was abusive...

just know you have loads of support

hugs Jinny xxxxx

[50guy]

See that, jinnyann responded to. You have a good frind in her that's for sure.

Hiya, Kerry, you still lookin good?? Sure you are!

Eric

(((((((50 guy))))))

thankyou you're too kind lol ... you're all welcome to pm me...I like to help and dont like to see anyone hurting.....

hope you're feeling better 50 guy

Jin x

[sabby]

Susan!

I think you did a wonderful job of letting folks know how you were feeling and reaching out to us in the way that you did. So often I think some folks are afraid of reaching out ... for many different reasons. You took a chance in order to connect and I think that's awesome!

We are glad you are here Susan. Loneliness can be so hard to deal with at times and I'm sorry you are going through it right now.

It does sometimes take a bit of time to form friendships here. But that's not to say you won't fit in....not at all. It just takes a bit of time and patience.

I wish you well Susan....you are welcome to pm me anytime.


sabby

[ECHOES]

Hi Susan, how nice to meet you. Your post is a great introduction of yourself!

Today is also the anniversary of my father's death.

[Susan27]

I have gotten bombarded with your reaching out and it's truly amazing. i really am kinda stunned here. and on the anniv of my dad's passing...it's perfect...thank you so much

[MyBestKids2]

Hi Susan, welcome!!! Did we meet before, a health issue maybe? Hmmm.....anywho, this is a wonderful place to be. Looking forward to seeing ya lots.

Dee

[Susan27]

hi dee! yes we did. you were my first ever PM (awwwww)
(also sounds a bit weird too...um...) anyway, it's good to see you again (your print anyway!)
thanks for your response

[Debby]

Hello Susan27 ,
I completely understand how you feel . I struggle with making
conversation and connecting with people.
Good luck and any time you want to talk I'm hear.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((( Susan ))))))))))))

[Susan27]

thank you debby...PM me anytime!

((((((( fuzzybear! ))))))))